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3S is I.D.I.O.T.I.C.A.L.L.Y. defined by GIB as showing "15-16 HCP". WHY, pray tell? South happens to have 14, and he could have 15 or 16, but why SHOULD he? He could ALSO have as few as ELEVEN! For example, change his KING of diamonds to the THREE of diamonds, and he might STILL open 1H and then make the normal second round call of 2D, and then be FORCED to bid 3S over the FSF 3C.
North's 4NT (!) bid is just plain insane and his subsequent 6S is just plain pathetic. Besides the missing ace, he lacks first OR second round controls in BOTH red suits, and most importantly of all, he has a MERE 13 (!) HCP opposite a partner, South, who (despite the piece of trash masquerading as a GIB definition), has shown NOTHING more than an opening bid. Yes, I see North's sixth spade and I see that his doubleton heart queen COULD be a very useful card opposite pard's opening one HEART bid, but...big deal! His bidding is STILL that of a lunatic.
I figured it was about 99 % that East was leading a STIFF heart and that by playing small from dummy South there was an excellent chance that I'd go down two tricks instead of "only" one, but I also figured that I might as well play low, as it was my ONLY chance of making this INSANE contract that my always contemptible and nauseating GIBBO lunatic of a "partner" had condemned us to. As expected, it WAS a stiff, and as expected, it led to down two instead of down "only" one, but big deal again. Minus "only" 100 was NEVER going to be a good score on a hand where we SHOULD have been PLUS 650!
There were many different results on this board. The ludicrous 6S was reached at 7 tables. At 5 of them (including mine), it went down 2. At one, it went down three, and at another one, it went down "only" one. FOUR spades was the contract at two tables. At one of them it made exactly, and at the other it...went down one (in FOUR!). Incredibly, the contract at one table was...a mere TWO (!!!) spades, which made with two overtricks. At three tables, the contract was an "impossible" 3NT, but since GIBBO robots (!) were "defending", the "impossible" 3NT made NINE tricks at one table, ELEVEN (!) at another, and...TWELVE (!!!!!) at the third!
In the two posts immediately following this one, I will show what happened with this board at two other tables. I will probably not be surprising ANYONE by stating as a preview that the GIBBO robots were also positively EXECRABLE at those two tables also. GIBBO robots are the WORST of the worst and the LOWEST of the low. They absolutely stink at bridge.
Here's the link to the hand at my table, but please be SURE to read the next two posts for further "amusement" regarding this board.
https://www.bridgeba...CQ%7Cmc%7C10%7C
Benellis58 GIB bashing on repeat Groundhog Day
#1602
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Posted 2026-May-24, 18:05
Okay, as promised, here's the same hand from post #1601 immediately above, but from another table.
Whereas the piece of GIBBO garbage partnering me stupidly propelled us into a ridiculous SIX spades, the contract at THIS table was an equally astonishing TWO (!) spades - thanks again, of COURSE - to the ridiculous bidding of ANOTHER typically braindead GIBBO piece of trash.
Here, the human South was quite obviously operating (either that or he misclicked), because in second seat he opened one DIAMOND rather than 1H on his 3-5-4-1 hand. West overcalled 1H and North bid a normal 1S (although I believe that in the execrable GIBBO system he had the option of bidding a natural and game-forcing 2S - but I prefer his choice of a NORMAL 1S). East passed.
The human South, who for whatever reason had earlier opened a bizarre 1D, now bid 2H. This was his SECOND bizarre bid, because it was defined by GIB as "3+ diamonds; 18-21 HCP; 19-22 total points"; forcing to 3NT". He indeed had the requisite diamond length, as he had four of them. The stuff about "total" points was irrelevant, because that subject is ALWAYS irrelevant in the pathetic GIB definitions, since GIB has no idea about "total" points. BUT the hopeless definition states that South SHOULD have "18-21 HCP" and he actually has ONLY a "mere" 14, a full FOUR fewer than his "promised" MINIMUM (!) and a huge SEVEN less than his potential maximum. It also says that 2H is "forcing to 3NT", yet South has "only" 14 HCP and his partner North's 1S bid could have been made on as FEW as 6 HCP according to the GIB definition.
Quite a LIE by the human, but that is NOT the point of this post. The purpose is NEVER to bash humans, but ALWAYS to bash the truly contemptible and revolting GIB/GIBBO robots, as set forth in the title that Diana gave this essential, hugely popular thread when she had the great inspiration and wisdom to create it. I faithfully use Diana's excellent title as my mission statement in exposing the horrendous atrocities of the contemptible GIBBO robots. And now we get to the BASHING, because, over South's bizarre 2H call, West passes, and...
The GIBBO robot in the North bids... TWO spades. TWO! In fairness, the GIB definition DOES say that this is "forcing to 3NT", but that is ONLY because it respects the "forcing to 3NT" that appeared in South's 2H definition. The GIB definitions adhere to the pattern that was set, and they CANNOT undo a PARTNERSHIP force that was already established. But in any case, a MERE two spades CERTAINLY does not describe the North hand. The full GIB definition is "twice rebiddable spades - whatever the Hell THAT'S supposed to mean-; 6+ total points; forcing to 3NT."
