[benellis58]

Have I seen better defences than this? Yes, now that you mention it, I have. INDEED I have!

https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CSK%7C

[benellis58]

North bids two spades.

North bids TWO spades?

North, with AQJ1098752 (!!!), 107, VOID, J2, bids TWO spades???

North, with AQJ1098752 (!!!), 107, VOID, J2, opposite a partner who OPENED the bidding, bids TWO spades???!!!

Yes, North WAS a GIBBO robot. How did you ever guess?

https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

For anyone who plays in games where his partner North is a GIBBO robot and his East- West opponents are also GIBBO robots, here are my three strategic tips for getting the best score you possibly can:

Tip Number One: Always assume that North is an extremely bad bridge player who cannot bid, lead, or defend intelligently, and who will probably not even follow his own GIB definitions.

Tip Number Two: Always assume that East is an extremely bad bridge player who cannot bid, lead, or defend intelligently, and who will probably not even follow his own GIB definitions.

Tip Number Three: Always assume that West is an extremely bad bridge player who cannot bid, lead, or defend intelligently, and who will probably not even follow his own GIB definitions.

[benellis58]

Do you remember the old TV show "The Naked City" from the late fifties and early sixties? The closing words on it each week were "There are eight million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them."

Perhaps here in 2026 we could modify that to "There are eight million stories of GIBBO robot incompetence. The following hand is one of them."

Since NS spades break 2-2, EW are cold for all 13 tricks in spades or clubs. We can't blame them for not bidding a grand, though, because spades don't ALWAYS break 2-2. A SMALL slam, however, is a great spot, and any competent pair should be able to bid it. However, EW were both GIBBO robots, so you can forget ENTIRELY about competence! These ignorant saps ignored the great slam and instead doubled me in 5D.

They only beat me two tricks, collecting a pitiful and paltry 300 and a pathetic score of 11.86 % on the board. Even THAT was 11.86 % more than they deserved for their sad and hopeless performance. The reason these two oafs didn't get the zero that they so richly deserved was that two other East-West pairs of incompetent GIB robots were even worse (hard as that is to believe) and sold out to NS in 3H and 4H.

Then, to further demonstrate how utterly clueless they are, they conducted a joke of a "defence". Bad as it was, it was irrelevant on the layout, because my 5D doubled contract was open and shut for down only two, but just LOOK at what West did:

West led a club to East's ace. East returned a spade to West's ace. Then at trick three, LOOKING AT the KQ10653 of hearts in dummy, West led his 7 of hearts (!) from A97!

https://www.bridgeba...CCA%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

NS scored 100 % on this board for bidding and making 2NT, but that's not the story. The story is the PROFOUNDLY stupid GIB definition of 2NT.

I opened 1NT with (only) 14 HCP because I knew that by definition I was playing with a totally incompetent partner and against two totally incompetent opponents. HOW did I know that? Simple: they were all GIBBO robots.

When my partner North competed with 2S, I knew he had only four of them. Why? Because I've played with GIBBO robots before and I know that with five or more spades he would have immediately transferred (via 2H) over West's artificial 2C call. I also know from experience that the GIBBO robots can't BEAR to let the opponents buy the contract cheaply after their human partner has opened 1NT, so they invariably (and often stupidly) compete by bidding a four-card major. Since I had only two spades, it didn't seem prudent to pass and have our side declare a 4-2 fit, so I bid 2NT...DESPITE the always wretched GIB definition, which was:

"Invitational to 3NT game - 2-5 clubs; 2-5 diamonds, 2-5 hearts; 2-5 spades; 17 HCP; 18 total points; likely stop in hearts". Let's examine some of the PARAMOUNT lunacy of this typically witless GIB definition:

"Invitational to 3NT game": First (groan!), MUST we continue seeing the needless, insulting, and offensive word "game" immediately after "3NT"? You know, I kind of suspect that BBO players KNOW that 3NT is "game" and don't need to be TOLD every time! Second, why the HELL should 2NT be invitational??? Is South supposed to PASS, KNOWING a spade contract cannot be "right", and holding a flat hand with the enemy suit stopped? There is absolutely NO reason that 2NT should be invitational on this auction.

The "information" about the four suits is entirely useless, as it claims that each is between two and five cards long - something that was ALREADY assumed when South opened 1NT. But it's actually even WORSE than useless in its description of spades, since it says that South has "2-5 spades". If South had FIVE (!) spades, if South had FOUR (!) spades, and often even if South had "only" THREE spades, would he REALLY be bidding 2NT over partner's two SPADE call??? Of COURSE not! He would be PASSING or possibly raising!

"17 HCP": WHY, pray tell? If he thinks 2NT is "right" (as in practice I did), then surely he should BID 2NT (!)... however many HCP he has!

