[chappa_dog]

You humans are lucky. With an average life expectancy of more than 70 years, you have a lot of opportunities and plenty of time to collect masterpoints for a lifemaster title.
For us dogs, it is much harder. Not every breed has an expectation to live for even 12 years. We do not have a lot of opportunities to play in bridge tournaments during our lives. We cannot just accumulate the necessary amount of accidentally received masterpoints by simply presenting ourselves during the games. To become a lifemaster dog, we have to struggle to win. Fortunately, it is not as hard as it seems.
As you know, dogs are not too good in abstract thinking. There are no Einsteins or Freuds among us. But you do not need to be one to become a bridge lifemaster. To accomplish today’s requirements, you do not need to win against Hamman and Zia. To successfully play against the average human being, your intellectual potential is more than enough. There is only one trick you need to learn to start winning. Here is it - you need to actually use your brain during the game.
Let us take a simple example from my recent IMP game with a picked up human partner. He was South and he was a declarer in 3NT contract with the cards shown below:

None vul
..............s. 92
..............h. KQ105
..............d. J7
..............c. AQ1063
d. 3
..............s. AQJ4
..............h. J962
..............d. K10
..............c. J52

No Collie or Shepherd would ever declare this contract. Even a couple of Pekingese usually manage to find the 4-4 in hearts. But it is not to unusual to see that some of homo-so-called-sapiens jump to 3NT with South’s cards after 1 club opening from their partners, as it was done by my dear partner.
Although it is easy to see what they can lose, I still fail to see what they can win by bidding like that. He probably wanted to ensure that he will be able to use his declarer skills, expecting to be better than a small Yorkie terrier.
He got what he deserved. Diamond led to the Ace, and the diamond’s return left him with the suit wide open. What to do next?
Some breeds like Chow Chow have problems with mathematics, they cannot count up to more then 5. They can count four legs and a tail but that is their limit. But even Chow Chows are able to count the losers here: 4 legs/4 diamonds and a tail/the Ace of hearts. In the 3 No Trump game, if you lose 4 legs and a tail – you fail!
Poor Chow Chows, they are not able to count winners. Seeing too many losers, they start to collect their tricks and hope for the best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
We terriers and you humans could do better. We can actually count. Of course the contract is a terrible one. But we are lucky it is IMPs, not matchpoints. If we can bring the contract home, we will not lose too much. Could we count 9 tricks without giving a trick to opponents? It means 9 possible tricks without touching hearts. If King of clubs will be in the West hand and King of spade in the East hand we can take 9 tricks (5 in clubs + 3 in spades + King of diamond). It is not a good chance, but it is the only chance.
This time it would work.

..............s. 92
..............h. KQ105
..............d. J7
..............c. AQ1063
s. 1075............................s. K863
h. A3...............................h. 874
d. Q9532.........................d. A864
c. K97............................c. 84
..............s. AQJ4
..............h. J962
..............d. K10
..............c. J52

Just note: in order to take 3 tricks in spades, we need to make a spade finesse twice. This means we need to be cautious with our entries, we cannot take all clubs before touching spades. For example, on the third move, we can make the club finesse to the 10, back by finesse in spades and make another finesse in clubs. Now we can take all clubs and return to the hand by the second spade finesse to take the two last tricks.

The lesson is simple - before playing a card, make sure that your plan gives you a chance for a good result. Even a bad chance is better than no chance at all.

Sorry, I see a squirrel, gotta run. See you later. Woof!

[ArtK78]

It is obvious to me why chappa_dog wants to play in 4♥ rather than in 3NT. It gives him the opportunity to ruff.

