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So THAT'S what a "takeout" double looks like. Funny, but every bridge book I have ever read disagrees. If you read the GIB definition of that "takeout" double, you will see that even GIB disagrees!
Still, give the ignorant warthog credit: He did NOT add another zero to his collection. No, SIR! HE was able to score a full 9.09 % on the board, which - for a GIBBO robot - is a TERRIFIC result.
Note the "brilliant" declarer play, by the way. I guess East was shocked - SHOCKED, I tell you - to see North ruff the second spade. Maybe East wasn't aware that South, playing FIVE-card majors, had OPENED one SPADE. No, on second thought, maybe East is just an...I.D.I.O.T.!!!
https://www.bridgeba...D2%7Cmc%7C10%7C
Benellis58 GIB bashing on repeat Groundhog Day
#2763
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Posted 2026-September-24, 12:37
As usual, I am NOT impressed by the GIB definition of North's double.
I am even LESS impressed by the M.O.R.O.N.I.C. double itself.
https://www.bridgeba...H6%7Cpc%7CCT%7C
I am even LESS impressed by the M.O.R.O.N.I.C. double itself.
https://www.bridgeba...H6%7Cpc%7CCT%7C
#2764
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Posted 2026-September-24, 12:56
We got to a perfectly normal spot. We made 12 tricks. We scored 95 % on the board. All is good, so why am I posting this hand?
I'm posting it, as always, to (in Diana's immortal word choice) "bash" the GIB (now GIBBO) robots...as always in the hope that the powers that be will ONE DAY either HUGELY improve these execrable GIB/GIBBO monstrosities, or - better yet - dispose of them and replace them with DECENT robots. In 2026, DECENT robots DO exist, and if BBO improved its robots it would INSTANTLY be HUGELY improving its site at the same time. That would be great not only for BBO players, members, and paying customers, but also for BBO itself...in a modern world where many competing bridge sites have sprung up as alternatives to BBO.
In a matchpoint game, I think North's leap to 4H is too much. Only by a LITTLE bit, because he DOES have a pretty good hand, but still an overbid. As usual, he gained NOTHING by it, because had he "merely" invited with 3H, South would easily have accepted. And if South had had a hand NOT good enough to accept an invitation, the game would probably NOT have made, so as usual the robot's bidding gained nothing, might have lost on a different layout, and at best rated to break even (as it did here).
This hand is far, far, FAR from the worst thing the robots have ever done, but it's a "slow news day" so I figured I'd post it anyway. Most days I wouldn't have bothered, because most days the pathetic GIBBO robots commit numerous sins that are WAY worse than this borderline one.
Check out post #2765, immediately following this one. It shows the same hand, but from a different table, and there the GIBBO robot makes a MUCH stupider overbid. One thing you can ALWAYS count on is the abhorrent and perpetual incompetence of the useless GIBBO robots.
https://www.bridgeba...S7%7Cmc%7C12%7C
I'm posting it, as always, to (in Diana's immortal word choice) "bash" the GIB (now GIBBO) robots...as always in the hope that the powers that be will ONE DAY either HUGELY improve these execrable GIB/GIBBO monstrosities, or - better yet - dispose of them and replace them with DECENT robots. In 2026, DECENT robots DO exist, and if BBO improved its robots it would INSTANTLY be HUGELY improving its site at the same time. That would be great not only for BBO players, members, and paying customers, but also for BBO itself...in a modern world where many competing bridge sites have sprung up as alternatives to BBO.
In a matchpoint game, I think North's leap to 4H is too much. Only by a LITTLE bit, because he DOES have a pretty good hand, but still an overbid. As usual, he gained NOTHING by it, because had he "merely" invited with 3H, South would easily have accepted. And if South had had a hand NOT good enough to accept an invitation, the game would probably NOT have made, so as usual the robot's bidding gained nothing, might have lost on a different layout, and at best rated to break even (as it did here).
This hand is far, far, FAR from the worst thing the robots have ever done, but it's a "slow news day" so I figured I'd post it anyway. Most days I wouldn't have bothered, because most days the pathetic GIBBO robots commit numerous sins that are WAY worse than this borderline one.
Check out post #2765, immediately following this one. It shows the same hand, but from a different table, and there the GIBBO robot makes a MUCH stupider overbid. One thing you can ALWAYS count on is the abhorrent and perpetual incompetence of the useless GIBBO robots.
https://www.bridgeba...S7%7Cmc%7C12%7C
#2765
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Posted 2026-September-24, 13:08
As promised, here's the same hand that was in post # 2764 immediately above, but from a different table. Here the human South chose to rebid 2S rather than 2H...and here the always ignorant GIBBO piece of trash in the North made a RIDICULOUS overbid of 4S. Note that THIS bid was FAR worse than North's 4H in the preceding post. There, North at least had a trump FIT with his excellent FOUR-card support of AQJ6. HERE, however, the clueless, useless lump of dirt had trump "support" of...82 doubleton.
