[ArtK78]

On Sunday, March 7, 2010, about 150 friends and family members gathered to celebrate the life of Dave Treadwell. Dave died on January 15, 2010, at the age of 97. Only two weeks earlier he had played in the Dave Treadwell Sectional in Wilmington, Delaware. I note that at the sectional Dave finished 2nd in the Swiss Teams on Sunday, second in the Monday Afternoon A/X pairs, sixth in the Tuesday evening stratied pairs, and fourth in the Thursday morning stratified pairs (playing with 20 year old Ethan Kotkin). In the course of the five-day sectional, playing with a number of different partners, none of whom were of national stature, Dave won over 13 masterpoints. I regret that I was unable to attend that sectional, as it was the last that Dave played.

Shortly afterward, Dave went into the hospital. While there, he was able to see his just born sixth great-grandchild, Anderson Treadwell, by means of the internet. Dave died a few days after Anderson's birth.

The celebration was held at the Wilmington Country Club in Wilmington, Delaware. Family members present were his daughter, Martha Karlovetz, and her husband, Lamar, his son, David R. Treadwell, Jr., and his wife, Tina, his grandson, David R. Treadwell, III, and his wife, Lynn, his grandson, Jon Treadwell, and great-grandchildren David R. Treadwell, IV, Jared Favero and Anderson Treadwell. Also present was his nephew, Dan Treadwell, the son of Dave's younger brother, Tom, who could not attend. [I hope I have this all correct]

There was a slideshow consisting of about a hundred photographs depicting some of Dave's life, family and friends. Following the slideshow was a program which consisted of a procession of speakers who each had a special perspective of some aspect of Dave's life and personality. Martha Karlovetz, Dave's daughter, was the Mistress of Ceremonies. She spoke of growing up with Dave and her mother and the rest of the family. Following Martha were a procession of Dave's friends: Bill Pollock, president of the USBF, me, Arnie Fisher, Pat Civale, Meyer and Ethan Kotkin, Rick Rowland, Alan Hodesblatt, Howard Kahlenberg, Joann Glasson, Bob Gookin and Richard Colker. Some of those names are not well known outside of the immediate Wilmington bridge community. Some of those names are well known. All of us had interesting and sometimes funny stories to tell.

After that procession of friends came some of the members of Dave's family. Dan Treadwell, Dave's nephew, David R. Treadwell, III, his grandson (google David Treadwell and 99% of the entries will be DRT III, who is a vice president of Microsoft), Jon Treadwell, another grandson of Dave's, and finally his son, David R. Treadwell, Jr. Much of what the family members had to say about their father, grandfather, or uncle had been said in many ways before, but their perspective and the effect on the audience was different.

In all, it was a remarkable afternoon spent honoring and celebrating a remarkable man.

For those of you unfamiliar with Dave (there may be one or two of you out there), here is a short resume of Dave's major achievements as a bridge player from the back page of the program:

26,000 masterpoints

1998 - Inducted into the ACBL Hall of Fame

1985 - First - Mixed Board-a-Match Teams with Evelyn Levitt, Bill and Roxanne Pollack and Dorothy and Alan Truscott.

1982 - First, Keohane Swiss Teams with David Ashley, Martha Beecher, Garey Hayden, Gaylor Kasle and Garnet Snyder.

1962 - Second, Rockwell Mixed Pairs with Evelyn Levitt.

1960 - Second, Mitchell Board-a-Match Teams with J.R. Hughes, Marvin Paulshock and Eli Reich.

Dave was best known for his terrible jokes. Prior to the program, Arnie Fisher produced a book that was found in Dave's home. The title of the book was "Dave Treadwell's Funniest Jokes." The book was about 150 pages long, and all of the pages were blank.

Meyer Kotkin told a story of his first meeting with Dave. It was after the evening session at a local sectional. Meyer was new to the area and he didn't know anything about Dave. The first thing that Dave asked Meyer is "What do you call a deer with no eyes?" Meyer couldn't come up with anything, so Dave asked him "No idear?" Not waiting for the inevitable groan, Dave continued "What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?" "Still no idear?" And, before Meyer could escape, Dave went on "What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?" Meyer couldn't get away, so he let Dave answer. "Still no f***in' idear?"

Dave then recruited Meyer for the main event - a game of Creights. Meyer agreed to play on the condition that Dave never tell him the deer joke again. Meyer was told that their were two rules of Creights. The first is that he would not be told the rules. The second was that the main point of the game was to heap abuse upon your opponents. Meyer is a mathematician for the Army. In addition to Meyer, Dave recruited Phil Brady and myself as the other players. Meyer commented that in the Army, this is what is known as a target-rich environment. In any event, the game started, and Meyer was told what he could do - "Play a Queen, a heart, and eight or a nine!" And so it went.

The only other joke I will relate may be Dave's best (or worst) ever. Rich Colker related Dave's tale of the British tea connoisseur. He had sampled teas the world over, from the most mundane to the most exotic. His collection of teas was vast. Word came to him of a truly unusual tea made from Koalas in Australia. He inquired of the Australian Ministry about the tea and was told that it was a protected national treasure and could not be shipped out of the country. Furthermore, it was produced in only one place - a tea company in a small outback town called Mercy. The tea connoisseur had to sample this tea. So he flies into Sydney, rents a four-wheel drive vehicle and heads for the outback. Eventually the road ends, and he proceeds on foot. After many hours he comes to a clearing and sees what amounts to the town of Mercy, a dirt street and four or five recognizable buildings. One of the buildings had a sign on it identifying it as the Mercy Tea Company. This was the place. The connoisseur knocked on what passed as a door and eventually a grizzelled old man came out. The connoisseur told him of his quest for the tea made from Koalas that he had heard of. The grizzled old man led him to the back of the building to a dark, dank room. In the room were a number of cages with Koalas. The man opened one of the cages, took out a truly mangey Koala. He put the Koala into a blender, added some hot water and turned on the blender full power. Instantanously there was a terrible mess consisting of blood, bones and fur. After a minute or so, the man turned off the blender, poured the contents into a large cup and handed it to the tea connoisseur. He stared at this incredibly obnoxious mess for a moment, and asked the grizzled old man if he couldn't sift out some of the larger chunks from this mess. To which the old man replied:

"My dear sir, the Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained!"