[benellis58]

I'm going to use this post (2441) and the next (2442) to show the same hand at two different tables. Please read both posts for a demonstration of how COMPLETELY illogical, how WILDLY inconsistent, and how MIND-BLOWINGLY stupid the GIBBO robots are. I know, I know: That's not exactly headline news, because we've known all that for a long, long time.

At my table, I, South, opened 1NT as dealer, showing, as per the GIB definition, "15-17 HCP".

My GIBBO robot "partner" (and therefore a known M.O.R.O.N.) immediately leapt to seven no trump. True, he had a very nice 20 HCP, including a great five-bagger in hearts, but since I might have had as few as 15 HCP (and in fact DID have "only" 15), we might well have been off an ace. We had all the bidding space in the world until the imbecile jumped SIX (!) levels. At the very least, even though he's FAR too stupid to conduct an intelligent auction, he could and should at least have checked for aces.

The hopeless trout didn't even respect his own GIB definition, which claimed that his 7NT call showed "21+ HCP".

He lucked out, because we happened to have all the aces (although we might well not have!), but we still had only 12 GUARANTEED top tricks. We had several chances for a thirteenth, though, and in practice I made the grand slam, so I'm not complaining about either the contract or the result, but North's bidding was as STUPID as usual.

But what really made this hand worth discussing is the comparison with what happened with it at another table, as you will see in the next post (2442). First, though, here's the link to the hand at my table:

https://www.bridgeba...H7%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

Now here's what happened with the same hand described in post # 2441 immediately above, but at a different table.

At this other table, South opened 1S rather than 1NT. North bid 2H and South JUMPED to 3NT, showing, as per the GIB definition, "17-20 HCP". He actually had only 15 (!), but that's irrelevant to our post here, because his robot "partner" in the North justifiably thought (due to the definition) that South had at LEAST 17 and perhaps as many as 20.

Over South's 3NT, North leapt to...ONLY (!)...SIX (!) no trump!

At MY table North knew that I could have as few as 15 and that I had at most 17, but he (STUPIDLY) leapt to SEVEN no trump, even though we could have been missing an ace.

At THIS (other) table, North thought that South had at LEAST 17 HCP, and possibly as many as 20. He therefore KNEW that the combined NS partnership assets were between 37 and 40 HCP. First, that meant that unlike at my table, they could NOT be missing an ace. Second, it meant that they had the textbook benchmark (37 HCP) for a grand slam, yet he bid ONLY 6NT...and didn't even bother to investigate a grand!

These GIBBO jerks got the hand completely BACKWARDS at BOTH tables...bidding 7NT when they should NOT have, and signing off in 6NT when they SHOULD have bid the grand.

These GIBBO pieces of garbage should adopt the George Costanza philosophy of always doing the opposite of what they think is right, because they have no idea how to play bridge. They are the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst. They are a stain on bridge and a humiliation to BBO. GIBBO robots rot...but at least they give us a lot of laughs with their incendiary ignorance.

https://www.bridgeba...S9%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

"Interesting" 3D call by North - red against white - with 102 doubleton of diamonds.

We got a good score on this board, as only two NS pairs did better, both because the lamebrained GIBBO robots sitting East-West overbid to 4H and went down three on a typical BBO bad break - but as usual North's highly questionable bid gained NOTHING, because South would have competed anyway with his EIGHT diamonds, and if South did NOT have so many tricks, North's 3D call could have been a disaster.

Ho hum, what else is new?

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

West, very uncharacteristically, actually makes a good shift to a diamond at trick three. His hopeless GIBBO "partner" East wins the king and STUPIDLY shifts...to a CLUB of all things. What an absolute M.O.R.O.N., and what a typical GIBBO robot!

Later, West wins trick six and proves that his good diamond shift earlier was a complete fluke. The twit now gives up on diamonds and plays a spade (to be fair, not that it mattered at that point). But maybe these two GIBBO dolts are playing a game called "I can stink just as much as you can, 'partner'".

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

Here we scored 84.09 % for "only" going down two in 4S. Some human players, possibly even some good ones, would also open the North hand 1S, but I think it's a bad strategy. With the South hand I would always bid a game after my "partner" opened, and my atypical leap to 4S over 1S was purely because this was a robot "best hand" game.

The typical BBO splits (Hawaii Five-oh in trumps, and 5-1 in hearts) were no big surprise, as they are common in this realm.