The bottom line is that North COULD have initially bid a natural and game-forcing 2S over West's 1H but (fair enough) opted not to. Then, after his partner South supposedly showed at LEAST 18 HCP, North bid a MERE two spades with his six good spades and 13 HCP - the SAME hand where at MY table, where I had NOT shown any more than a MINIMUM opener (despite the incorrect, piece of trash GIB definition), the North robot took control, Blackwooded, and then blasted into a slam! Where is the LOGIC? Where is the consistency? Where is there even an IOTA of intelligence or bridge ability? Answer: Certainly NOT anywhere in the GIB/GIBBO universe of madness and failure. GIB/GIBBO rots! Please BULLDOZE it!
https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cpc%7CCT%7C
Whereas the piece of GIBBO garbage partnering me stupidly propelled us into a ridiculous SIX spades, the contract at THIS table was an equally astonishing TWO (!) spades - thanks again, of COURSE - to the ridiculous bidding of ANOTHER typically braindead GIBBO piece of trash.
Here, the human South was quite obviously operating (either that or he misclicked), because in second seat he opened one DIAMOND rather than 1H on his 3-5-4-1 hand. West overcalled 1H and North bid a normal 1S (although I believe that in the execrable GIBBO system he had the option of bidding a natural and game-forcing 2S - but I prefer his choice of a NORMAL 1S). East passed.
The human South, who for whatever reason had earlier opened a bizarre 1D, now bid 2H. This was his SECOND bizarre bid, because it was defined by GIB as "3+ diamonds; 18-21 HCP; 19-22 total points"; forcing to 3NT". He indeed had the requisite diamond length, as he had four of them. The stuff about "total" points was irrelevant, because that subject is ALWAYS irrelevant in the pathetic GIB definitions, since GIB has no idea about "total" points. BUT the hopeless definition states that South SHOULD have "18-21 HCP" and he actually has ONLY a "mere" 14, a full FOUR fewer than his "promised" MINIMUM (!) and a huge SEVEN less than his potential maximum. It also says that 2H is "forcing to 3NT", yet South has "only" 14 HCP and his partner North's 1S bid could have been made on as FEW as 6 HCP according to the GIB definition.
Quite a LIE by the human, but that is NOT the point of this post. The purpose is NEVER to bash humans, but ALWAYS to bash the truly contemptible and revolting GIB/GIBBO robots, as set forth in the title that Diana gave this essential, hugely popular thread when she had the great inspiration and wisdom to create it. I faithfully use Diana's excellent title as my mission statement in exposing the horrendous atrocities of the contemptible GIBBO robots. And now we get to the BASHING, because, over South's bizarre 2H call, West passes, and...
The GIBBO robot in the North bids... TWO spades. TWO! In fairness, the GIB definition DOES say that this is "forcing to 3NT", but that is ONLY because it respects the "forcing to 3NT" that appeared in South's 2H definition. The GIB definitions adhere to the pattern that was set, and they CANNOT undo a PARTNERSHIP force that was already established. But in any case, a MERE two spades CERTAINLY does not describe the North hand. The full GIB definition is "twice rebiddable spades - whatever the Hell THAT'S supposed to mean-; 6+ total points; forcing to 3NT."
The bottom line is that North COULD have initially bid a natural and game-forcing 2S over West's 1H but (fair enough) opted not to. Then, after his partner South supposedly showed at LEAST 18 HCP, North bid a MERE two spades with his six good spades and 13 HCP - the SAME hand where at MY table, where I had NOT shown any more than a MINIMUM opener (despite the incorrect, piece of trash GIB definition), the North robot took control, Blackwooded, and then blasted into a slam! Where is the LOGIC? Where is the consistency? Where is there even an IOTA of intelligence or bridge ability? Answer: Certainly NOT anywhere in the GIB/GIBBO universe of madness and failure. GIB/GIBBO rots! Please BULLDOZE it!
https://www.bridgeba...HJ%7Cpc%7CCT%7C
#1603
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted 2026-May-24, 18:27
And here, again as promised, is what happened at a THIRD table with the same hand that was discussed in posts 1601 and 1602 above. At this table, NS sailed into an "impossible" 3NT and made...TWELVE (!) tricks - thanks to the ever-hopeless GIBBO robots.
The human South at this table, like the one in the post immediately above, made a truly bizarre call - a DIFFERENT bizarre call from the two that the human in 1602 made. Here, the human bid 3NT (!) over his partner North's 4SF call of 3C. Clubs was the ONLY unbid sui, and South's "stopper" was the...STIFF JACK. Luckily for him, though, and perhaps this is WHY he risked his 3NT call, his opponents were two GIBBO robots, so it was almost guaranteed that he would get an ATROCIOUS "defence", because as the saying goes, "You can't fix stupid", and the GIBBO robots are undeniably and astoundingly stupid.
