[benellis58]

There's an old saying: "Lucky at cards, unlucky at love". Perhaps the reverse is true: "Unlucky at cards, lucky at love".

If that is true, then I guess the GIBBO robots will all enjoy a wonderful Valentine's Day, because their GROSS incompetence at bridge means that they are definitely NOT "lucky at cards".

Enjoy your day, you GIBBO robot Romeos. Forget about your millions of self-inflicted bridge disasters and bathe in the satisfaction of l'amour.

[benellis58]

Not the greatest defence of all time:

https://www.bridgeba...HK%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

Not my table, but worth showing as an example of GIBBO bidding - ahem - "strategy":

East has what looks like a normal responsive double over North's 2D, but instead he bids 3C. Okay, could work out, but then later in the passout seat after South bids 3D and West and North pass, he bids 3S, which is tantamount to reversing.

Instead of cheaply and conveniently showing BOTH his majors with a responsive double over North's 2D, over which EW could STILL get back to clubs when that was right, he showed ONLY one of his two majors and at a higher level. He lucked out here, but his bidding was illogical and inefficient...as USUAL!

https://www.bridgeba...C2%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

I am very happy that BBO exists. It provides a lot of enjoyment in many different ways. Robots are essential to much of that enjoyment, so I am quite content that robots were invented. I am not, however, happy that the robots are GIBBO robots, because I have nothing but the utmost contempt for them.

Surely there exist better robots! The GIBBO ones stain the face of bridge. BBO is a good site but it would be infinitely better if it had robots that approached even a basic level of bridge ability. The wretched GIBBO ones are not only burdened by an antiquated, inferior joke of a system and handicapped by some of the worst definitions in the history of civilization, but their bidding, leads, and defence are all humiliatingly and disgustingly bad. If it's not possible to obtain a superior robot family, it would be nice if BBO could at least make some more of the many LONG-needed improvements to the GIBBO robots, because they and their even worse ancestors (the truly execrable GIB ones) have long been an ugly blemish on an otherwise very worthwhile site.

[benellis58]

East opens 1S, so of COURSE his "partner" West does NOT lead a spade against South's 4H contract. Heaven FORBID that he would lead the suit that his PARTNER opened. No, as a card-carrying member of the GIBBO Robot Union, West (for absolutely NO reason) leads the 7 of diamonds from the top of his worthless 73 doubleton.

South immediately thinks to himself "Thank you, SUCKER", but being a polite chap, he does not SAY that final word out loud. He merely turns to West, gives him a charming smile, and says, "Thank you, Mr. West", as he scores an overtrick when the witless lead allows him to, in the fullness of time, pitch dummy North's stiff club loser.

The GIBBO robots are so stunningly stupid that to this day West probably STILL doesn't realize how he could have held the contract to only ten tricks.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8h9fkm

[benellis58]

Because North is a GIBBO robot, he has no idea how to play bridge. Because he has no idea how to play bridge, he passes (!) his partner's 1D opening bid rather than sensibly bidding 1H (as anyone except the DIMMEST bulb in the box would do) with 984, Q97642, Q5, 95. If they ever start giving out Academy Awards for pure, unbridled, unrelenting stupidity, I think this GIBBO robot will win a shelf full of Oscars. Later the ignorant fool "unblocks" (ha, ha) his queen of diamonds (from Q5) for no particular reason. If brains were made of cotton candy, a GIBBO robot wouldn't have enough to fill a thimble with the sugary concoction.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yh7t2t6j

[benellis58]

Trick one: Although West and East have both bid spades, West leads a club...for no particular reason.

Trick eight: West pops his queen of diamonds...for no particular reason.

Trick nine: West (stupidly) plays his king of spades...for no particular reason.

Are you beginning to get the idea that the hopeless GIBBO robots make many plays...for no particular reason?

The play of the spade king was especially ignorant, because West knew (or should have known) from the auction that East had all the remaining spades and that the fatuous play of the spade king would establish dummy's queen as a winner. His play was actually irrelevant and didn't cost, since I was always making nine tricks anyway at that point, but what he did still serves to illustrate his gross and glaring incompetence.

North-South played this hand in hearts 30 times (28 in 3H, 2 in 4H). 6 declarers took 9 tricks, 20 took 8, and 4 took 7.

https://www.bridgeba...CSK%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

The GIB definition of 2H is, in my opinion, poorly worded. I know, I know - that's not exactly a shock!

It's not really wrong, but it's expressed very, very poorly as usual and as we have sadly come to EXPECT from GIB definitions: "Drury - not a full opener - 5+ hearts; 11+ HCP; 12-13 total points".

To begin with, the 2H call is not "Drury" - it is a response to North's bid of 2C, which WAS Drury.

Next: It says "Not a full opener"...but right after that it CONTRADICTS itself by saying "11+ HCP" (an extremely lazy and sloppy designation that, since it has NO upper limit, literally means 11-37) and then adding "12-13 total points". Those descriptions of HCP and total points do NOT describe a hand that is "not a full opener" - they describe a hand that IS a full, but minimum opener.