Check out trick three, where declarer North leads his heart 7 towards dummy South's stiff at that point 8. For Lord knows what reason, the GIBBO robot in the East FLIES with his KING (!) from his remaining K1093 ,,,even THOUGH the JACK was still in the deck! If the trout was aiming for a crocodile coup, he picked the wrong hand.

https://www.bridgeba...ST%7Cpc%7CDJ%7C

[benellis58]

Looking ONLY at West's hand, why on Earth would he be leading a heart? Well, the only reason I can think of is that he's a GIBBO robot, so of COURSE he has no IDEA how to lead intelligently.

At trick five, West is back on lead and this time surprisingly makes a GOOD shift to the spade queen. East, a complete I.D.I.O.T. of the HIGHEST order, a total M.O.R.O.N, has the AK987, and - supposedly playing STANDARD signals - stupidly follows with his LOWEST (!) spade, the 7. This GIBBO trout is dumber than a box of corn flakes about a decade after its expiration date. He rots.

Despite East's world-class ignorance, West should continue spades anyway, after his queen wins the trick (!), but he also studied at GIBBO Bridge School, so he also has no IDEA how to play. He shifts to the diamond jack...allowing declarer to escape for down "only" one, A shared top for NS. A well-deserved shared BOTTOM for EW.

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cpc%7CST%7C

[benellis58]

Just a regular public service reminder that the execrable GIB and GIBBO robots are among the worst bridge players in the history of the game. Their system stinks. Their definitions are pathetic. They are the worst opening leaders I have ever seen. They are hopeless at defending. They are incredibly bad at the PARTNERSHIP aspects of the game. They have no idea how to signal. They stupidly treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals. They are wildly illogical. They are incapable of thought. They can't even declare particularly well, although that IS the best part of their wretched game.

Give these pieces of trash credit though: They don't revoke, they don't lead out of turn, and they don't misclick. Despite those three fine qualities, however, they should still be exported to Jupiter om a one-way space flight never to return. Alternately, they could be shredded in a trash compactor, buried in a landfill in the centre of the Earth, or dropped into the world's deepest ocean with cement blocks attached to them. All of those seem like good solutions, followed, of course, by the introduction of new and even MARGINALLY decent robots. ANYTHING would be an improvement over these reprehensible GIB/GIBBO pieces of garbage.

This has been a public service reminder. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

[benellis58]

I wish to sincerely apologize for my previous post (# 2447).

The GIB/GIBBO robots are far, far, FAR worse than I described them there. In future I will try to be more accurate in correctly conveying the TRULY sickening depths of how disgustingly bad they are.

[benellis58]

GIB defines 2NT as "Unusual no trump overcall - 5+ clubs; 5+ diamonds; 3- hearts; 3- spades; 15-16 total p".

Oh, REALLY? A question for you in that case, Mr. GIB: If THAT is what South has, then...why didn't he bid 2NT over 1H??? No, please DON'T try running away. Security, please detain the guy who's attempting to flee in order to avoid answering the question.

And by the way, Mr. GIB, are you really SO lazy and SO sloppy that you couldn't be bothered to finish writing your final word? Was it TOO difficult to add the letters "oints"? If you have a proofreader (ha, HA, HA!), maybe it's time to fire him and replace him with a decent one, just like it would be a good idea fire the GIB/GIBBO robots and replace THEM with decent ones.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/mumtkck9

[benellis58]

Why does Johnny Halfwit in the West feel that he MUST pop his diamond ace at trick two?

Why does Johnny Halfwit in the West feel that he MUST play another DIAMOND, the suit DECLARER obviously wants to play, at trick three?

Why is Johnny Halfwit SUCH a brainless halfwit...and why are all GIB/GIBBO robots such brainless halfwits?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/t45tavm4

[benellis58]

Johnny Halfwit in the West strikes again with probably the LAST choice of a lead that would be made by ANY decent player on this hand. The indefatigable jerk leads the 10 of spades from 102 dub, thereby BLOWING the suit and allowing declarer to easily take THREE spade tricks.

Johnny Halfwit's GIBBO brethren are among the worst "bridge players" of ALL time, yet even THEY realize that Johnny is hopeless!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5n8bbved

[benellis58]

Donald J. Dumbo in the East "declares" 2H. Give Dumbo full credit: He finds a way to do something that VERY few players could do. He goes down two tricks! Even Johnny Halfwit is laughing at him!