The easy, simple, straightforward, completely OBVIOUS lead of the club king would have beaten 3NT at lest one trick, as South had only eight top tricks. Instead, Muttonbrain Mike (yes, he's a new member of the GIBBO robot brotherhood - and JUST as stupid as all his other GIBBO brothers and sisters) led - of ALL things - a HEART (!!!) INTO (!) the South declarer who had...OPENED (!) one HEART!!! South politely controlled the gales of laughter welling up inside him. He won dummy's heart queen, knocked out the diamond ace, and had 12 tricks: 6 spades, TWO hearts (the ace and the earlier QUEEN that had been GIFTED to him on the braindead opening lead), three diamonds, and the ace of clubs.
Please dump the GIBBO robots into a river - a very DEEP river with very STRONG currents.
https://www.bridgeba...C8%7Cmc%7C12%7C
The human South at this table, like the one in the post immediately above, made a truly bizarre call - a DIFFERENT bizarre call from the two that the human in 1602 made. Here, the human bid 3NT (!) over his partner North's 4SF call of 3C. Clubs was the ONLY unbid sui, and South's "stopper" was the...STIFF JACK. Luckily for him, though, and perhaps this is WHY he risked his 3NT call, his opponents were two GIBBO robots, so it was almost guaranteed that he would get an ATROCIOUS "defence", because as the saying goes, "You can't fix stupid", and the GIBBO robots are undeniably and astoundingly stupid.
The easy, simple, straightforward, completely OBVIOUS lead of the club king would have beaten 3NT at lest one trick, as South had only eight top tricks. Instead, Muttonbrain Mike (yes, he's a new member of the GIBBO robot brotherhood - and JUST as stupid as all his other GIBBO brothers and sisters) led - of ALL things - a HEART (!!!) INTO (!) the South declarer who had...OPENED (!) one HEART!!! South politely controlled the gales of laughter welling up inside him. He won dummy's heart queen, knocked out the diamond ace, and had 12 tricks: 6 spades, TWO hearts (the ace and the earlier QUEEN that had been GIFTED to him on the braindead opening lead), three diamonds, and the ace of clubs.
Please dump the GIBBO robots into a river - a very DEEP river with very STRONG currents.
https://www.bridgeba...C8%7Cmc%7C12%7C
#1604
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Posted 2026-May-24, 18:46
A shared top for "only" going one down in 1NT. I offer my sincere gratitude to the shared HOPELESSNESS of the two zoned-out, clueless GIBBO dweebs sitting EW and "defending".
The lowbrow jerk in the East wins trick two with his offside club king and then at trick three instead of returning a heart STUPIDLY plays a spade. Of COURSE the dimwit didn't return a HEART because his "partner" West LED a HEART, and these abject GIBBO losers HATE to EVER play partner's suit.
The *****ous dolt didn't even have the WIT to return the correct spade. The M.O.R.O.N. led the 7 from J743.
West won his king and then cashed his heart queen, setting up my jack! Golly gee, HERE'S a thought: Maybe if EAST had played a HEART at trick three, it might have been better for the "defenders". Maybe if a heart had been led THROUGH my remaining J3 doubleton (!), I...would never have scored my jack! If stupidity was a crime, every prison on Earth would be jampacked with GIBBO prisoners!
https://www.bridgeba...CS6%7Cmc%7C6%7C
The lowbrow jerk in the East wins trick two with his offside club king and then at trick three instead of returning a heart STUPIDLY plays a spade. Of COURSE the dimwit didn't return a HEART because his "partner" West LED a HEART, and these abject GIBBO losers HATE to EVER play partner's suit.
The *****ous dolt didn't even have the WIT to return the correct spade. The M.O.R.O.N. led the 7 from J743.
West won his king and then cashed his heart queen, setting up my jack! Golly gee, HERE'S a thought: Maybe if EAST had played a HEART at trick three, it might have been better for the "defenders". Maybe if a heart had been led THROUGH my remaining J3 doubleton (!), I...would never have scored my jack! If stupidity was a crime, every prison on Earth would be jampacked with GIBBO prisoners!
https://www.bridgeba...CS6%7Cmc%7C6%7C
#1605
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted 2026-May-24, 19:13
The GIB definition of 1H is "One-level overcall". You know what, Mr. GIB? It is NOT necessary to include that in your pathetic definition. The WORLD already KNOWS that it is a one-level overcall. Including it in the definition is needless, useless, annoying, and insulting. This type of garbage appears frequently in GIB definitions, but probably ONLY in GIB definitions, because no DECENT definition would ever include such bilge. The definition continues "5+ hearts; 8-17 HCP; 9=19 total points". The stuff about points is BAD, because there are many hands where a perfectly fine one-level overcall could be made on 7 or even 6 HCP, and there are certainly some EIGHTEEN point hands where a "mere" one-level overcall is the best choice. The nonsense about "total" points is well, uh, NONSENSE , as ALWAYS in GIB definitions, since GIB has no comprehension of even the CONCEPT of "total" points.
