Benellis58 GIB bashing on repeat Groundhog Day
#2381
Posted 2026-August-06, 23:25
Unscientific? Check.
Unilateral? Check?
Wasting FOUR levels of bidding space? Check.
Could EASILY be WRONG (as indeed it was)? Check.
Stands to gain NOTHING, EVEN if it magically and luckily turns out to be the right spot? Check.
It is, of COURSE, the famous FOUR-LEVEL LEAP to 6NT, one of the MANY "specialties" of the dreaded GIBBO robots that combine to make them such atrociously bad "bridge players".
https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cpc%7CD2%7C
#2382
Posted 2026-August-06, 23:44
I'm in third seat, white against red, with a FIVE-count. Odds are the VULNERABLE opponents have a game.
I open...2C! West passes. My "partner" North makes a very stupid bid of 2NT, but to be fair, the poor sap is merely doing what the absolutely WRETCHED GIBBO system of 2C responses insanely TELLS him is the "right" thing to do.
East passes. I pass. I said, "I PASS". I PASS..."pard's" response of 2NT, which GIB defines as showing "8-11 HCP". I do this after having opened TWO CLUBS (!) , which GIB defined as showing "19+ HCP" and "23+ total points"!
According to the GIB definitions, our North-South partnership has a combined total of at LEAST...TWENTY-SEVEN HCP (!)...even if we BOTH have our BARE MINIMUM.
West, in passout seat, obviously feels that there is nothing at ALL strange about this, as he...PASSES...with EIGHTEEN HCP in his OWN hand!
I go down...FIVE tricks...not vulnerable and not doubled. I end up minus 250 and score...92.31 % on the board. This tactic could ONLY succeed against an opponent as braindead as a GIBBO robot!
https://www.bridgeba...CH9%7Cmc%7C3%7C
#2383
Posted 2026-August-07, 00:21
But maybe the AUCTION tells him not to lead a club. That's certainly possible. Let's see:
South, West, and North all passed, and East opened one HEART in fourth seat. South passed again and West bid one SPADE. North passed again and East raised to two SPADES. All passed.
Nope, the auction gives North NO reason to avoid a club lead, so he leads...a HEART! The imbecile leads a HEART, the suit his LHO opened the bidding in! He KNOWS that his LHO has 5+ hears and 4+ spades, but he leads a HEART! Not only does he NOT lead the OBVIOUS club, but he doesn't even swing to a diamond. He INSISTS on leading the 6 of HEARTS from his worthless 64 doubleton. Yes, he IS a GIBBO robot.
Dummy East tables QJ76, AQJ93, A5, 105. Declarer West calls for dummy's 3. A disgusted South plays the 2 (not that it matters, because South knows that the GIBBO rejects treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals anyway) and declarer West wins his eight.
At trick two, declarer West leads his 4 of spades towards dummy's QJ76. North has THREE spades (trump) himself. He sees four in dummy. He KNOWS that declarer has at LEAST four. Okay, time for some basic arithmetic: North's three, plus East's four, plus West's MINIMUM of four add up to ELEVEN of the thirteen spades in the deck, so North KNOWS that his "partner" South has at MOST two spades. And he KNOWS that if West happens to have FIVE spsdes rather than only four, which is certainly possible, South will have only ONE spade.
North's three spades are the A92. He decides that he MUST...IMMEDIATELY...FLY UP with his spade ace. Perhaps he is TERRIFIED that if he doesn't take it RIGHT NOW, he might NEVER get it ( the ACE of TRUMPS)! Or perhaps he's desperately hoping to CRASH his "partner's" potentially STIFF KING OF SPADES (if West has five rather than four).
In other words, North is popping his TRUMP ace for absolutely NO reason and is making a play that can NEVER gain, a play that CAN lose BADLY on some layouts, and a play that can at BEST break even. In other words, a ZERO PERCENT PLAY, something at which the GIBBO robots EXCEL!
He of course wins trick two, as East and West both follow low, meaning that LUCKILY he did not crash "partner's" stiff king, as he WOULD have on some layouts. (HE actually came CLOSE, as SOUTH DID have the king of spades, but by pure CHANCE it was doubleton rather than singleton).
At trick three, THRILLED that he was able to score his...ACE OF TRUMPS...and that he won't have to fear NEVER scoring it, North now continues his KILLING "defence" by playing...a second round of hearts!