Please BBO honchos, PLEASE send these GIBBO trashcans to a scrap heap (preferably on Jupiter or Pluto!) and replace them with DECENT robots.
https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cpc%7CC5%7C
Please BBO honchos, PLEASE send these GIBBO trashcans to a scrap heap (preferably on Jupiter or Pluto!) and replace them with DECENT robots.
https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cpc%7CC5%7C
#2766
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Posted 2026-September-24, 18:19
How bad ARE the disgustingly reprehensible GIBBO robots? THIS bad. This is QUITE the hand!!!
It starts with a typically illogical, ridiculous, braindead lead by the world-class M.O.R.O.N. in the West. Superstooge decides that his best POSSIBLE lead on this auction is his...STIFF 4 of hearts.
I win trick one and see that if I don't take the first 7 tricks, I will almost certainly go down.
CAN I take the first seven? Well, let's see. Given the enemy hearts that were played at trick one (the 4 led by West and the 2 played by East), it seems highly unlikely that the suit is 4-3. In fact, it rates to be 5-1, as in practice it was. The only difference is that with NORMAL bridge players (as opposed to these GIBBO lunatics), it would be WEST with five and EAST with one!
Thus, it strongly looks as if I have (only) three guaranteed heart tricks: the jack that I just took, plus my remaining high ace and king. I also have three top spade tricks (my ace and dummy's KQ). That brings me up to SIX of the seven that I need. An obvious possibility for the necessary seventh trick is another spade. That's certainly something that COULD happen, but what would it require?
Well, I would have a fourth spade trick (and therefore my required seventh quick trick overall)...if enemy spades broke 3-3. But is that likely? Probably not, given that I'm assuming from the play to trick one that hearts are 5-1. So, is there any other layout where I can take four quick spade tricks (since I'm assuming they are not 3-3)? Yes, there is...but ONLY one! The ONLY other layout is if one of the opponents has specifically a stiff jack. If that's the case, I can cash my spade ace (dropping the hoped-for stiff enemy jack), then cash my 10 (which would now be higher than all four remaining enemy spades), and then cash dummy's remaining KQ. Presto: My required 7 tricks, via 3 hearts and 4 spades.
BUT...notwithstanding that I'm playing on the assumption that enemy hearts are 5-1, a (second) 5-1 split is still heavily against the odds (EVEN on BBO, where 5-1 and 5-0 splits seem to occur far more frequently than in "real" F2F bridge). Furthermore, I would not only need a 5-1 split (against the odds to begin with), but it would have to be a SPECIFIC 5-1 with the one being SPECIFICALLY the jack. I'm not a trained mathematician, but it's not too hard to see that such a specific layout is HUGELY against the odds.
Why must it be a STIFF jack? Why not a doubleton? Looking at the actual hand provides a perfect example (of MANY possible perfect examples) of the answer. The jack actually IS doubleton on this hand. I could cash two high spades, dropping East's doubleton jack, and my 10 would indeed be high...but I could NOT take four spade tricks, because I would not have the communication. Having cashed my ace and one of dummy's KQ to drop the doubleton jack, I could now cash my 10, and dummy's remaining high honour would indeed be high, but I could not reach it, as dummy would have no entry. And if I OVERTOOK my 10 with dummy's remaining high honour, dummy's FINAL spade (the 5 or 4) would be lower than WEST'S final spade (the 8, 7, or 6).
I could try cashing my ace, praying that the jack was stiff, and if it was, I'd be a hero. But if it wasn't, which would be FAR more likely, I would have exposed my values to the opponents, and even THEY would probably defend properly after that, armed with the knowledge of 12 of my HCP (AKJ of hearts and ace of spades) AND having seen what I was trying to do.
So ultimately, I decided that both LEGITIMATE shots at four spade tricks (a 3-3 spade split or a stiff jack of spades) were very unlikely. Then I said to myself, "I'm playing against two of the worst 'defenders' of ALL time, so I think I'll have some fun, do some experimenting, and play for a SWINDLE of these hopeless C.R.E.T.I.N.S."
Therefore, at trick TWO, before they could know anything else about my hand apart from what had occurred at trick one, I led...my four of CLUBS (!) from my holding of 954 (!) towards dummy's 1062! West, with AQJ83, popped his jack. I called for dummy's 2, and East naively played his 7 from K7 dub.
At trick three, West...shifted to a spade!!!!!!! Mission accomplished! WHATEVER the spade position was, and WHOEVER had the spade jack, I now had a GUARANTEED four spade tricks and a GUARANTEED seven tricks in all, wrapping up my required seven to make 1NT and get the plus 90 i was looking for.
I doubt that this experiment would have worked on ANY decent player (for starters, a DECENT player would not have led his stiff 4 of hearts!), but it was no surprise to me AT ALL that it worked on these braindead GIBBO yokels.