But the REAL reason I'm posting this hand is the part of the definition that says "5+ hearts", because...guess what...West has only FOUR hearts. His hand is AG62, KQJ6, 97, 1095. I am NOT criticizing his bid, and I might make the same call myself. I have often seen the GIBBO robots overcall on "mere" four-baggers. Fine. No problem. No problem at ALL...but change the definition (!!!) so that it's accurate and truthful! Change it! Change it to either "4+ hearts" OR ""usually 5+ hearts but CAN sometimes be only 4+". Take your pick, but CHANGE it, because as it currently stands (and HAS stood for an unforgivably long time), it is WRONG and it is FALSE.
But I actually have an even better suggestion: Don't waste time changing this definition, because almost ALL GIB definitions require massive changes. Just JUNK every single one of them - the sooner the better - and replace the whole lot of them with DECENT definitions.
The definition of 3S repeats the LIE, as it too promises "5+ hearts". JUNK them...PLEASE!
https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cmc%7C10%7C
But the REAL reason I'm posting this hand is the part of the definition that says "5+ hearts", because...guess what...West has only FOUR hearts. His hand is AG62, KQJ6, 97, 1095. I am NOT criticizing his bid, and I might make the same call myself. I have often seen the GIBBO robots overcall on "mere" four-baggers. Fine. No problem. No problem at ALL...but change the definition (!!!) so that it's accurate and truthful! Change it! Change it to either "4+ hearts" OR ""usually 5+ hearts but CAN sometimes be only 4+". Take your pick, but CHANGE it, because as it currently stands (and HAS stood for an unforgivably long time), it is WRONG and it is FALSE.
But I actually have an even better suggestion: Don't waste time changing this definition, because almost ALL GIB definitions require massive changes. Just JUNK every single one of them - the sooner the better - and replace the whole lot of them with DECENT definitions.
The definition of 3S repeats the LIE, as it too promises "5+ hearts". JUNK them...PLEASE!
https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cmc%7C10%7C
#1606
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Posted Yesterday, 16:35
2D is not the worst bid of all time, but I think 2NT would have been a far superior choice. As for East's 3S call, I think it's a hallmark of the lousy, antiquated GIBBO system that the poor saps are burdened with.
https://www.bridgeba...CST%7Cmc%7C7%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CST%7Cmc%7C7%7C
#1607
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Posted Yesterday, 16:40
Remarkably stupid lead (as you would ALWAYS expect from a typically nauseating GIBBO robot): a spade INTO a declarer who has shown a spade-heart two-suiter! Stupidity pills for breakfast again, Mr. East?
https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cmc%7C10%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cmc%7C10%7C
#1608
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Posted Yesterday, 17:20
First, West basically balances us into game. To be fair, he was quite unlucky there, so I don't blame him at all...but I DO blame him for his VERY foolish double of 4S...and even more so for his ASTONISHINGLY stupid lead of the diamond ace, followed by (!) a second diamond! These GIBBO robots are the WORST!
The GIB definitions on this hand are the pathetic GARBAGE we have come to expect. Here are some examples of the trash, featuring just extracts from several:
1S: "Major suit opening...". Yeah, we know, we KNOW!
2S: "Simple raise...". Yeah, we know, we KNOW!
4C: "...15+ total points". Why the HELL should he have 15 or more "total" points? And, for the record, he DOESN'T have even CLOSE to 15 total points!
4D: "5+ spades; 11+ HCP; 12-15 total points". This tells us NOTHING that we did not already know from his 1S opening...and WHY would he even be voluntarily BIDDING here if he had the minimum that the definition ignorantly claims he is showing? Also, maybe the fact that he is bidding DIAMONDS should be saying something about DIAMONDS, so maybe DIAMONDS should be mentioned in this insipid little FAILURE of a definition. What COMPLETE garbage!
4S: "10+ HCP". Why? Why? WHY? And if he had MORE than 10, since "10+" literally means 10-37, then why in HELL'S name did he bid a mere TWO spades at his first call? Also, GIB again shows that it has absolutely NO comprehension AT ALL of "total" points, since it RIDICULOUSLY states that North has ten PLUS HCP, but (only) ten MINUS "total" points...even THOUGH (sigh, I'll say it AGAIN!) HCP can be less than or equal to "total" points, but they CANNOT be more, because "total" points are determined by STARTING with HCP and then ADDING any applicable distribution points.
West's final double: NOTHING of use. NO new information. What is the double supposed to mean? NO explanation. Why even bother INCLUDING a definition, if it's useless, empty-headed bilge like this?
How long has GIB been in existence? How long have these wretched definitions been in existence? Why, after SO many years, are the definitions SO bad? Why, after SO many years, is the system SO lousy? Why, after SO many years, are the robots SO STUNNINGLY bad at bridge? You know, with some products, services, and applications, things actually IMPROVE with the passage of time!
https://www.bridgeba...ST%7Cpc%7CHJ%7C
The GIB definitions on this hand are the pathetic GARBAGE we have come to expect. Here are some examples of the trash, featuring just extracts from several:
1S: "Major suit opening...". Yeah, we know, we KNOW!