"18 total points": As usual, this is meaningless garbage, because as usual all GIB has done is to randomly, unscientifically, and for no reason at all simply add one point to the announced HCP. To make it even more comical, the only suit that has been mentioned by NS is spades, so the only INTELLIGENT reason for adding a distribution point to the HCP would be if South had a spade fit, but...if South had a spade fit he wouldn't be bidding 2NT!

"Likely stop in hearts": Only "likely"? Shouldn't he DEFINITELY have a heart stopper on this auction?

Why must we almost always see ridiculous GIB definitions? After ALL the years that GIB has been in existence, isn't it about time to FINALLY improve the definitions?

Now let's look at the (if you'll pardon the expression) "defence":

At trick two West wins his diamond ace, so at trick three he, of COURSE, immediately plays back another DIAMOND...because GIBBO robots absolutely (and totally illogically) LOVE to immediately return DECLARER'S suit.

Then at trick five West wins his spade queen, so at trick six he, of COURSE, immediately plays back another SPADE...because GIBBO robots absolutely (and totally illogically) LOVE to immediately return DECLARER'S suit. (Yes, it's broken record time.)

Could EW have defeated 2NT? Of COURSE they could. DID EW defeat 2NT? Of COURSE they didn't. Why not? Simple: Because they are GIBBO robots!

https://www.bridgeba...CH9%7Cmc%7C8%7C

[benellis58]

Ho hum: Yet ANOTHER no-play contract that the GIBBO robots sitting East-West allow to make:

https://www.bridgeba...ST%7Cpc%7CDQ%7C

[benellis58]

Hey, fellow humans, it's fairly obvious that confidence is an important quality to have in bridge and elsewhere. When you're confident you play better than when you are insecure. But if some of your results start to slip, you might lose your mojo and start to doubt your ability. If that happens, you'll start to play worse.

Don't let that happen to you! Regain your confidence! Regain your swagger!

Here's how you do it: You sit down at a table with three GIBBO robots and you play a few games. By the time you leave, you'll be shouting from the rooftops, "I must be one of the greatest bridge players who ever lived! I am SO much better than those three totally clueless goofballs I just played with!"

Congratulations, Mr., Mrs., or Ms. Human: You're back! Your swagger has returned...all thanks to the GIBBO robots!

[benellis58]

This one concerns annoying GIB definitions and hopeless GIBBO "defence".

The annoying definition of North's 1H response to South's 1C opening bid begins with the three first TOTALLY unnecessary (and insulting!) words "One over one". Does GIB really think the human players don't ALREADY know this? And - even if they DIDN'T (which is awfully hard to believe!), is it even worth mentioning ANYWAY? GIB definitions OFTEN omit useful information, but they also far too often include total garbage such as this. These definitions need HUGE improvements!

The annoying definition of South's 2NT rebid begins with the first three TOTALLY unnecessary (and insulting!) words "Jump in notrump". Does GIB really think the human players don't ALREADY know this? Please, GIB, even if you're incapable of writing accurate definitions, at least get rid of this type of drivel!

West, to his credit, finds the best lead of a spade, thereby proving that he is a new and improved GIBBO robot, and not one of his loathsome GIB predecessors. Well done, Sir!

Unfortunately East, to his eternal discredit, quickly shows that although GIBBO robots lead far, far better than the hopeless GIB ones EVER did, they still have NO idea how to defend and they still HATE returning partner's suit. The twit in the East shifts to a diamond, allowing declarer to take ELEVEN tricks...when a spade return would have held him to only nine.

https://www.bridgeba...D9%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

As I've often said: Leads are frequently guesses, "anything" can often turn out "right" or "wrong" depending on the random layout of the random hand in the always random game of bridge, and luck often plays a role,...yada, yada, yada.

But in spite of all that, we can at least try to make our guesses "educated guesses" based on the principles that bridge overall has accumulated through the years.

On the hand linked below, the NS contract of 6S is cold for exactly 12 tricks, no more, no less, so East's lead is irrelevant - but since this is a "bashing" thread (as Diana named it when she created it), let's live up to the title and BASH the GIBBO robot anyway!