A better definition would simply say that the 2H call represents a hand with no interest in game - a hand that is a sub-minimum, a BARE minimum, or possibly even a psych. Obviously no one would be psyching in FOURTH seat, but a player might WELL psych in THIRD seat, and Drury by partner would be applicable there also.

https://www.bridgeba...C2%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

Anything COULD be right, but looking only at West's hand, a DIAMOND seems "normal" and "right". HE, however, leads a spade...for no particular reason. Gee, where have I seen those words before? They seem very familiar. (Clue: Look at post # 587).

And, golly gee, who EVER could have guessed, but a diamond lead WOULD have been better than the "no particular reason" spade lead. Even a CLUB would have been better.

Poor GIBBO robots: They seem doomed to forever walk around with clouds over their (empty) heads.

https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

The GIBBO robots are all - whether North, West, or East - utterly abominable excuses for bridge players. If a GIBBO robot pushed a human out of his chair and sat down in the South position, I have every confidence that that SOUTH GIBBO robot would also be a putrid excuse for a bridge player.

Here is an example where all three robots show how hopeless they are. Such examples are FAR from rare with these *****s.

North bids a forcing 1NT instead of the clearcut 2H bid that he has. Where did THAT call come from? Well, I guess either Bizarro World, The Twilight Zone, or The Outer Limits, because it certainly didn't come from a functioning brain.

Next, the same I.D.I.O.T. in the North bids 2NT, perhaps because of his truly GREAT club stopper: 876. I.D.I.O.T.

East now comes alive to show what a genius HE is. He doubles, defined as "Takeout double - 4+ clubs; 2- diamonds; 4+ hearts; 2- spades; 16 total points". Let's see how close this twit's hand is to the GIB definition.

"4+ hearts"? He has ONLY three.

"2- spades"? He has...five. FIVE!!!

"16 total points"? He has a mere 13 HIGH card points...and he has NO reason to add ANY points for distribution, since at this time his side has not identified a fit. Furthermore, included in his 13 HCP is the stiff queen of diamonds, which could easily be worthless. So the GIBBO robot, as he SO often does, is IGNORING his own GIB definition. And speaking of that definition, why the HELL should a double here show EXACTLY 16 total points? What if East had an appropriate hand for the double (which the M.O.R.O.N. here definitely does NOT have!) but had 15 total points...or 17? Stupid GIB definition for stupid GIBBO robots!

Next: West...PASSES the double with Q, 105, 108632, 109543, which seems quite risky, because he's not exactly LOADED with defence! Worse yet, this imbecile has FIVE clubs - a suit where his partner East is SUPPOSED to have at least four and possibly more - AND West has a shapely 1-2-5-5. Passing rather than bidding clubs is an amazing and abnormal decision, but what else is new for a clueless and hopeless GIBBO robot with less intelligence than a carrot?

These two lunatics luck into a score of plus 100 (scoring 53.6 %) on the board. How did they manage to defeat 2NT doubled by one trick? Well, ASTONISHINGLY, North's 876 of clubs was NOT a stopper! Who would ever believe it?

Are the three robots at this table the stupidest bridge players in the history of the game, or are they just acting. IF they're only acting as fools, they are doing an EXCELLENT job!

Sadly, Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp, Curly Joe, and Joe have all passed away, but I think the three GIBBO robots at this table could become the new faces of that storied comedy team that always featured (only) three members at a time.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/ea9y2fwc

[benellis58]

Does the GIBBO robot sitting East lead his king of spades against North's 3C?

Sorry for asking such a silly question. Of COURSE he doesn't, because HE'S a (typically stupid) GIBBO robot. Spades are the only unbid suit AND he has a NATURAL spade lead staring him in the face with KQ42, but he prefers to lead a...DIAMOND, the suit that South opened! If we looked for a brain inside the robot's head, I think all we would see would be a gigantic vacuum.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p83v8xz

[benellis58]

As usual, the GIBBO robots have no idea how to bid two-suiters.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p9hmv2c

[benellis58]

The GIBBO robot sitting West would never DREAM of leading HIS (heart) suit. He MUCH prefers leading (INTO declarer!) the diamond suit that DECLARER opened.

Which pharmaceutical company manufactures the stupidity pills that these GIBBO robots seemingly swallow by the handful each and every day? I'm asking, because I want to invest in that company: their product works VERY well.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/297yazaw

[benellis58]

Here is a truly mind-blowing auction, EVEN by the "standards" of the perennially dazed and confused GIBBO robots.

I think that the way GIBBO uses a 3S bid here is silly, but at least North's hand does fit the GIB definition. Characteristically, however, North's next call, 4H, is undisciplined, illogical, and disobedient, as he for the umpteenth time fails to adhere to his own GIB definition. He's SUPPOSED to be showing "3+ hearts" but he has only 75 doubleton. Also, the definition says "6+ HCP; 7-8 total points", yet he has NINE HCP. That fits the lazily written "6+ HCP", which literally means 6-37 since no upper limit is given, but the statement of "6+ HCP" is neutered by the subsequent "7-8 total points", because if he has a MAXIMUM of 8 "total" points, then he HAS to have a MAXIMUM of 8 HCP! In other words, this definition is the usual type of inconsistent, illogical garbage that we have come to expect from the always pathetic GIB definitions. In addition to the internal contradictions of the GIB definition, the robot OBVIOUSLY has more than the defined "7-8 total points", because he has 9 HCP, so he must have at LEAST 9 "total" points. Trash from start to finish - no surprise at all when talking about GIB and GIBBO.