2S: "Simple raise...". Yeah, we know, we KNOW!
4C: "...15+ total points". Why the HELL should he have 15 or more "total" points? And, for the record, he DOESN'T have even CLOSE to 15 total points!
4D: "5+ spades; 11+ HCP; 12-15 total points". This tells us NOTHING that we did not already know from his 1S opening...and WHY would he even be voluntarily BIDDING here if he had the minimum that the definition ignorantly claims he is showing? Also, maybe the fact that he is bidding DIAMONDS should be saying something about DIAMONDS, so maybe DIAMONDS should be mentioned in this insipid little FAILURE of a definition. What COMPLETE garbage!
4S: "10+ HCP". Why? Why? WHY? And if he had MORE than 10, since "10+" literally means 10-37, then why in HELL'S name did he bid a mere TWO spades at his first call? Also, GIB again shows that it has absolutely NO comprehension AT ALL of "total" points, since it RIDICULOUSLY states that North has ten PLUS HCP, but (only) ten MINUS "total" points...even THOUGH (sigh, I'll say it AGAIN!) HCP can be less than or equal to "total" points, but they CANNOT be more, because "total" points are determined by STARTING with HCP and then ADDING any applicable distribution points.
West's final double: NOTHING of use. NO new information. What is the double supposed to mean? NO explanation. Why even bother INCLUDING a definition, if it's useless, empty-headed bilge like this?
How long has GIB been in existence? How long have these wretched definitions been in existence? Why, after SO many years, are the definitions SO bad? Why, after SO many years, is the system SO lousy? Why, after SO many years, are the robots SO STUNNINGLY bad at bridge? You know, with some products, services, and applications, things actually IMPROVE with the passage of time!
https://www.bridgeba...ST%7Cpc%7CHJ%7C
#1609
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 17:36
We scored 100 % on the board anyway, but WHY is North leading a DIAMOND?
Also, note that the GIB definition of his double stupidly and incorrectly claims that he shows "10+ HCP" and "10- total points". First, "10+" literally means 10-37, so if he ACTUALLY HAD 37...or even ELEVEN (!), then WHY, pray tell, Mr. GI-IGNORANT-B, did he earlier bid ONLY 2S? Huh? Huh? Cat got your tongue, Mr. GIB? And for the record, he does NOT have "10+ HCP" here - he has (only) SEVEN!
Furthermore, the usual GIB ignorance of "total" points is exposed for what - the ten millionth time? Perhaps not, but it SEEMS like it, since I regularly see this astonishing stupidity in the pathetic GIB definitions. Please change the definitions...or better yet...MUCH better yet...please BURN them, please incinerate the wretched GIBBO system, and please throw the hopeless GIBBO robots into a deep, dark, swirling river...and replace them ALL with DECENT ones.
https://www.bridgeba...CH3%7Cmc%7C7%7C
Also, note that the GIB definition of his double stupidly and incorrectly claims that he shows "10+ HCP" and "10- total points". First, "10+" literally means 10-37, so if he ACTUALLY HAD 37...or even ELEVEN (!), then WHY, pray tell, Mr. GI-IGNORANT-B, did he earlier bid ONLY 2S? Huh? Huh? Cat got your tongue, Mr. GIB? And for the record, he does NOT have "10+ HCP" here - he has (only) SEVEN!
Furthermore, the usual GIB ignorance of "total" points is exposed for what - the ten millionth time? Perhaps not, but it SEEMS like it, since I regularly see this astonishing stupidity in the pathetic GIB definitions. Please change the definitions...or better yet...MUCH better yet...please BURN them, please incinerate the wretched GIBBO system, and please throw the hopeless GIBBO robots into a deep, dark, swirling river...and replace them ALL with DECENT ones.
https://www.bridgeba...CH3%7Cmc%7C7%7C
#1610
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Posted Yesterday, 18:41
This could ONLY happen in a game with GIBBO robots.
On second thought, I'm probably wrong about that. It might also occur in a game where the participants had all dosed themselves heavily - VERY heavily - with strong psychedelics.
I know some human players, including some very good ones, who would open my hand (South) 1NT regularly. Personally, I would NOT - in a "real" F2F bridge game with humans. But in the twisted Bizarro World[/u] of GIBBO, I VERY often operate and/or do things that I would not DREAM of doing in "real" bridge with humans. I respect human players, while I loathe, detest, and have nothing but the deepest contempt for the execrable, hopeless monstrosities known as GIBBO robots. Knowing that my robot "partner" and my two robot opponents are ALL ignorant bozos, I figure the odds are two to one that my operations will succeed, because I'm fooling TWO opponents but only one "partner", and that "partner" is an incompetent imbecile anyway, so I don't even care if I fool him.