Note that I took seven tricks and they took six...BUT...a DECENT East-West pair could have taken the first EIGHT tricks without difficulty, and even HERE, when I made my "swindle play" at trick two, they could still have taken the same eight tricks (five clubs, three diamonds...and maybe even a FOURTH diamond if I desperately popped my queen on a low diamond play by East). I was banking on my knowledge of how EXTRAORDINARILLY atrocious the GIBBO robots are, and - sure enough - they lived DOWN to their wretched reputation. And if my experiment had failed ? Well, I very likely would have had a rock solid bottom, since I always COULD have cashed out for down (only) one. But if that happened, big deal. It's not as if I was playing in the final of the Spingold - it was just a silly little game with three useless GIBBO robots, and I'd have an interesting story to tell anyway. Obviously, some of my experiments DO fail, but most succeed, and even the ones that DO fail provide amusement.
https://www.bridgeba...DK%7Cpc%7CCT%7C
It starts with a typically illogical, ridiculous, braindead lead by the world-class M.O.R.O.N. in the West. Superstooge decides that his best POSSIBLE lead on this auction is his...STIFF 4 of hearts.
I win trick one and see that if I don't take the first 7 tricks, I will almost certainly go down.
CAN I take the first seven? Well, let's see. Given the enemy hearts that were played at trick one (the 4 led by West and the 2 played by East), it seems highly unlikely that the suit is 4-3. In fact, it rates to be 5-1, as in practice it was. The only difference is that with NORMAL bridge players (as opposed to these GIBBO lunatics), it would be WEST with five and EAST with one!
Thus, it strongly looks as if I have (only) three guaranteed heart tricks: the jack that I just took, plus my remaining high ace and king. I also have three top spade tricks (my ace and dummy's KQ). That brings me up to SIX of the seven that I need. An obvious possibility for the necessary seventh trick is another spade. That's certainly something that COULD happen, but what would it require?
Well, I would have a fourth spade trick (and therefore my required seventh quick trick overall)...if enemy spades broke 3-3. But is that likely? Probably not, given that I'm assuming from the play to trick one that hearts are 5-1. So, is there any other layout where I can take four quick spade tricks (since I'm assuming they are not 3-3)? Yes, there is...but ONLY one! The ONLY other layout is if one of the opponents has specifically a stiff jack. If that's the case, I can cash my spade ace (dropping the hoped-for stiff enemy jack), then cash my 10 (which would now be higher than all four remaining enemy spades), and then cash dummy's remaining KQ. Presto: My required 7 tricks, via 3 hearts and 4 spades.
BUT...notwithstanding that I'm playing on the assumption that enemy hearts are 5-1, a (second) 5-1 split is still heavily against the odds (EVEN on BBO, where 5-1 and 5-0 splits seem to occur far more frequently than in "real" F2F bridge). Furthermore, I would not only need a 5-1 split (against the odds to begin with), but it would have to be a SPECIFIC 5-1 with the one being SPECIFICALLY the jack. I'm not a trained mathematician, but it's not too hard to see that such a specific layout is HUGELY against the odds.
Why must it be a STIFF jack? Why not a doubleton? Looking at the actual hand provides a perfect example (of MANY possible perfect examples) of the answer. The jack actually IS doubleton on this hand. I could cash two high spades, dropping East's doubleton jack, and my 10 would indeed be high...but I could NOT take four spade tricks, because I would not have the communication. Having cashed my ace and one of dummy's KQ to drop the doubleton jack, I could now cash my 10, and dummy's remaining high honour would indeed be high, but I could not reach it, as dummy would have no entry. And if I OVERTOOK my 10 with dummy's remaining high honour, dummy's FINAL spade (the 5 or 4) would be lower than WEST'S final spade (the 8, 7, or 6).
I could try cashing my ace, praying that the jack was stiff, and if it was, I'd be a hero. But if it wasn't, which would be FAR more likely, I would have exposed my values to the opponents, and even THEY would probably defend properly after that, armed with the knowledge of 12 of my HCP (AKJ of hearts and ace of spades) AND having seen what I was trying to do.
So ultimately, I decided that both LEGITIMATE shots at four spade tricks (a 3-3 spade split or a stiff jack of spades) were very unlikely. Then I said to myself, "I'm playing against two of the worst 'defenders' of ALL time, so I think I'll have some fun, do some experimenting, and play for a SWINDLE of these hopeless C.R.E.T.I.N.S."
Therefore, at trick TWO, before they could know anything else about my hand apart from what had occurred at trick one, I led...my four of CLUBS (!) from my holding of 954 (!) towards dummy's 1062! West, with AQJ83, popped his jack. I called for dummy's 2, and East naively played his 7 from K7 dub.
At trick three, West...shifted to a spade!!!!!!! Mission accomplished! WHATEVER the spade position was, and WHOEVER had the spade jack, I now had a GUARANTEED four spade tricks and a GUARANTEED seven tricks in all, wrapping up my required seven to make 1NT and get the plus 90 i was looking for.
I doubt that this experiment would have worked on ANY decent player (for starters, a DECENT player would not have led his stiff 4 of hearts!), but it was no surprise to me AT ALL that it worked on these braindead GIBBO yokels.