But PLEASE, o ye apologists for and defenders of the GIBBO robots, PLEASE remind me AGAIN of how they are "better than most human players".
https://www.bridgeba...D6%7Cpc%7CD4%7C
#2384
Posted 2026-August-07, 00:39
https://www.bridgeba...C6%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C
#2385
Posted 2026-August-07, 05:45
The GIBBO robot in question is Donald J. Dumbo, a well-known braggart. He BEAMS with pride at his glorious achievement. "You see," he says, "Hands like THAT are exactly why SO many people say that we GIBBO robots are 'better than most human players'. And although we are brilliant at EVERYTHING bridge-related, our biggest skill is our EXCELLENT declarer play, something at which I, your FAVOURITE GIBBO robot, am especially great. This is probably yet another top for us. BTW, I hope you all know that I won my club championship a few days ago, beating ALL the other GIBBO robots who showed up. They should rename the ACBL in my honour."
Dumbo tears open the scoresheet and sees that he got 14.29 % on the board...a shared bottom! "Fake news!" he screams. "Fake news! I demand an investigation! Someone will be sued and imprisoned for this outrage! It's IMPOSSIBLE that anyone declared better than I did!"
A bearded observer pipes up: "Not so fast, Dumbo! You should have taken TEN tricks. You didn't have to lose that club, you loudmouthed fool."
"What are you talking about?" asks an enraged Dumbo. "Of course I did! I led the club queen at trick three, North played the 3, I won my ace, and South played the 7. The KING was still out. I had to lose it! I HAD to, don't you see?"
"NO, Dumbo, I DON'T see. All you had to do, you cowardly simp, was to hook the king of clubs".
"Hook? What the Hell is a hook? Is that some of your Communist propaganda?"
The bearded fellow sighs and says, "No, Donnie, no. It's a finesse, It's something that I guess they failed to teach in GIBBO Bridge School".
https://www.bridgeba...CC2%7Cmc%7C9%7C
#2386
Posted 2026-August-07, 05:58
https://www.bridgeba...CCK%7Cmc%7C9%7C
#2387
Posted 2026-August-07, 06:23
He makes an invitational...PASSABLE (!) call of 3C in response to his "partner's" 1S opening bid. When South accepts the...PASSABLE (!)...invitation...and bids the 5C game, Balboa NOW...RAISES (!!!) to SIX clubs!
I think Balboa entered one too many boxing rings since the mid-seventies and perhaps ended up with dementia pugilistica!
It's quite evident that South had two options:
1. REJECT the invitation, PASS 3C, and MISS the COLD game.
2. Make the CORRECT decision, BID the COLD game, and watch GIBBO robot Balboa bid AGAIN (after starting out with a call that might have been PASSED and ENDED THE AUCTION at the THREE level!)...and turn a PLUS into a MINUS...one of the MANY "specialties" of the disgustingly incompetent GIBBO robots.
Perhaps Balboa's next big screen adventure will be titled "Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't...in the BIZARRO WORLD of GIBBO Robots". Sounds like a blockbuster - maybe a future Oscar winner!
https://www.bridgeba...HK%7Cmc%7C11%7C
#2388
Posted 2026-August-07, 06:44
North's 4NT is a typically INSANE call by a typically demented GIBBO robot. His subsequent LEAP to SIX diamonds is further proof that he requires immediate CARE!
https://www.bridgeba...CSQ%7Cmc%7C9%7C
#2389
Posted 2026-August-07, 07:02
https://www.bridgeba...S9%7Cpc%7CC8%7C
#2390
Posted 2026-August-07, 07:11
GIB/GIBBO is the worst, the absolute WORST. The pits. Garbage. Lowest of the low. An embarrassment to bridge. A wart on the face of the game.
https://www.bridgeba...S5%7Cmc%7C11%7C
#2393
Posted 2026-August-08, 23:47
These clowns are hopeless, as they prove time after time after time after...repeat FOREVER on ENDLESS loop...
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8628v6
#2394
Posted 2026-August-09, 00:05
Dummy West tables 1095, VOID (in Hearts, trump), 97643, KQJ97.
"Defender" North has K742, J1082, 5, 8632. It's his turn to play.
Fortunately the rules say that he MUST play a SPADE. I say "fortunately" because North is a GIBBO robot, so if the rules didn't FORCE him to play a spade, he is, as a GIBBO robot, so gloriously, insufferably, COMPLETELY stupid that he would probably PURPOSELY play another suit.
But because he's FORCED to play a spade, he now has what is obviously a SUPER-difficult decision for someone as completely M.O.R..O.N.I.C. as he is:
WHICH spade should he play when he follows to South's ace: his king, 7, 4, or 2?
The GIBBO robots (supposedly) play STANDARD signals, NOT upside down.
