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Benellis58 GIB bashing on repeat Groundhog Day

#2481 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Yesterday, 03:50

At least we got a fairly average score of 51.79 % for going down "only" three tricks in 4C, but what a MAGNIFICENTLY STUPID bid of 3D North made...red against white (!)...on his flattish pile of trash. Card after card, bid after bid, these GIBBO bozos constantly prove that they are the GARBAGE of the bridge world and easily among the absolutely worst "bridge players" of all time. They stink.

https://www.bridgeba...CS6%7Cmc%7C7%7C
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#2482 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Yesterday, 04:16

I'm not impressed by North's foolish, likely anti-positional 2NT bid with 4-4 in the minors and no true stopper in either major, but fortunately we made the contract, thanks in no small part to a typically wretched "defence" by the hopeless GIBBO robots sitting East-West.

East leads a normal heart. West wins his ace and actually returns the suit! Bravo! Contact the press AGAIN, because these ignorant all-time losers usually HATE to return "partner's" suit.

But let's not overpraise the simpleton sitting West. He returns a heart, fine, but he knows SO little about bridge that he can't even return the correct heart. The dumb bozo plays the 5 instead of the 2, because these imbeciles are too unfailingly stupid to differentiate between spot cards.

At trick two, declarer North perforce wins dummy South's now-stiff heart king. He then calls for dummy's diamond 2. West plays the 8 (the EIGHT, please note, NOT the SEVEN!) from his holding of J87. This WINS the trick, as declarer North follows with the 3 from his unexposed AK43 and East plays the 6.

West of course now plays a third round of hearts and...HOLD IT right there! Stop the bus! Because...West does NOT make the OBVIOUS play of a third round of hearts (a play that even a raw beginner would know to make!). The INCREDIBLY stupid M.O.R.O.N. plays a...DIAMOND! Typically, he does NOT play the suit his "partner" led, the suit that HE himself continued, because he MUCH prefers to play the suit that DECLARER just played! Never mind just BRIDGE - I have never seen the STAGGERING stupidity CONSTANTLY exhibited by these GIBBO dweebs ANYWHERE!

Not surprisingly, this is yet ANOTHER total ZERO that these GIBBO jackasses can add to their world-famous, UNTOUCHABLE collection of lifetime failures.

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cpc%7CS7%7C
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#2483 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Yesterday, 04:25

East-West are ice cold for ELEVEN tricks in spades, but neither ever bids, and they SELL OUT to South's 1NT opening bid.

Just LOOK at East's hand: K107643, A, A7, J874! He's in passout seat, NOBODY VUL, and he can't scrape up a bid????!!!

EVERYTHING these repugnant, sickening GIBBO clowns do PROVES that they are among the absolutely WORST "bridge players" EVER!

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#2484 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Yesterday, 04:33

Typically stupid OVERBID of 3NT by the GIBBO piece of dirt in the West. The M.O.R.O.N. doesn't even follow his own GIB definition, which (in typically pathetic GIB fashion) states that 3NT shows "13-20 HCP". 13 to...excuse me while I pause five minutes to laugh uproariously...TWENTY? The dimwit has...ELEVEN!

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#2485 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Yesterday, 05:20

By now, I think everyone knows that GIB definitions are pure, unadulterated drivel of the worst sort. They are poorly worded. They often contain needless, insulting nonsense such as "invitational to 3NT game", "minor-suit opening", "one over one", "opener rebids suit".and other TOTALLY useless bilge of that type, while...at the same time (!), they often FAIL to describe the KEY point of a bid! They are often incorrect, redundant, incomplete, and illogical. In short, they are drivel.

But I think that in a game I played yesterday, I saw the crème de la crème (!) of GIB drivel, and here it is:

North's 4D is defined as...wait for it...drum roll, please..."Splinter - 4+ diamonds (!!!!!!!!!!!); 10-12 HCP; forcing to 5D"!