Note that I took seven tricks and they took six...BUT...a DECENT East-West pair could have taken the first EIGHT tricks without difficulty, and even HERE, when I made my "swindle play" at trick two, they could still have taken the same eight tricks (five clubs, three diamonds...and maybe even a FOURTH diamond if I desperately popped my queen on a low diamond play by East). I was banking on my knowledge of how EXTRAORDINARILLY atrocious the GIBBO robots are, and - sure enough - they lived DOWN to their wretched reputation. And if my experiment had failed ? Well, I very likely would have had a rock solid bottom, since I always COULD have cashed out for down (only) one. But if that happened, big deal. It's not as if I was playing in the final of the Spingold - it was just a silly little game with three useless GIBBO robots, and I'd have an interesting story to tell anyway. Obviously, some of my experiments DO fail, but most succeed, and even the ones that DO fail provide amusement.
https://www.bridgeba...DK%7Cpc%7CCT%7C
#2767
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Posted 2026-September-25, 14:44
I made an overtrick in 2S (in the FOUR-TWO "fit"!) and scored 92.31 % on the board, so it turned out fine, BUT...that was a truly AMAZING pass of 2S by North, and (regardless of the result) NOT "amazing" in a GOOD way. These GIBBO robots are wackos.
https://www.bridgeba...CS9%7Cmc%7C9%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CS9%7Cmc%7C9%7C
#2768
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Posted 2026-September-25, 15:01
We scored 80 % for "only" going down two in 1NT. The contract was played 20 times in 1NT by either North or South. It went down two at seven tables, including mine. It went down three at seven other tables, down four at five tables, and down five at one table.
There was only one table where NS did not declare 1NT. There, the NS pair defended 2D, which made an overtrick, but that was only minus 110, so that NS pair scored 100 % since we were vulnerable and our down two was therefore minus 200.
West actually made a very effective lead (alert the press!), but the question is: WHY did he make that very effective lead? Although it HAPPENED to work out well for him, it was an abnormal, bizarre, and potentially very dangerous lead...all TYPICAL characteristics of the leads these GIBBO misfits LOVE to make.
https://www.bridgeba...CH7%7Cmc%7C5%7C
There was only one table where NS did not declare 1NT. There, the NS pair defended 2D, which made an overtrick, but that was only minus 110, so that NS pair scored 100 % since we were vulnerable and our down two was therefore minus 200.
West actually made a very effective lead (alert the press!), but the question is: WHY did he make that very effective lead? Although it HAPPENED to work out well for him, it was an abnormal, bizarre, and potentially very dangerous lead...all TYPICAL characteristics of the leads these GIBBO misfits LOVE to make.
https://www.bridgeba...CH7%7Cmc%7C5%7C
#2769
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Posted 2026-September-25, 15:08
I took a mini-flyer by bidding 3NT on my Q8 dub of spades. Luckily for me, I had a braindead GIBBO robot on lead and the M.O.R.O.N. couldn't figure out that it might be wise to lead the ONLY unbid suit.
https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cpc%7CS9%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cpc%7CS9%7C
#2770
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Posted 2026-September-25, 15:14
Why is Superstooge in the West leading a spade of all things - especially when he has FIVE (!) trumps (hearts)? A decent defender would be leading a minor, hoping to force me and thereby establish long trumps for himself. GIBBO "defenders" are, of course, too overwhelmingly stupid to understand that obvious, common strategy. GIB/GIBBO is garbage of the worst kind.
https://www.bridgeba...DK%7Cmc%7C11%7C
https://www.bridgeba...DK%7Cmc%7C11%7C
#2771
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Posted 2026-September-25, 15:30
North's first pass is normal. His second is not. It would seem normal to bid 3S over West's 3H.
His next call (after South makes a second takeout double) is debatable. His choice of 3NT could sometimes be "right", but it could also easily be "right" to bid spades - especially since he strangely failed to do so after South's first double.
BTW, I think that the GIB definitions of BOTH of South's doubles are as pathetic as usual. I see NO reason why South cannot have five spades for EITHER of his doubles.
The definition of 3NT is also the usual trash you see in GIB definitions, and it illustrates for the Nth time that the creator of these hopeless GIB definitions has no idea whatsoever about "total" points. If he was going to the trouble of writing definitions, maybe he should have done some research and tried a little harder to write GOOD definitions rather than the consistent nonsense that GIB definitions are.
https://www.bridgeba...C4%7Cmc%7C10%7C
His next call (after South makes a second takeout double) is debatable. His choice of 3NT could sometimes be "right", but it could also easily be "right" to bid spades - especially since he strangely failed to do so after South's first double.
BTW, I think that the GIB definitions of BOTH of South's doubles are as pathetic as usual. I see NO reason why South cannot have five spades for EITHER of his doubles.