So, I opened 1NT and North raised to three. When West (surprisingly, given that he's a GIBBO robot!) made the BEST lead of a club, I immediately thought, "Doctor Ben, your operation was a failure and your patient is about to die. Maybe you should stop this sort of nonsense and just bid normally from now on."
My only hope was that West's 7 of clubs lead was away from the ACE. If so, I would win my stiff king and make my contract - maybe even with overtricks, if the heart king was onside and I had the courage (or crazed recklessness?) to hook it.
But: No luck, because East had the ace and won it at trick one. The fact that I had to play my (stiff) KING (!) under his ace kind of gave the show away! "Oh well," I thought, "Looks like a bottom, but maybe it will be a good wake-up call for me to stop this sort of nonsense in my bidding."
BUT - lo and behold - at trick two, East played...the three of...HEARTS! Obviously, I could have slid this around to my jack in dummy, but that would have been MADNESS. By winning my ace, I could cash out for down one, which seemed like the best I could do, having put myself in this HOPELESS contract with my silly 1NT opening. It was ALREADY astounding that I had escaped a club return at trick two, and even a GIBBO robot, the absolute lowest of the low and worst of the worst, even HE would not be SO stupid as to FAIL to return a club AND to underlead the heart king. I was NOT going to look this gift horse in the mouth. I popped my ace and prepared to go down "only" one, hoping that I might salvage at least a few matchpoints from my bidding debacle.
BUT...a funny thing happened on the way to down one, because...I DIDN'T go down one. I...made (!!!) 3NT (!!!)...with...AN OVERTRICK!!!!! As I stated in the first sentence of this post, "This could ONLY happen in a game with GIBBO robots", and on reflection, I think I was RIGHT the first time! Even addled by psychedelics, NO "bridge player" EXCEPT a GIB or GIBBO monstrosity would ever "defend" as ABYSMALLY as these incompetent, braindead GIBBO losers! Because...
Not ONLY did the imbecile in the East incredibly FAIL to return a club, but he also had the heart king, and...
On the run of the diamonds, EW pitched ALL their clubs except for West's (high) jack, so it was now SAFE for me to lead dummy's heart 10 to establish an extra heart trick, since after it lost to the enemy king, they could ONLY take ONE club. Thus, I led the heart 10 and was very surprised to see that EAST had it. So much the BETTER, however, because EAST had thrown all his clubs (!). He won his heart king and shifted to the 6 of spades. No problem. I won my ace. "Nice play," the late great Eddie Kantar mockingly said from Above. I then cashed my now established heart queen...dropping BOTH remaining enemy hearts (because West had pitched from his four-bagger), which meant that at trick 12 I could ALSO cash my LAST heart, the 6, before surrendering trick 13.
I have perpetrated some bad defences myself from time to time, as have my human partners and human opponents. NO ONE is flawless (or even CLOSE to flawless) at bridge, NO ONE. Even the best in the world make mistakes. But of ALL the bad defences I have seen in my many decades of bridge play, THIS one by THESE two GIBBO robots...letting me take TEN tricks...after WINNING the club ace at trick one and seeing my club KING fall under it...is DEFINITELY one of the worst of all time. Probably not [u]THE worst, but as close as you can come without being a conjoined twin. The GIBBO robots are TRULY reprehensible.
https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CSQ%7C
On second thought, I'm probably wrong about that. It might also occur in a game where the participants had all dosed themselves heavily - VERY heavily - with strong psychedelics.
I know some human players, including some very good ones, who would open my hand (South) 1NT regularly. Personally, I would NOT - in a "real" F2F bridge game with humans. But in the twisted Bizarro World[/u] of GIBBO, I VERY often operate and/or do things that I would not DREAM of doing in "real" bridge with humans. I respect human players, while I loathe, detest, and have nothing but the deepest contempt for the execrable, hopeless monstrosities known as GIBBO robots. Knowing that my robot "partner" and my two robot opponents are ALL ignorant bozos, I figure the odds are two to one that my operations will succeed, because I'm fooling TWO opponents but only one "partner", and that "partner" is an incompetent imbecile anyway, so I don't even care if I fool him.
So, I opened 1NT and North raised to three. When West (surprisingly, given that he's a GIBBO robot!) made the BEST lead of a club, I immediately thought, "Doctor Ben, your operation was a failure and your patient is about to die. Maybe you should stop this sort of nonsense and just bid normally from now on."
My only hope was that West's 7 of clubs lead was away from the ACE. If so, I would win my stiff king and make my contract - maybe even with overtricks, if the heart king was onside and I had the courage (or crazed recklessness?) to hook it.
But: No luck, because East had the ace and won it at trick one. The fact that I had to play my (stiff) KING (!) under his ace kind of gave the show away! "Oh well," I thought, "Looks like a bottom, but maybe it will be a good wake-up call for me to stop this sort of nonsense in my bidding."