Surely a CLUB lead from QJ109632 is normal, but he - being a GIBBO robot - makes the silly lead of his 7 of diamonds from 74 doubleton, because one of his favourite leads is (for Lord knows what reason!) the top of a worthless doubleton. Could it sometimes work out? Of course it could - see the top line of this post - but that doesn't mean it's a good or normal lead for anyone except a GIBBO robot!

https://www.bridgeba...D3%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

Foolish play of the club king (instead of the normal and correct 10) at trick one by the GIBBO robot in the West:

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CDT%7C

[benellis58]

I'm pleasantly surprised, but I still can't believe it! My GIBBO partner actually led my suit! They usually (and foolishly) HATE leading partner's suit. In fact, my partner was the ONLY GIBBO robot smart enough to lead my suit and let us beat the game. Six other GIBBO robots stuck to their principles of HATING to lead partner's suit, which allowed declarer West to take ELEVEN tricks rather than the mere nine that he took at our table. Golly gee, maybe it's actually a GOOD idea to lead partner's suit, but I doubt that the GIBBO robots will EVER have the intelligence to figure that out. Maybe the secret is opening at the TWO level, as I did here, rather than at the (normal!) one level as the six other humans did. I'll post a link to THEIR hands in the entry right below this one.



https://www.bridgeba...CDJ%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

See post directly above for explanation of this hand:

https://www.bridgeba...S7%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

Look at the typically silly definition of West's 2S opening bid: "Weak two bid - 1-4 clubs; 1-3 diamonds; 1-3 hearts; 6+ spades; 6-10 HCP; 7+ total points".

Why can't he be VOID in clubs, diamonds, or hearts?

Why does it say one to FOUR clubs, but only one to THREE diamonds? What the HELL is the reason for that ridiculous inconsistency?

As for one to THREE hearts, I know that many humans also have the limit of three, but I personally would NOT have that limit. You're welcome to disagree, of course, because it IS a matter of opinion.

"6+ spades". Well, it's usually six...but it CAN sometimes be seven, so...okay...EXCEPT that in the MODERN bridge world many players also do it on (only) FIVE if the circumstances seem "right". To be fair, though, that IS in the MODERN bridge world, and a lot of GIBBO (especially its wretched and inefficient system) is from an ANTIQUATED bridge world.

"6-10 points". Okay, usually true - but there are times when it's reasonable to have less or more.

"7+ total points": pulled, as usual, from thin air for no particular reason...and ALSO "7+" literally means 7 to infinity, since no upper limit is specified. Tighten up your point ranges, GIB!

https://www.bridgeba...C5%7Cpc%7CDQ%7C

[benellis58]

The GIBBO robot RUSHES to PROUDLY win his spade ace at trick two, and then at trick three plays...another spade (!) because (sigh, place broken record on turntable for what seems like the ten thousandth time) they (foolishly, illogically, and perversely) LOVE to return DECLARER'S suit. It didn't matter that much on this random hand, but their stubborn faith in this stupid habit of theirs frequently costs them on many hands.


https://www.bridgeba...C7%7Cpc%7CDK%7C

[benellis58]

Topics here: Definitions, leads, defence.

4D is very poorly defined (as usual!) as "4+ clubs; 5+ spades; 21- HCP; 15-22 total points"; forcing to 5C".

Among other things, note that it says NOTHING about DIAMONDS, the suit that was NAMED in the bid! Maybe it should say "shortness in DIAMONDS" or "1- DIAMOND"! Maybe then four DIAMONDS would actually be a USEFUL and INFORMATIVE call! Did GIB ever hear the word "splinter"??? (That's not a REAL question. It's a sarcastic comment on how antiquated the wretched GIBBO bidding sytem is and how outstandingly pathetic the GIB definitions are, because I'm aware that the robots sometimes DO use splinters.)

The GIBBO robot sitting East leads a SPADE of all things, because they LOVE leading the ENEMY suits. Luckily for him, it didn't matter here, because the hand is open and shut for exactly 11 tricks on any lead unless the declarer or defenders do something even more stupid than usual.

The GIBBO robot DOES do something extraordinarily stupid when he plays a SPADE (!) at trick four, but even THAT boneheaded action cannot prevent the (if you'll pardon the expression) "defenders" from taking another trick.

https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cmc%7C11%7C

[benellis58]

For the sake of "amusement", let's begin with a quick partial look at yet another truly annoying GIB definition, before moving on to discuss the EW "defence".

The definition of South's 2S begins with these useless and annoying words: "Transfer completed to spades". No KIDDING, Mr. GIB? It was a TRANSFER? (Well...YEAH...and THAT was already explained in the definition for North's 2H.) And it was COMPLETED? Wow! How did you EVER figure THAT out? And it was "completed" to...SPADES of all things? Golly gee, Mr. GIB, you're just TOO smart for us simple HUMANS. We would NEVER have known ANY of that if you hadn't TOLD us in this GREAT definition. Thanks SO much!

Now on to the defensive wizardry of the GIBBO robots:

The GIBBO robot sitting West stupidly leads a spade (the suit that North transferred to!) against South's 3NT.

West wins trick two with his heart jack, and at trick three he...of COURSE...plays...ANOTHER heart (his ace), because...and please stop me if you've heard this about a million times before...they LOVE to (immediately and foolishly) play the same suit DECLARER just played, incompetent, illogical rubes that they are.