The definition of 3NT is also the usual trash you see in GIB definitions, and it illustrates for the Nth time that the creator of these hopeless GIB definitions has no idea whatsoever about "total" points. If he was going to the trouble of writing definitions, maybe he should have done some research and tried a little harder to write GOOD definitions rather than the consistent nonsense that GIB definitions are.
https://www.bridgeba...C4%7Cmc%7C10%7C
#2772
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Posted 2026-September-25, 15:36
I score FOUR (!) spade tricks with AQ42 opposite stiff king, after the perpetually clueless GIBBO numbskull in the West stupidly pitches too many spades. Why are these hopeless GIBBO robots not buried in a landfill or submerged at the bottom of the sea? Guess what: In 2026, DECENT robots DO exist, so why are these useless GIBBO monstrosities still employed here?
https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cpc%7CDQ%7C
https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cpc%7CDQ%7C
#2773
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Posted 2026-September-25, 16:23
The philosophy of GIBBO robots when "defending" against 3NT:
1. East leads a spade...into declarer North, who initially responded one spade and who has promised 10-11 HCP.
2. East decides that it's wise to lead his 3 of spades, from QJ932, into the spade bidder. Perhaps he regrets his choice of the 3 when he sees the stiff 10 in South's dummy. Perhaps he regrets it more when that stiff 10 wins trick one.
3. At trick two, declarer leads dummy's heart 8 (from K87) towards his queen. East wins his ace and...of COURSE...immediately fires back the 3 of hearts...because these intellectual wizards ALWAYS think it's a BRILLIANT idea to return the suit DECLARER is playing. News flash to GIBBO: It is usually NOT!
4. Given that East stupidly returns a heart, it would be nice if he could at least return the correct heart, but of course such a TRULY difficult play (ha, ha) is WAY too tough for him. Note that a chimpanzee would have had a 50 % chance of returning the proper heart.
5. At trick four, North calls for dummy's 2 of diamonds from AK962. "Defender" West decides that he MUST play second hand HIGH (something he perhaps learned from his immediate predecessors, the TRULY execrable GIB robots).
6. West wins with his jack of diamonds, and we see why he felt that it was so very URGENT to pop the knave: It was because he DESPERATELY wanted to play another...HEART...the suit that DECLARER initially played.
7. Declarer takes eleven tricks. East-West most definitely do NOT get a good score. They are left shaking their heads and wondering why, since THEY think they "defended" PERFECTLY.
8. Moral: GIB/GIBBO robots are the worst and most hopeless "defenders" that I have ever seen.
https://www.bridgeba...D4%7Cmc%7C11%7C
1. East leads a spade...into declarer North, who initially responded one spade and who has promised 10-11 HCP.
2. East decides that it's wise to lead his 3 of spades, from QJ932, into the spade bidder. Perhaps he regrets his choice of the 3 when he sees the stiff 10 in South's dummy. Perhaps he regrets it more when that stiff 10 wins trick one.
3. At trick two, declarer leads dummy's heart 8 (from K87) towards his queen. East wins his ace and...of COURSE...immediately fires back the 3 of hearts...because these intellectual wizards ALWAYS think it's a BRILLIANT idea to return the suit DECLARER is playing. News flash to GIBBO: It is usually NOT!
4. Given that East stupidly returns a heart, it would be nice if he could at least return the correct heart, but of course such a TRULY difficult play (ha, ha) is WAY too tough for him. Note that a chimpanzee would have had a 50 % chance of returning the proper heart.
5. At trick four, North calls for dummy's 2 of diamonds from AK962. "Defender" West decides that he MUST play second hand HIGH (something he perhaps learned from his immediate predecessors, the TRULY execrable GIB robots).
6. West wins with his jack of diamonds, and we see why he felt that it was so very URGENT to pop the knave: It was because he DESPERATELY wanted to play another...HEART...the suit that DECLARER initially played.
7. Declarer takes eleven tricks. East-West most definitely do NOT get a good score. They are left shaking their heads and wondering why, since THEY think they "defended" PERFECTLY.
8. Moral: GIB/GIBBO robots are the worst and most hopeless "defenders" that I have ever seen.
https://www.bridgeba...D4%7Cmc%7C11%7C
#2774
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Posted 2026-September-25, 16:38
North's auction is bizarre. In the GIBBO system, is there not a way for him to show...DUH...diamonds?
And...if he feels COMPELLED to keep his DIAMONDS as a personal secret and feels that he MUST bid no trump, surely his hand has a good enough source of tricks with his long, strong, uh...DIAMONDS (!) that he should be bidding THREE no trump rather than two. His hand does NOT look like one where it might be right to stop at precisely TWO if pard rejects the invitation...because with that trick source in...DUH...DIAMONDS, he will probably EITHER be making a game...OR not even making TWO no trump (given his potentially dangerous stiff club).
One hand never proves anything by itself, but note that in practice, on this random hand and this random layout, 3NT would go DOWN TWO on a club lead (or on a less likely ace of hearts lead followed by a heart shift) but that it is COLD on a spade or diamond lead (as well as on any heart lead other than the ace).
https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CHK%7C
And...if he feels COMPELLED to keep his DIAMONDS as a personal secret and feels that he MUST bid no trump, surely his hand has a good enough source of tricks with his long, strong, uh...DIAMONDS (!) that he should be bidding THREE no trump rather than two. His hand does NOT look like one where it might be right to stop at precisely TWO if pard rejects the invitation...because with that trick source in...DUH...DIAMONDS, he will probably EITHER be making a game...OR not even making TWO no trump (given his potentially dangerous stiff club).