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8jme7v

[benellis58]

GIB defines North's double as "13+ HCP; 14+ total points". Yes, it's a pathetic and largely useless definition, but give GIB a break. Be nice. Be gentle. Be thoughtful. Be considerate. After all, we KNOW that GIB'S pathetic definitions are almost always useless garbage, so did you actually EXPECT this one to be decent? If so, wake up and smell the roses.

Apparently the GIBBO sap in the North (Sylvester Balboa) can't read (which makes sense, since he IS a braindead GIBBO robot), because his HAND is...AJ86, Q106543, 743. VOID...which sure doesn't LOOK like "13+ HCP" to me...or to anyone else with a functioning brain.

Could you EVER read, Balboa? Or did you absorb too many punches to the head in the half century since the world first heard of you?

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/bdz2xrvr

[benellis58]

Typically stupid opening lead by Johnny Halfwit. Typically stupid play of the heart jack at trick one by Donald J. Dumbo. In fairness, though, Sylvester Balboa probably would have done the same thing in both chairs, because he shares their "intelligence" level.

The "defence" does NOT improve after trick one. GIB/GIBBO robots are the worst, the pits. GIB/GIBBO robots suck pumice.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/4e7kfyhu

[benellis58]

We had a shared top of 95.45 % on this board, so as always (whether we do well or poorly on any given board) the point is not to either brag or cry, but to expose the everpresent atrocities of the GIBBO robots in the hope that the powers that be will finally see fit to either hugely improve these monstrosities or - better yet - dispose of them forever and replace them with superior robots, which DO exist. This would benefit not only BBO users and paying customers, but also BBO itself, in an age of competition from MANY other bridge sites.

At trick three, North incorrectly plays the TEN of clubs instead of the nine. Can't these dolts get even the SIMPLEST things right?

https://www.bridgeba...SK%7Cpc%7CDJ%7C

[benellis58]

I checked possible options over East's 3H. 3s by South would not have been a cuebid. It would have been "5+ clubs; 4+ spades", yet 4D would have been a cuebid, defined as "ace of diamonds, no ace of spades", so it seems that in the outstandingly PATHETIC bidding system of GIBBO, you cannot have an intelligent cuebidding auction. No surprise, because I have been aware from the first time I ever played with GIB/GIBBO robots that their system is an antiquated, illogical, unworkable, redundant, incomplete JOKE.

I didn't want to give my centre hand opponent, a known imbecile, a chance to self-destruct, so I just bid what I expected to be the best contract and leapt to 6C, which worked out fine...even though I misclicked (!) at trick 6!

https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

This one is just plain funny. Thanks to typically bad BBO breaks, we scored 85 % for "only" going down THREE (!) in 2C doubled and being "only" minus 800! BBO: land of frequent ridiculous breaks.

The only human who outscored us on this board was the only one who wisely (?) did nothing but pass throughout the auction.

https://www.bridgeba...SQ%7Cpc%7CC9%7C

[benellis58]

West covers (!!!!!) the spade jack at trick three, thereby confirming beyond a shadow of a doubt that he - like all GIBBO robots - is a totally clueless I.D.I.O.T. who knows almost NOTHING about bridge. In practice, his M.O.R.O.N.I.C. play cost nothing, as I had already guessed spades correctly and would have slid the jack anyway, but his imbecilic play could NEVER win and could sometimes cost.

https://www.bridgeba...C7%7Cpc%7CC8%7C

[benellis58]

West's 2S call actually turned out well for his side, but it was still a typically ANTI-partnership move where the C.R.E.T.I.N. decided that he MUST "rescue" his "partner". On top of being among the worst "players" of all time, these GIBBO crackpots are also among the worst "PARTNERS" of all time. Even imbeciles sometimes luck out, though, as Johnny Halfwit proved on this hand. He scored 53.12 % on the board, which for an inept GIBBO clown is a rare and MASSIVE success.

https://www.bridgeba...C7%7Cpc%7CH4%7C

[benellis58]

Another crazy bid by a GIBBO robot that happened to work out. This time it was NORTH (Sylvester Balboa) who lucked out with his silly 4S bid. If these GIBBO clowns weren't so lucky, they'd probably score zero or close to it on every hand. They rot. They are despicable.

https://www.bridgeba...S9%7Cmc%7C11%7C