The ignorant jerk plays his ...DEUCE. Notice that whether he is intending to show count OR attitude, he is WRONG in BOTH cases.
Fortunately the human South has LONG been aware that GIBBO robots are complete, total garbage and that they are among the worst "bridge players" of all time. He knows that it is usually RIGHT to assume that his stinking GIBBO "partner" is doing the WRONG thing, so he continues spades anyway.
WHY are these useless GIBBO pieces of junk still polluting BBO with their presence? Why have they not been replaced by robots that have at least SOME idea of how to play bridge?
https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/4bvyhvam
#2397
Posted 2026-August-09, 11:55
But North's bidding is, as usual, at BEST very questionable. In an uninterrupted auction, South opens 1C and North responds 1H with AJ95, KJ106, A8, Q108. South rebids 2C.
North bids 2D. Why? GIB defines it as "New suit". GROAN! Do we REALLY need to be told that this is a "new suit"? Typically annoying, useless, and insulting GIB garbage. Anyway, the definition continues "3+ diamonds; 4+ hearts; 12+ total points; forcing to 3NT" - all of which is fine, EXCEPT for what is perhaps the KEY piece of (FALSE!) information being proclaimed...because North does not have "3+ diamonds". He has only two. Perhaps he chose this call to save space, rather than bidding a normal 2S, since he knew that South could not have four spades. Okay, I can almost sympathize, but the problem is that he is misdescribing his hand to his "partner"...in the early stages of an uninterrupted (!) auction. Why? How will this help?
South raises to 3D and North bids 3S, VERY strangely and TOTALLY illogically defined by GIB as "3+ diamonds; 4+ hearts; 4+ spades; 12+ total points; forcing". Except for the repeated LIE about "3+ diamonds", this is actually a reasonable picture of North's hand. HOWEVER, with only "3+ diamonds", but "FOUR (!) plus SPADES", why the HELL would North not have bid two SPADES over South's 2C? So, even forgetting about the fact that North has now twice LIED about his diamond length, it appears that GIB (illogically and perversely) actually RECOMMENDS first bidding DIAMONDS with as few as three cards and only LATER bidding spades with four (!) or even more! Did GIB design its bidding system in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco in 1967 right after attending a Grateful Dead concert?
South bids 3NT...and North now makes a TYPICALLY unscientific, unilateral JUMP to the SIX level by bidding 6C! He LUCKS out because South has the "right" stuff, but note that ALL South had promised, up to and including his 3NT bid, was an opening hand (which could have been based on as few as 11 HCP), 6 or more clubs, and 4 diamonds. I say that despite GIB's IMBECILIC definition of 3NT, which claims that it shows exactly "15 HCP". By chance, and by PURE COINCIDENCE, South does have exactly 15 HCP, but why the HELL does he have to? He had to bid SOMETHING over North's 3S, and he might have bid 3NT even if he had a mere ELEVEN (!) HCP!
https://www.bridgeba...HA%7Cmc%7C12%7C
#2398
Posted 2026-August-09, 17:04
North obviously prefers diamonds to clubs. North obviously feels that diamonds will be a better spot for the NS partnership than clubs.
Fair enough. Makes perfect sense...or...that is...it WOULD make perfect sense if North did not have FIVE (!) CLUBS (!) and (only) THREE (!) diamonds!
Typical GIBBO "logic"! These clowns would be BIZARRE...even on BIZARRO WORLD! They are not only the lowest of the low and the worst of the worst - they are also the STRANGEST of the STRANGE!
https://www.bridgeba...SQ%7Cpc%7CC7%7C
#2399
Posted 2026-August-09, 17:16
Glad you asked. We're in it because GIBBO has no idea about how to bid, and stupidly leaps to 4S over his "partner's" 1S opening, red against white, on his flat 5-3-3-2 eight-count. What total I.D.I.O.T.S. "Ginsberg's 'Intelligent' (!!!!!!) Bridgeplayers" (sic!) are!
GIBBO robot talking to himself: "Golly gee, uh huh, my partner, like he, uh, ya know, opened like, uh, golly gee, one spade, ya see, and I, uh, like, uh, I had, ya know, like, uh, FIVE of them suckers, uh huh, uh huh, so I, uh, ya know, just like, uh, HAD to bid four, like - ya know? Like golly gee, man, like, uh, what ELSE could I, like, uh, have done?"
https://www.bridgeba...CD7%7Cmc%7C9%7C
#2400
Posted 2026-August-09, 17:20
https://www.bridgeba...D6%7Cpc%7CD7%7C

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