BUT - lo and behold - at trick two, East played...the three of...HEARTS! Obviously, I could have slid this around to my jack in dummy, but that would have been MADNESS. By winning my ace, I could cash out for down one, which seemed like the best I could do, having put myself in this HOPELESS contract with my silly 1NT opening. It was ALREADY astounding that I had escaped a club return at trick two, and even a GIBBO robot, the absolute lowest of the low and worst of the worst, even HE would not be SO stupid as to FAIL to return a club AND to underlead the heart king. I was NOT going to look this gift horse in the mouth. I popped my ace and prepared to go down "only" one, hoping that I might salvage at least a few matchpoints from my bidding debacle.
BUT...a funny thing happened on the way to down one, because...I DIDN'T go down one. I...made (!!!) 3NT (!!!)...with...AN OVERTRICK!!!!! As I stated in the first sentence of this post, "This could ONLY happen in a game with GIBBO robots", and on reflection, I think I was RIGHT the first time! Even addled by psychedelics, NO "bridge player" EXCEPT a GIB or GIBBO monstrosity would ever "defend" as ABYSMALLY as these incompetent, braindead GIBBO losers! Because...
Not ONLY did the imbecile in the East incredibly FAIL to return a club, but he also had the heart king, and...
On the run of the diamonds, EW pitched ALL their clubs except for West's (high) jack, so it was now SAFE for me to lead dummy's heart 10 to establish an extra heart trick, since after it lost to the enemy king, they could ONLY take ONE club. Thus, I led the heart 10 and was very surprised to see that EAST had it. So much the BETTER, however, because EAST had thrown all his clubs (!). He won his heart king and shifted to the 6 of spades. No problem. I won my ace. "Nice play," the late great Eddie Kantar mockingly said from Above. I then cashed my now established heart queen...dropping BOTH remaining enemy hearts (because West had pitched from his four-bagger), which meant that at trick 12 I could ALSO cash my LAST heart, the 6, before surrendering trick 13.
I have perpetrated some bad defences myself from time to time, as have my human partners and human opponents. NO ONE is flawless (or even CLOSE to flawless) at bridge, NO ONE. Even the best in the world make mistakes. But of ALL the bad defences I have seen in my many decades of bridge play, THIS one by THESE two GIBBO robots...letting me take TEN tricks...after WINNING the club ace at trick one and seeing my club KING fall under it...is DEFINITELY one of the worst of all time. Probably not [u]THE worst, but as close as you can come without being a conjoined twin. The GIBBO robots are TRULY reprehensible.
https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CSQ%7C
#1611
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 1,627
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 19:40
We obviously got a good score for 7S making (even with no overtricks - ha, ha), so I'm certainly not complaining about the result, but I would just like to mention that...North is a madman!
His (typically poorly defined, in a typically pathetic GIB definition) 3NT bid really makes no sense, given the primitive, inferior GIBBO system. It would make sense in a modern, decent system, in a day and age where there are several effective uses of 3NT as an artificial bid, but I suspect that the fleabrained GIBBO twit in the North was foolishly offering it as a contract, although the piece of garbage GIB definition of COURSE gave NO indication of WHAT the bid was trying to say. But the silly 3NT call was the LEAST of the sins committed by the clueless jabroni on this hand.
Over my 5C response to KCB, he bid 5NT asking for kings. Fair enough. BUT...
When I showed NO KINGS (!), he then JUMPED to SEVEN (!) spades! First, if he was going to bid SEVEN spades anyway...EVEN if I showed NO kings, why did he even BOTHER bidding 5NT? He could have just leapt directly to 7S over my 5C bid, since he apparently believed that he didn't need any kings from me!
Second, and MUCH more importantly, the fact that I had NO kings meant that...DUH...I did not have the king of CLUBS! He MIGHT have noticed (if he bothered looking at his OWN hand) that HE did not have it either...but that he had TWO clubs ( the 10 and 8) in his hand, so where the HELL was the second one going to go? Not on a diamond...because he ALSO knew that I did not have the king of diamonds! And I had shown LONG clubs, so he wasn't going to be able to pitch enough of them from MY hand, besides which he probably NEEDED...DUH...CLUB tricks from me!
He basically bid this grand KNOWING that it was at best on a finesse...and, given the auction, that finesse rated to LOSE, because WEST was the opponent who had shown values (with his 2D bid).
VERY luckily, the club king was onside and there were no foul splits anywhere, so the grand rolled home, but that good result does NOT mean that North is a hero who bid it well - it means that he is an IMBECILE who bid it VERY poorly and LUCKED OUT!
As a minor side issue, just for amusement, check out the laughable (what else?) GIB definition of West's 2D, which claims that it shows "11-16 total points". Uhh, NO! Sorry, Mr. GIB, but LOOK at West's hand. Even though you have absolutely NO comprehension of "total" points, perhaps even YOU can see that West is nowhere NEAR having "11-16". He has a mere...FIVE (!) HCP, and frankly there is no reason to add even ONE more, since there is at this point NO indication that EW have any sort of fit.