[chappa_dog]

Hi! Nice to see you again! You know what happened after I left you last time? I caught the squirrel! Err... Almost… At the very last moment it jumped on a tree.
You know what else? Yesterday I played in a tournament partnering with my master and he made a very lucky slam. Well…Almost… At the very last moment he messed up.
Sometimes I think we could have a much more successful partnership if he would run after squirrels and let me to take care of the bridge contracts. Oh well…
Let us look at the latest performance of my master together:

...........s. J83
...........h. K97532
...........d. J85
...........c. 8
d. 7
...........s. AK104
...........h. A108
...........d. A9
...........c. A1032

Sitting South he started with 2NT bid. I transferred 3 diamonds, East double, and Partner accepted the transfer.
Now I bid 4 hearts and my master bid 4NT asking for control cards. Why are you humans always so aggressive with strong hands? Didn’t he already show his power house by the opening bid? His hand with 4 aces is good, but I am expecting something like this. It was my turn to try for a slam with an appropriate hand. He did not trust me to make a good decision? Sure, I am just a small Yorkie, but I am not a coward! I am not afraid to bark at any dog. Of course, I would prefer for my master to pick me up in his hands if a big dog takes my barking too seriously, but that is not the point here. The point is – if you are playing with a partner, you have to trust him. There is no way to get good results without partnership trust.
Ok, let’s continue. I bid 5 diamonds to show my king of hearts and Partner bid 5 spades to ask if I have the queen of hearts. Why he did it is beyond my understanding. I hope he was not going to bid 7 if I confirm the existence of queen of trumps. At least, no sane dog would even think of doing it. But if he did not plan to bid 7 hearts and we are already past 5 hearts there is only one possible contract left. Why bother to ask me any additional questions if we are doomed to play 6 hearts no matter what I will answer? I guess it is some kind of religious ceremony for people with certain bridge beliefs.
Anyway, I bid 5NT, denying the queen and he bid the hearts slam. As you can see, he got lucky to find my singleton in the correct suit. If my black suits were reversed - 3 clubs and one spade – the contract 6 hearts would have no chances at all.
Even now the contract is not a desired one. In addition to luck in trumps he needs to find the queen of spades.
My beloved master started the declarer play as nicely as if he was a Collie. He let East take the first trick on the 10 of diamonds. East continued by King of diamonds and declarer took that trick (West gave the 3 of diamonds). Now my Partner played off the Ace and King of hearts. The lucky bum – Defenders’ trumps divided equally. If only the spade finesse will be right…
In order to take care of possible singleton queen of spades, my partner led spade to the Ace … good boy. Now he needed to return to the table by trumping clubs. Declarer played the Ace of clubs and, to my amusement, East placed the king of clubs on the table. Following his plan, Partner played a small club, ruffling it. East played the jack!
You know what my dearest master did here? Would you like to know how that tailless monkey played? He made the spade finesse! It did not work and the slam was down one. If you do not know by now why I am so angry, look at the full distribution:

.....................s. J83
.....................h. K97532
.....................d. J85
.....................c. 8
s. Q752...................................s. 96
h. Q6......................................h. J4
d. 73......................................d. KQ10642
c. 97654................................c. KQJ
....................s. AK104
....................h. A108
....................d. A9
....................c. A1032

After East played the King and Jack of clubs, even a poodle could visualize the possibility of KQJ without small ones in the East hand. It would cost absolutely nothing to test it. Just cross to your hand by trumping the last diamond and ruff one more club. It would work at the table and the 10 of clubs would be the 12th trick. But even if it didn’t, you would not lose anything. You would be able to try your spade finesse now.
The lesson is simple – even if you made up your mind to play for a certain chance, do not stop looking at the cards played by opponents. You can probably see something that will give you additional possibilities.

I am very proud of myself. You know what I did right at this board? I did not bark! Sometimes it is not easy, but there is a rule I always follow - no matter how badly my partner performs, never bark at him during the game. It would disturb him and only make his game worse.
Now it is a good time to let my master know my sincere opinion about his bridge. Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!
See you later...

[hanp]

Do dogs play that Texas shows slam interest while 3D followed by 4H denies slam interest?