One hand never proves anything by itself, but note that in practice, on this random hand and this random layout, 3NT would go DOWN TWO on a club lead (or on a less likely ace of hearts lead followed by a heart shift) but that it is COLD on a spade or diamond lead (as well as on any heart lead other than the ace).
https://www.bridgeba...CT%7Cpc%7CHK%7C
#2775
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Posted 2026-September-25, 17:11
This hand is not from my table, but I'm posting it as one of the unending examples showing how absolutely useless and rotten the GIB definitions are. They are consistently nothing but garbage.
The human South decides to double West's 3NT, undoubtedly expecting that it shows a desire for a heart lead from his partner North.
North actually DOES lead his stiff heart 4, so more power to him for that, but did the robot KNOW what he was doing, or did he just randomly and accidentally STUMBLE into the heart lead?
I ask because of the repellent, 100 percent USELESS piece of GARBAGE that is the typically pathetic GIB definition of South's double. This is the piece of GIB trash in its entirety: "20- total points". That's IT, that's ALL! Why did the author of this FABULOUSLY useless piece of garbage even bother writing it? It says absolutely NOTHING.
It doesn't say to lead specifically a club, diamond, heart, or spade. It doesn't say to NOT lead specifically a club, diamond, heart, or spade. It doesn't say to lead a minor. It doesn't say to lead a major. It doesn't say to lead a black suit. It doesn't say to lead a red suit. It doesn't say to lead a long suit. It doesn't say to lead a short suit. It doesn't provide ANY guidance at ALL on what to lead.
Okay then, is it saying, "Don't worry, partner. This is a penalty double. I'm confident we're beating them no matter what you lead"? NO...it's NOT. It makes no indication whatsoever of whether it's a penalty double or anything else.
LUDICROUSLY, the ONLY thing it says is that the doubler has "20- total points", which is COMPLETELY useless, because "20-" literally means zero to twenty! So, he COULD have 20 points...or he COULD have ZERO...or he COULD have ANYTHING in between. Furthermore, it's not EVEN a mention of 0-20 HIGH-card points...but LUDICROUSLY it states that they are "total" points. What the HELL would "total" points have to do with this, since South is a DEFENDER and he and his partner have not diagnosed any partnership fit? They have both been totally silent throughout the auction until this double. This definition, all by itself, confirms what we have known for ages: namely that GIB lacks even a BASIC understanding of "total" points.
Just consider: Once upon a time, someone somewhere probably spent a LOT of time writing the numerous GIB definitions. Why did he even bother, considering that SO many of them are nothing but useless garbage? Alternately, if he was WILLING to devote all that time to his task, why would he not want to go whole hog and actually do a GOOD job of composing the definitions? As Grace Slick once sang, " Either go away...or go ALL the way". In other words, do things properly, or don't bother doing them at all.
https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cmc%7C10%7C
The human South decides to double West's 3NT, undoubtedly expecting that it shows a desire for a heart lead from his partner North.
North actually DOES lead his stiff heart 4, so more power to him for that, but did the robot KNOW what he was doing, or did he just randomly and accidentally STUMBLE into the heart lead?
I ask because of the repellent, 100 percent USELESS piece of GARBAGE that is the typically pathetic GIB definition of South's double. This is the piece of GIB trash in its entirety: "20- total points". That's IT, that's ALL! Why did the author of this FABULOUSLY useless piece of garbage even bother writing it? It says absolutely NOTHING.
It doesn't say to lead specifically a club, diamond, heart, or spade. It doesn't say to NOT lead specifically a club, diamond, heart, or spade. It doesn't say to lead a minor. It doesn't say to lead a major. It doesn't say to lead a black suit. It doesn't say to lead a red suit. It doesn't say to lead a long suit. It doesn't say to lead a short suit. It doesn't provide ANY guidance at ALL on what to lead.
Okay then, is it saying, "Don't worry, partner. This is a penalty double. I'm confident we're beating them no matter what you lead"? NO...it's NOT. It makes no indication whatsoever of whether it's a penalty double or anything else.
LUDICROUSLY, the ONLY thing it says is that the doubler has "20- total points", which is COMPLETELY useless, because "20-" literally means zero to twenty! So, he COULD have 20 points...or he COULD have ZERO...or he COULD have ANYTHING in between. Furthermore, it's not EVEN a mention of 0-20 HIGH-card points...but LUDICROUSLY it states that they are "total" points. What the HELL would "total" points have to do with this, since South is a DEFENDER and he and his partner have not diagnosed any partnership fit? They have both been totally silent throughout the auction until this double. This definition, all by itself, confirms what we have known for ages: namely that GIB lacks even a BASIC understanding of "total" points.