Anyway, after North's fatuous 4H bid, East and South pass, and now...West doubles. Why the HELL would he be doubling? Well, let's check the definition: "5+ spades; 17+ HCP; 18-20 total points". The comment about total points is useless, because as usual GIB has just pulled them out of thin air for no logical reason. And as for "17+ HCP:" West has a mere NINE HCP...a full EIGHT (!) less than the MINIMUM of 17 that the definition "promises"...and note that "17+" literally means 17-37,to boot. Sad to say, I long ago ran out of enough derogatory words to describe the absolute and total contempt I have for GIB definitions and GIBBO robots.

After West's Twilight Zone double, North passes and a bewildered and clueless East bids 4S. South and West pass and now North bids 5C. He can't seem to make up his mind: First he supported clubs (via 3S), then he made his incorrect and passable 4H call, and now he's bidding clubs again. The poor soul seems to be wandering through a haze. East doubles. After two passes, North...REDOUBLES, and 5C redoubled by South becomes the final contract.

The contract is ice cold, so NS are plus 1400 and naturally score 100 % on the board, while the two dimwitted EW robots have found a new and creative way to go for minus 1400! Meanwhile, although North got a good result, his AUCTION was the usual ridiculous kind that he and all other GIBBO robots excel at. It was inconsistent, foolhardy, and undisciplined. Among other things, where did his REDOUBLE come from (?), considering that looking only at his OWN hand, all 7 of his non-club cards are LOSERS - all 7! The GIBBO robots belong in a circus, not a bridge game.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5n84mmzx

[benellis58]

The systemic GIB use of and definition of 3H is in my opinion foolish, but typically the GIBBO robot sitting in the East seat bids 3H with a hand that doesn't even match the GIB definition. It promises "5+ spades" but he has only 4. It promises "9+ HCP" but he has only 8. And notice that in the definition, both the spade length and the HCP are unlimited, as there exists only a plus sign with no figure following it.

After his abuse of the auction, East follows up by declaring the hand poorly.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yeyw2k7w

[benellis58]

Another example of declarer play by the GIBBO robots. Declarer play is the part of the game where the GIBBO robots are the least pathetic. They certainly declare better than they bid, lead, defend, or...THINK. (Ha, ha, just joking. GIBBO robots are apparently INCAPABLE of thinking, at least if we look at all the absurd stuff they do.)

Yes, declaring IS the best part of their game. Now watch how the robot declarer creates a heart LOSER for himself out of thin air, and reflect on the fact that this is an example of what they are BEST at:

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/36bm39pb

[benellis58]

Another of their many ZERO PERCENT scores for the GIBBO robots sitting West and "defending". These dumbbells allow me to score THREE heart tricks while losing NONE in my 3NT contract. I have a stiff ace in my hand and dummy North has K8632, but the two goobers "defending" both throw away hearts and both keep clubs.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5n873r26

[benellis58]

Grab your guitar or sit down at your piano and join us in a singalong:

It's definition time in robot land
Where all their actions seem unplanned,
It's definition time in robot land,
Will they ever learn how to bid a hand?

West's double of 2S is defined as "3+ clubs; 3+ diamonds; 3+ hearts; 2- spades; 14-15 total points". Oh yeah? Then why didn't he double ONE spade?

BTW, THIS was his hand: A63, A72, 10962, KJ8 - a hand where he has THREE spades, NOT "2-" AND a hand where he does NOT have "14-15 total points". In other words, just one MORE hand where the GIBBO robot does not respect his own GIB definition.

Meanwhile, the "defence" by the GIBBO robots sitting East-West earns them a score of ZERO percent on the board...a score that through long experience they are VERY familiar with.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8z3mj4

[benellis58]

East decides to lead diamonds, the suit that his LHO, now the dummy in 2S, opened the bidding in! It goes as well as it deserves to. The GIBBO robot's lead earns his EW partnership yet ANOTHER score of ZERO percent. But, hey, it's not all bad news for him: He wins a blue ribbon at the annual GIBBO Robot Award Ceremony and receives a huge round of robot applause for faithfully following their strategy of LOVING to lead DECLARER'S suit and HATING to lead PARTNER'S.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/3ksdrwev

[benellis58]

The GIBBO robot makes a very reasonable club lead, proving that he is a much better leader (thanks to Lorserker's fine work) than the GIB robots were. Well done, Mr. West!

Unfortunately, though, at trick three he makes the outlandishly terrible play of attempting to cash his club king, after which it was child's play for the human South to finish with 12 of the 13 tricks.

Lorserker has pushed the GIBBO robots onto the FIRST rung of the ladder towards respectability, but there are still many steps left for them to climb!

https://www.bridgeba...S4%7Cmc%7C12%7C