So, Mr. GIB, just to make sure I understand, North is SPLINTERING in DIAMONDS, meaning that he is showing SHORTNESS in DIAMONDS, either a VOID or a SINGLETON in DIAMONDS...yet IMMEDIATELY after that (yes, IMMEDIATELY!)...in the SAME definition, he is telling us that he has at LEAST ...FOUR diamonds, and possibly as many as THIRTEEN (theoretically, anyway) since the typically lazy "4+" literally means at least four, with no defined upper limit.

Just stop to consider, dear readers, that someone actually took the time to write this obviously completely contradictory piece of GARBAGE! And, dear readers, please also stop to consider that this OBVIOUS huge error has NEVER been corrected! That tells you all you need to know about how "good" GIB/GIBBO is, and about how "diligent" the proofreading, verification, and upkeep have been.

I think that this definition ALONE...all by itself...shows why I have so often stated that not only are the GIB definitions the absolutely worst that I have EVER seen in regards to bridge, but that they are also the absolutely worst definitions I have ever seen ANYWHERE in ANY realm. I have never seen such complete sloppiness and TOTAL lack of care for ANY definition ANYWHERE else.

GIB/GIBBO is an absolute joke and a complete travesty. It is the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low. GIB/GIBBO rots.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually scored 60 % (!) on this board, but on reflection, I said, "Well, why not? Every other human also has to endure the same nonsense from GIB/GIBBO that I do, so they all also saw this this ridiculous drivel."

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#2486 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 00:32

Typically stupid lead by the GIBBO robot, Johnny Halfwit, in the West.

What was this braindead twerp "thinking"? Probably: "Golly gee, golly gee, like, uh, I have a like, ya know, uh, a singleton like, in, uh, hearts, so, like, uh, I MUST try to obtain like, uh, SEVERAL heart ruffs. I, uh, like I HAVE to like, lead my stiff, uh, HEART...to like, get my, uh, heart ruffs. My partner Donald J. Dumbo probably has a few entries, like, uh, even though he passed my 1C opener. If he has, like, only TWO aces, I can get like, uh, TWO heart ruffs. He'll like win my queen of hearts lead with his, uh, ace, and then he'll, ya know, give me like my FIRST heart ruff. Then I'll, uh, lead a club to his ace and uh, he'll give me like a SECOND, uh, heart ruff, ya know. That'll already be...uh...like, I think FOUR tricks for us, ya know, and then I'll cash my ace of diamonds for our fifth trick. Declarer might, ya know, misguess like, uh spades, and lose to my queen - ha, ha, that'll be like STIFF, ha, ha, like, ya know by then. Boy oh boy, will I like, uh, laugh at declarer like, then, ya know. Golly gee, like, uh, we'll be beating 4S THREE tricks, ya know, and I might even, like, get written up in, like, our magazine, ya know, "GIBBO Monthly" and like, uh, golly gee, win a prize for like, Best GIBBO defender. That'll be like, ya know, really exciting. But I MUST lead my heart queen. It can't POSSIBLY give up like, ANYTHING, ya know, and otherwise, like I'll NEVER score a like, spade trick, because all I've got is like, uh, the Q72 behind the, uh, guy who showed a long, strong, like, uh, spade suit, ya know."

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#2487 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 00:54

Trick three: "I cannot play a heart," says Donald J. Dumbo, "defending" in the East, "for TWO reasons. First, my partner Johnny Halfwit BID them, and SECOND, partner LED them. Oh, what to do, what to do? I know! It's as obvious as all the makeup I wear every day! What TOOK me so long? Obviously, I should lead a diamond. Maybe Johnny didn't hear me BID the suit. And it can't POSSIBLY cost, since the highest diamond in dummy is the jack."

Johnny and Donnie get another ZERO to add to their world-famous collection. Even Sylvester Balboa, who was kibitzing his favourite pair, was not impressed. "Yo, Donnie," said Balboa, "I tink ya wuz wrong to lead dat diamond."

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#2488 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 00:56

Another interesting thread:

https://www.bridgeba...ding-mean-here/
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#2489 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 01:52

Donald J. Dumbo in the East gives a MASTER class in something in which he is a true EXPERT. Professor Dumbo's course is entitled "How to Add Yet ANOTHER Complete ZERO to a MASSIVE Lifetime Collection of Failures".