Just consider: Once upon a time, someone somewhere probably spent a LOT of time writing the numerous GIB definitions. Why did he even bother, considering that SO many of them are nothing but useless garbage? Alternately, if he was WILLING to devote all that time to his task, why would he not want to go whole hog and actually do a GOOD job of composing the definitions? As Grace Slick once sang, " Either go away...or go ALL the way". In other words, do things properly, or don't bother doing them at all.
https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cmc%7C10%7C
#2776
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,831
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted 2026-September-25, 17:42
Why the HELL is North...PASSING (!) West's double of 2D when he (North) has the lowly 62 doubleton of diamonds (!!!),,,and ALSO has...ELEVEN HCP...with FIVE spades and FOUR hearts? These GIBBO pieces of trash play Smolen. If West had passed rather than doubling, I'm confident that North would have bid a Smolen 3H over South's 2D response to Stayman. Why the HELL wouldn't the M.O.R.O.N. do exactly the same thing with this hand over West's double?
THEN...for further hilarity, look at the absolutely INSANE definition of North's later 3S bid. As we know, GIB definitions are almost always pure, unadulterated garbage, and that description applies perfectly here.
THIS is the piece of trash definition that GIB provides for North's 3S call:
"5+ diamonds". Five plus DIAMONDS? Really, Mr. GIB? Perhaps if North had 5+ DIAMONDS, he might have redoubled West's double of 2D...and perhaps he would not now be JUMPING to three SPADES! And, as we know, Mr. GIB, the "5+ diamonds" that you claim his bid shows are actually the 62 doubleton!
"4+ spades". Well, unless he's bidding SMOLEN (which he SHOULD be doing, but is NOT doing), why would he JUMP to THREE spades if he had only FOUR of them...especially when his partner South is known to have ONLY two or three?
"7- HCP". This literally means zero to 7 HCP. Why on EARTH would he be JUMPING to the THREE level with ZERO points? But never mind that - why on EARTH would he be JUMPING to the THREE level EVEN if he had his presumed MAXIMUM (according to this laughably bad GIB definition) of SEVEN points?
"9+ total points". Huh? What? At least this time GIB realizes that "total" points CAN be more than HCP (something it USUALLY gets completely backwards), but where the HELL are all these "total" points coming from...considering that he supposedly could have ZERO high-card points, supposedly has at MOST seven high-card points, and...North-South have not even found a fit (!!!)?
"Forcing". WHAT? Why on EARTH would it be "forcing" if he has, as the definition claims, at MOST seven HCP?
This entire definition, like the one described in post # 2775 immediately above, and like SO many GIB definitions, is nothing but a pile of the worst garbage the world has ever seen. I'll ask a question that I've often asked before: Did the author of these atrocious, userless, laughable, pathetic GIB definitions actually think he was providing a service by writing them? Did he actually think he was doing a good job? Did he actually take pride in his work?
https://www.bridgeba...D4%7Cmc%7C11%7C
THEN...for further hilarity, look at the absolutely INSANE definition of North's later 3S bid. As we know, GIB definitions are almost always pure, unadulterated garbage, and that description applies perfectly here.
THIS is the piece of trash definition that GIB provides for North's 3S call:
"5+ diamonds". Five plus DIAMONDS? Really, Mr. GIB? Perhaps if North had 5+ DIAMONDS, he might have redoubled West's double of 2D...and perhaps he would not now be JUMPING to three SPADES! And, as we know, Mr. GIB, the "5+ diamonds" that you claim his bid shows are actually the 62 doubleton!
"4+ spades". Well, unless he's bidding SMOLEN (which he SHOULD be doing, but is NOT doing), why would he JUMP to THREE spades if he had only FOUR of them...especially when his partner South is known to have ONLY two or three?
"7- HCP". This literally means zero to 7 HCP. Why on EARTH would he be JUMPING to the THREE level with ZERO points? But never mind that - why on EARTH would he be JUMPING to the THREE level EVEN if he had his presumed MAXIMUM (according to this laughably bad GIB definition) of SEVEN points?
"9+ total points". Huh? What? At least this time GIB realizes that "total" points CAN be more than HCP (something it USUALLY gets completely backwards), but where the HELL are all these "total" points coming from...considering that he supposedly could have ZERO high-card points, supposedly has at MOST seven high-card points, and...North-South have not even found a fit (!!!)?
"Forcing". WHAT? Why on EARTH would it be "forcing" if he has, as the definition claims, at MOST seven HCP?
This entire definition, like the one described in post # 2775 immediately above, and like SO many GIB definitions, is nothing but a pile of the worst garbage the world has ever seen. I'll ask a question that I've often asked before: Did the author of these atrocious, userless, laughable, pathetic GIB definitions actually think he was providing a service by writing them? Did he actually think he was doing a good job? Did he actually take pride in his work?
https://www.bridgeba...D4%7Cmc%7C11%7C
#2777
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,831
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted 2026-September-25, 18:02
East incorrectly plays the 10 of spades at trick one instead of correctly playing the 9 from his 1095 tripleton. Oh yes, it's SUCH a difficult play...at least for these totally useless GIBBO bozos, the worst "bridge players" of all time (as they prove hand after hand, day after day).