[chappa_dog]

Texas –shmexas.
4 diamond bid is weaker, but 3d following 4h does not show real slam interest by itself. It is more about readiness to bite them if they would like to sacrifice. My cards are not complete waste on the defence, are they?

[bid_em_up]

Next time he bids (or plays) like this, try peeing on his leg. He might get the hint.

[jjbrr]

chappa_dog, on Mar 5 2010, 12:32 PM, said:

Texas –shmexas.
4 diamond bid is weaker, but 3d following 4h does not show real slam interest by itself. It is more about readiness to bite them if they would like to sacrifice. My cards are not complete waste on the defence, are they?

lol

[hanp]

"critical comments appreciated"?

[chappa_dog]

hanp, on Mar 5 2010, 04:17 PM, said:

"critical comments appreciated"?

sure

[peachy]

2NT-3D
3H - 4H

Having Texas transfer available, 4H above is a slam invite.

[matmat]

Yo quiero Taco Bell!

[1eyedjack]

How do you bid a hand that is worth a slam try if but only if opener would super-accept the transfer?

[jjbrr]

1eyedjack, on Mar 6 2010, 12:50 PM, said:

How do you bid a hand that is worth a slam try if but only if opener would super-accept the transfer?

I've never encountered a hand where I consciously thought that I have a slam invite only opposite a super accept. Not only would partner need to be at the top of his range for the super accept, but he would have to be at the top of the top of his range to then make my slam invite worthwhile. Partner often will upgrade a hand this good. I think the target you're shooting at is way, way too small.

[FrancesHinden]

Ducking the opening lead in 6H is silly. If East had 7 diamonds and west had 1, which is entirely possibly on the auction, he's just gone straight off. And there is no advantage in ducking it - declarer needs to ruff a diamond in hand for the 12th trick anyway.

[1eyedjack]

The size of the target may depend on the cut-off definition at which a super-accept is justified. Taking two extreme openers (playing 20-21 range 2N)

Case 1

---

Case 1

---

The playing potential of these hands varies dramatically once responder shows a 5+ card Spade suit. That of course is the justification for having super-accepts in the first place.

One option is to reserve the super-accept to show hands that closely resemble Case 1, so that the super-acceptance becomes a rare occurrence. The argument in favour of that approach is that responder can be so weak that opposite an average opener he would not expect to make 3♠. If you subscribe to that approach then I agree that the target may be too small to justify resources.

Another option is to relax the requirements of the super-accept, so as to increase its frequency and take the pressure of your slam investigations on hands that would otherwise have accepted. The cost is that you get too high on some hands where responder is very weak, but that may be a price worth paying on the frequencies.

[chappa_dog]

FrancesHinden, on Mar 6 2010, 01:41 PM, said:

Ducking the opening lead in 6H is silly. If East had 7 diamonds and west had 1, which is entirely possibly on the auction, he's just gone straight off. And there is no advantage in ducking it - declarer needs to ruff a diamond in hand for the 12th trick anyway.

Agree with you, but I am afraid you missed the point.
I am just a small dog playing with my master. I am supposed to give complements to his play in every remote opportunity.
If I will criticize my master too hard, the number of bad thinks could happened to me, you would not believe what lost some of my friends as a results of arguments with their masters.
Partner took some unnecessary risk and got away with it (thanks God) - “Nicely done, Partner, you played as good as poodle.”

[Phil]

Glad I'm a cat.

[jjbrr]

I, also, am glad you're a cat.

[nige1]

Good luck Chappa! Bridge players seem to like funny instructive fables, featuring creatures with distinctive personalities. Victor Mollo's Menagerie comprised animal characters that we all recognize, except in ourselves. In Elena Jeronimidis Bridge Plus Magazine, she wrote popular stories about Penguins (thinly disguised caricatures of players at Reading Bridge Club). Elena stopped writing them and now edits the EBU Magazine. Bridge Plus is defunct but I think it would have continued to prosper, had she been persuaded to continue her series.