Then, after cashing his heart ace at trick three, he of COURSE plays ANOTHER heart at trick four. He might be a complete and total fool, but you have to give him credit for perseverance. Yes, this is another "Be kind to GIBBO robots" day.


https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

So let's see if I have this right: The GIBBO robots sitting East-West are ICE COLD for at LEAST 10 tricks in hearts...and ELEVEN if they guess the winning line of play...but instead of bidding their cold game, they stop off to double me in 2C, which I make.

Quick: Ask them to be your teammates in a big IMP game: maybe the Bermuda Bowl, the Spingold, the Vanderbilt, or the Soloway. But you better ask them FAST, because I'm sure their phones are ringing off the hook with offers after this display of their fabulous bidding judgment!

https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C

[benellis58]

Not my table, but worth reporting:

The anonymous human South demonstrates his courage and creativity, and probably also his contempt for the "abilities" of the GIBBO robots, by bidding 1NT. He is rewarded with a score of 100 % on the board when he makes his contract for plus 90.

HOW does he make it? The GIBBO robot sitting West opts to lead a spade from 87632 rather than a HEART from...AK965. ?????

It's STILL not over, though, and EW can STILL beat the contract, but of course they don't. (Hey, they ARE GIBBO robots, you know!)

East gets in at trick two with his diamond king and actually...returns his partner's suit, something they normally HATE to do! Bravo, Mr. East, BRAVO! I sincerely hope that television cameras were there to capture this unique and historic moment of GIBBO defensive awakening! Bravo once again, Sir!

Unfortunately, however, East has had his impressive and historic epiphany on...how shall I put this tactfully...the "wrong" hand, because for once it WASN'T right to return partner's PRESUMED suit. In defence of East, however, that's because his "partner" West did not make the most brilliant choice oof WHICH five-card major to lead!

It's STILL not over, though, and EW can STILL beat the contract, but of course they don't. (Hey, they ARE GIB robots, you know!)

(Gee, those words I just wrote on the line above seem very familiar. I wonder why?)

Back to business: The anonymous human wins East's spade return and plays a second round of diamonds. East wins his ace and plays... the queen of...CLUBS (!), and presto, just like that, our heroic and courageous anonymous South has his 7 tricks, his plus 90, and his 100 % score on the board. Luckily, everyone has played quickly, so East and West are able to scurry off to the bar, drown their robotic sorrows, and return just in time for the next round...where they will undoubtedly give away MORE tops, because that's what GIBBO robots DO!

https://www.bridgeba...HQ%7Cpc%7CHJ%7C

[benellis58]

Aw, we were so unlucky here! We bid to an aggressive 4H but it went down because EW got a club ruff. Aw shucks, why can't we ever get a break?

Sorry! Just kidding! We SHOULD have gone down, but we didn't. Why not? I can give you that answer in 10 words: "We didn't go down...because the 'defenders' were GIBBO robots!"

Here's how they blew THIS one: West, being a new and improved GIBBO robot rather than one of the earlier and even worse GIB ones, made the normal and correct lead of a high club (the king). Sadly, the dimwitted loser in the East seat STUPIDLY followed suit with his SEVEN of clubs rather than his eight, DESPITE the fact that the GIBBO robots supposedly play normal (i.e. NOT upside down) signals. The sad truth, of course, is that these incompetent twits pretty much play NO signals and pretty much treat all spot cards as interchangeable equals. This is one of the numerous reasons that the GIBBO robots are incapable of playing as "well" as even the WEAKEST human players.

Anyway, West cashed his club ace at trick two and then...SHIFTED to a diamond (to East's ace, for the third and LAST defensive trick), thereby abandoning all hope of beating the contract, as South rolled home with the remaining 10 tricks.

Just ANOTHER botched "defence" for the GIBBO robots to add to their MASSIVE collection of failures!

https://www.bridgeba...D9%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

Another BBO robot player has once again sent me a hand and asked me to post it here. (I would prefer if he posted it himself, but since he is reluctant to do so, this is the next best thing, and I appreciate his initiative in giving me the hand. He is obviously aware, as am I and SO many other BBO players, of the huge need for GIBBO improvement, and, like me, he is trying his best to aid Lorserker in that difficult but very necessary task.)

These are the sarcastic words the contributor wrote when he sent me the hand: "Here's one for the thread: bidding triumph in JUST DECLARE-some got out for down 4. Preference? Who gives a preference? No. much better to rebid my 4 card spade suit, already shown with a negative double. And then North leaves it in despite being 6-6 when per 2C definition he might have been 4-4."

The auction being justly mocked by the other BBO player was a mandated one, as they always are in Just Declare games, so this means that GIBBO thinks that this all-around JOKE is actually the recommended way for all four players to bid their cards. This exposes the stupefying incompetence of GIBBO bidding - probably to the surprise of no one.

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CH8%7C