At trick two, the GIBBO jerk in the West pops his club king. WHY? Well, our question is answered right away! He pops his club at trick two so that he can...IMMEDIATELY play ANOTHER club at trick three, because oh yes, it MUST be right to continue the SAME suit that DECLARER wants to play. I.D.I.O.T.!
Seriously, what do these GIBBO imbeciles eat for breakfast each day? Are they gobbling up stupidity pills by the bowlful, or are they ingesting massive doses of LSD?
https://www.bridgeba...DQ%7Cpc%7CH9%7C
At trick two, the GIBBO jerk in the West pops his club king. WHY? Well, our question is answered right away! He pops his club at trick two so that he can...IMMEDIATELY play ANOTHER club at trick three, because oh yes, it MUST be right to continue the SAME suit that DECLARER wants to play. I.D.I.O.T.!
Seriously, what do these GIBBO imbeciles eat for breakfast each day? Are they gobbling up stupidity pills by the bowlful, or are they ingesting massive doses of LSD?
https://www.bridgeba...DQ%7Cpc%7CH9%7C
#2778
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,831
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 03:01
West's 3C "Aggressive (ha, HA, HA!) weak jump overcall" - with his 0-1-5-7 (!!!) shape and his virtually SOLID clubs is not what I would call "aggressive". It is, however, what I would call "STUPID". No surprise that these East-West GIBBO M.O.R.O.N.S. missed cold slams in both clubs and diamonds.
But I don't want to seem negative, so I will thank Mr. GIB for his wonderful definition of 4S, where he made CERTAIN to point out that the bid was a "free jump raise". I guess otherwise no one would EVER have figured out that the call was:
1. "Free" (meaning not fprced)
2. A jump. Golly gee, how did Mr. GIB work out that a bid of FOUR spades over West's THREE clubs was a...wait for it...jump? Golly gee, that Mr. GIB is SO smart, isn't he?
3. A raise. Okay, now let me get this straight, because THIS one is SUPER complicated. Are you trying to tell us, Mr. GIB, that if one partner OPENS a suit and the other partner later BIDS that same suit, it's something called a "raise"? By gosh, Mr. GIB, we learn SO much EVERY day because of this oh-so-valuable information you provide that no one on EARTH would otherwise EVER be able to figure out.
Golly gee, Mr. GIB, your definitions are TRULY the best. You DEFINE things as "well" as your robots play!
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/ms8pn29z
But I don't want to seem negative, so I will thank Mr. GIB for his wonderful definition of 4S, where he made CERTAIN to point out that the bid was a "free jump raise". I guess otherwise no one would EVER have figured out that the call was:
1. "Free" (meaning not fprced)
2. A jump. Golly gee, how did Mr. GIB work out that a bid of FOUR spades over West's THREE clubs was a...wait for it...jump? Golly gee, that Mr. GIB is SO smart, isn't he?
3. A raise. Okay, now let me get this straight, because THIS one is SUPER complicated. Are you trying to tell us, Mr. GIB, that if one partner OPENS a suit and the other partner later BIDS that same suit, it's something called a "raise"? By gosh, Mr. GIB, we learn SO much EVERY day because of this oh-so-valuable information you provide that no one on EARTH would otherwise EVER be able to figure out.
Golly gee, Mr. GIB, your definitions are TRULY the best. You DEFINE things as "well" as your robots play!
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/ms8pn29z
#2779
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,831
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 03:36
Instead of bidding 2C to show an unspecified single-suiter, the imbecilic GIBBO robot in the West stupidly decides that he MUST bid THREE hearts...red against white...over South's STRONG 1NT opening...with a hand as FLAT as it could POSSIBLY be (2-6-3-2) considering that he is showing at LEAST a six- card suit.
Given that the hand is being played on BBO, Land of Bad Splits, it's no surprise that one of his opponents has FIVE hearts. The ignorant GIBBO loser gets doubled and scores minus 200 on the board, all because he was too typically STUPID to bid 2C instead of 3H.
Why don't these GIBBO saps look into a mirror and say "Bridge is NOT the game for us GIBBO bozos. We're ALL too stupid to play it"?
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yeypctxu
Given that the hand is being played on BBO, Land of Bad Splits, it's no surprise that one of his opponents has FIVE hearts. The ignorant GIBBO loser gets doubled and scores minus 200 on the board, all because he was too typically STUPID to bid 2C instead of 3H.
Why don't these GIBBO saps look into a mirror and say "Bridge is NOT the game for us GIBBO bozos. We're ALL too stupid to play it"?
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yeypctxu
#2780
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,831
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 03:41
Truly BRILLIANT trump (spade) "finesse" at trick six by the absolutely hopeless GIBBO "declarer". These good-for-nothing simpletons can't even declare. They are the worst "bridge players" ever and stink at anything and everything related to the game.
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8vkt63
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8vkt63