The nonsense NEVER ends when you have hopeless, pathetic GIB definitions, an antiquated, illogical, HIGHLY flawed GIBBO system, and a collective group of GIBBO robots who are among the worst "bridge players" since time immemorial. There was a professional wrestler for the WWF (later renamed WWE) named Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. His character was a garbageman, and his catch phrase was "It's time to take out the trash" .Mr. Droese's heyday in the wrestling business was, as far as I know, decades ago (1994-1996 in the WWF), but his catchphrase would be VERY applicable TODAY for ALL things GIB and GIBBO related.
https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C13%7C
His (typically poorly defined, in a typically pathetic GIB definition) 3NT bid really makes no sense, given the primitive, inferior GIBBO system. It would make sense in a modern, decent system, in a day and age where there are several effective uses of 3NT as an artificial bid, but I suspect that the fleabrained GIBBO twit in the North was foolishly offering it as a contract, although the piece of garbage GIB definition of COURSE gave NO indication of WHAT the bid was trying to say. But the silly 3NT call was the LEAST of the sins committed by the clueless jabroni on this hand.
Over my 5C response to KCB, he bid 5NT asking for kings. Fair enough. BUT...
When I showed NO KINGS (!), he then JUMPED to SEVEN (!) spades! First, if he was going to bid SEVEN spades anyway...EVEN if I showed NO kings, why did he even BOTHER bidding 5NT? He could have just leapt directly to 7S over my 5C bid, since he apparently believed that he didn't need any kings from me!
Second, and MUCH more importantly, the fact that I had NO kings meant that...DUH...I did not have the king of CLUBS! He MIGHT have noticed (if he bothered looking at his OWN hand) that HE did not have it either...but that he had TWO clubs ( the 10 and 8) in his hand, so where the HELL was the second one going to go? Not on a diamond...because he ALSO knew that I did not have the king of diamonds! And I had shown LONG clubs, so he wasn't going to be able to pitch enough of them from MY hand, besides which he probably NEEDED...DUH...CLUB tricks from me!
He basically bid this grand KNOWING that it was at best on a finesse...and, given the auction, that finesse rated to LOSE, because WEST was the opponent who had shown values (with his 2D bid).
VERY luckily, the club king was onside and there were no foul splits anywhere, so the grand rolled home, but that good result does NOT mean that North is a hero who bid it well - it means that he is an IMBECILE who bid it VERY poorly and LUCKED OUT!
As a minor side issue, just for amusement, check out the laughable (what else?) GIB definition of West's 2D, which claims that it shows "11-16 total points". Uhh, NO! Sorry, Mr. GIB, but LOOK at West's hand. Even though you have absolutely NO comprehension of "total" points, perhaps even YOU can see that West is nowhere NEAR having "11-16". He has a mere...FIVE (!) HCP, and frankly there is no reason to add even ONE more, since there is at this point NO indication that EW have any sort of fit.
The nonsense NEVER ends when you have hopeless, pathetic GIB definitions, an antiquated, illogical, HIGHLY flawed GIBBO system, and a collective group of GIBBO robots who are among the worst "bridge players" since time immemorial. There was a professional wrestler for the WWF (later renamed WWE) named Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. His character was a garbageman, and his catch phrase was "It's time to take out the trash" .Mr. Droese's heyday in the wrestling business was, as far as I know, decades ago (1994-1996 in the WWF), but his catchphrase would be VERY applicable TODAY for ALL things GIB and GIBBO related.
https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C13%7C
#1612
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 1,627
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 19:52
Typically hopeless "defence". Another complete zero for the GIBBO robots to proudly add to their huge collection - the ONLY thing that they seem to take pride in.
https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cpc%7CCQ%7C
https://www.bridgeba...H9%7Cpc%7CCQ%7C
#1613
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 1,627
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 19:58
With GIBBO, your supposed "opponents" actually help you FAR more than your SUPPOSED "partner" (who seems to exist solely to torment you). Example of my oh-so-helpful and very kind and generous "opponents":
https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CHQ%7C
#1614
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 1,627
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 20:04
4D? Why is West bidding 4D with his relative dogmeat? I could understand 3H or 4H, but four diamonds is crazy.
https://www.bridgeba...CDA%7Cmc%7C9%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CDA%7Cmc%7C9%7C
#1615
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 1,627
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 20:11
OMARHEUM has sent another hand. He wrote "99% for this hand where West makes a foolish play at trick 1."
Yes, INDEED! I suspect that West began the day with his usual GIBBO breakfast of a huge bowl of stupidity pills, sprinkled with some ripe blueberries and topped with skim milk. Yummy, yummy, yummy, West has love in his tummy (thank you, Ohio Express). Sadly, however, he has no brains in his head.
https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cmc%7C11%7C
Yes, INDEED! I suspect that West began the day with his usual GIBBO breakfast of a huge bowl of stupidity pills, sprinkled with some ripe blueberries and topped with skim milk. Yummy, yummy, yummy, West has love in his tummy (thank you, Ohio Express). Sadly, however, he has no brains in his head.
https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cmc%7C11%7C