Dumbo begins with the stupid lead of his stiff trump (spades). Then...he wins his club ace at trick two, and at trick three...

He leads a...CLUB, the suit DECLARER had just played. At trick four, declarer leads a spade (trump) from dummy, and Johnny Halfwit in the West stupidly plays his FIVE from his remaining K5 doubleton. He would have been much better off to win his spade king, but - seriously - how GOOD do you think Halfwit is...if his regular partner is DUMBO? Water finds its own level, you know!

At trick five, Dumbo wins his heart ace...and...of COURSE plays another HEART, the suit DECLARER just played.

So far, Dumbo has been on lead THREE times. He has led THREE different suits:

On opening lead, he stupidly led his stiff SPADE (trump).

At trick three, he stupidly led a CLUB, the suit DECLARER had just played.

At trick six, he stupidly led a HEART, the suit DECLARER had just played.

The ONLY suit he has studiously avoided is diamonds. As the late Meat Loaf famously sang, "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad". Well, Mr. Loaf, that might or might not be true, but what is DEFINITELY true is that on this hand, three out of four is very, VERY bad...since the fourth was DIAMONDS, the suit in which declarer was able to endplay Halfwit in the West, after stripping the hand, and after Dumbo had FAILED to lead a diamond on ANY of his THREE trips to the plate.

There are many possible candidates for the BEST bridge partnership ever. Meckwell? Kaplan-Kay? Hamman-Woolf? Stansby-Martel? Murray-Kehela? LOTS of other possible candidates also. But for the WORST partnership ever? Hey, could it be...Halfwit-Dumbo? Asking for a friend.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/mrxfjm7t
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#2490 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 03:10

That's quite a PASS by North over West's 1C opener.

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#2491 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 03:42

Time to give credit where it's due: At trick two, West finds a great shift to the ace of hearts. Wow! Well done! So they beat the 1NT contract TWO tricks, right? After that great shift, they held declarer North to a mere FIVE tricks, right? They (East-West) took FIVE hearts and THREE other aces, right?

Well...no. East- West, after that great heart shift, "held" declarer to "only"...EIGHT (!!!!!) tricks! That's right: EW could and SHOULD have taken EIGHT tricks, but they...PATHETICALLY took only FIVE!

Why? Because at trick three, West did NOT continue hearts. He went back to diamonds.

So it was all West's fault (even though he had found that great heart shift at trick two), right?

No, no, a thousand times no. It was the fault of EAST for his stupid, STUPID play at trick two...and perhaps MORE so the fault of GIBBO itself because (supposedly) playing STANDARD signals, East, from QJ9864 of hearts, STUPIDLY played his LOWEST heart, the four, when West cashed the ace at trick two. What an I.D.I.O.T!

But the REAL problem, the ROOT problem, is that GIB/GIBBO is such a worthless piece of garbage that the robots basically never signal, and if they do, it's a good chance that it's by accident, since they seem to treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals. For that same reason, even if they actually DO signal correctly on a hand (either by design, or more likely by accident), their "partner" will probably go wrong anyway, because HE also seems to treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals.

This CORE problem is one of the countless reasons that GIB/GIBBO robots are such disgustingly hopeless "bridge players". They rot.

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#2492 User is offline   benellis58 

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Posted Today, 03:54

The GIB definition of South's 4C is, of course, insane, but what else is new?

North's BLACKWOOD (!!!) bid is, of course insane, but what else is new?

But what is TRULY insane is North bidding SIX hearts...after West doubled South's FIVE HEART response to Blackwood.

North's MASSIVE hand was 862, J1086, 96, 10765. For the life of me, given that he's a GIBBO robot, I'm SHOCKED that he didn't LEAP to SEVEN hearts or at the very least, REDOUBLE 6H with that POWERHOUSE, that OFFENSIVE MONSTER that he held.

I was pleased to actually score 39.66 % on this board, but of course, as usual, many other humans were also subjected to The Madness of King GIBBO.

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cmc%7C10%7C
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