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Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: Five. One to change it; their partner to stare at them in complete confusion; one opposing player to ask the partner what they think the changer means by this; the other opponent to complain to the tournament director that there was a deliberate hesitation before the light bulb was changed; and the tournament director to agree and have the old bulb put back in.
Changing a liight bulb
#2
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Posted 2005-August-25, 22:17
shoeless, on Aug 24 2005, 12:31 PM, said:
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
The answer is 52
one to change the light bulb
one to oversee and ensure that no infractions occurred during the process of changing the light bulb, and
50 more to discuss how the light bulb was changed, and to explore whether or not there might be a better system or method for changing it.
(Well, what did you expect for after midnight? Letterman?)
"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!"
#3
- Hideous Rabbit
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Posted 2005-August-25, 22:59
shoeless, on Aug 24 2005, 12:31 PM, said:
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
What is the vulnerability?
#4
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Posted 2005-August-26, 13:25
Q: How many tournament directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter. The Appeals Committee will only change it back again.
A: It doesn't matter. The Appeals Committee will only change it back again.
When Senators have had their sport
And sealed the Law by vote,
It little matters what they thought -
We hang for what they wrote.
And sealed the Law by vote,
It little matters what they thought -
We hang for what they wrote.
#5
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Posted 2005-August-26, 13:28
shoeless, on Aug 24 2005, 12:31 PM, said:
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A. None, because no one noticed that it was burned out
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
#6
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Posted 2005-August-26, 13:29
shoeless, on Aug 24 2005, 12:31 PM, said:
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A: Depends on the movement
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
#7
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Posted 2005-August-28, 18:45
Vulnerability switch on - nonvulnerable swith off!
A promise made is a debt unpaid....R Service
#8
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Posted 2005-August-28, 18:56
Trumpace, on Aug 25 2005, 11:59 PM, said:
shoeless, on Aug 24 2005, 12:31 PM, said:
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
What is the vulnerability?
ahahahahahahahhaha
"Paul Krugman is a stupid person's idea of what a smart person sounds like." Newt Gingrich (paraphrased)
#9
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Posted 2005-August-28, 23:44
5.
Declarer changes it his way, while the 4 kibitzers comment loudly that there are better ways of changing it.
------------
1. Just one person needed to change the lightbulb. But if you bought a strong Italian lightbulb system you won't need to change it so often!
Declarer changes it his way, while the 4 kibitzers comment loudly that there are better ways of changing it.
------------
1. Just one person needed to change the lightbulb. But if you bought a strong Italian lightbulb system you won't need to change it so often!
"More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits."
John Nelson.
John Nelson.
#10
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Posted 2005-August-29, 00:21
Quote
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
None; a light bulb will always remain a light bulb.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
#11
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Posted 2005-August-29, 01:15
Winstonm, on Aug 29 2005, 06:21 AM, said:
Quote
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
None; a light bulb will always remain a light bulb.
Dunno about that. The filament breaks and it no longer produces light: seems a fundamentally different object
.But really, the answer is: It takes one dummy! [meant to be spoken. insert your own punctuation.. I recommend , or :]
Andy
#12
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Posted 2005-August-29, 02:51
Why can't Bobby Wolff* change a light bulb?
Because he simply holds the new bulb in place and expects the world to revolve around him.
Eric
* Name picked at random. But you can reasonably use any professional bridge player, I think.
Because he simply holds the new bulb in place and expects the world to revolve around him.
Eric
* Name picked at random. But you can reasonably use any professional bridge player, I think.
#13
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Posted 2005-August-29, 07:45
It all depends; Are they playing 1430 or 0314 roman keycard lightbulb responses?
Anyway come to lightbulb base online to play and uday or fred will solve your lightbulb changing problems. Better than OK lightbulb.
Anyway come to lightbulb base online to play and uday or fred will solve your lightbulb changing problems. Better than OK lightbulb.
"More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits."
John Nelson.
John Nelson.
#14
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Posted 2005-August-29, 08:20
None, I pshyced it is not really out, I have turned off the electric
#15
- The Abbess
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Posted 2005-August-29, 08:26
You can't change a lightbulb unless you can demonstrate that you installed it by a misclick.
The world would be such a happy place, if only everyone played Acol :) --- TramTicket
#16
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Posted 2005-August-29, 11:26
Al_U_Card, on Aug 26 2005, 02:28 PM, said:
shoeless, on Aug 24 2005, 12:31 PM, said:
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A. None, because no one noticed that it was burned out
lololol
This reminded me of something that allegedly happened at a major tournament (maybe summer nationals/ can't recall the exact years) in Boston many years ago.
A streaker reportedly ran through the main ballroom where the main event was being played and few if any of the players noticed (or so the story goes). I certainly didn't see this person. I was too busy making multiple errors.
"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!"
#17
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- Location:Work in the South Bronx, NYC, USA
- Interests:My personal interests are my family and my friends. I am extremely concerned about the lives and futures of the kids (and their families) that I work with. I care about the friends I have made on BBO. Also, I am extremely concerned about the environment/ ecology/ wildlife/ the little planet that we call Earth. How much more of the world's habitat and food supply for animals do we plan on destroying. How many more wetlands are we going to drain, fill, and build on? How many more sand dunes are we going to knock down in the interests of high-rise hotels or luxury homes?
Posted 2005-August-29, 11:28
EricK, on Aug 29 2005, 03:51 AM, said:
Why can't Bobby Wolff* change a light bulb?
Because he simply holds the new bulb in place and expects the world to revolve around him.
Eric
* Name picked at random. But you can reasonably use any professional bridge player, I think.
Because he simply holds the new bulb in place and expects the world to revolve around him.
Eric
* Name picked at random. But you can reasonably use any professional bridge player, I think.
Ouch!!!
"That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!"
#18
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Posted 2005-August-29, 13:48
hi
.. in Ireland , at least 2 bridge players would be needed.. one to hold the light bulb and another to pour drink into him until the room started to spin.
Rgds Dog
.. in Ireland , at least 2 bridge players would be needed.. one to hold the light bulb and another to pour drink into him until the room started to spin.
Rgds Dog
ManoVerboard
#19
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Posted 2005-August-29, 14:18
Quote
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
A. Do they have a current convention card?
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
#20
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Posted 2005-August-30, 00:40
Q: How many Contract Bridge players does it take to change a Light Bulb?
Undiscussed.
Undiscussed.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."