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Lighten things up a bit thank you Mr. Norris

#1 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 15:50

Chuck Norris is such a good bridge player that he brought home a tough 3NT contract by using a cross-ruff.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#2 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 15:52

When Chuck Norris refuses a finesse, the off-side missing honor is always singleton.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#3 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 15:53

Chuck Norris doesn't need to count the hands, he KNOWS where the cards are.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#4 User is offline   jtfanclub 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 15:59

Chuck Norris is so inspirational, in MPs his opponents give 110%!
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#5 User is offline   babalu1997 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 16:12

Al_U_Card, on Nov 6 2008, 04:50 PM, said:

Chuck Norris is such a good bridge player that he brought home a tough 3NT contract by using a cross-ruff.

I am never that lucky, in 3nt i get overruffed, when trying to cash side tricks

View PostFree, on 2011-May-10, 03:57, said:

Babalu just wanted a shoulder to cry on, is that too much to ask for?
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#6 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 16:16

When Chuck Norris claims, he is always conceded an extra overtrick. (The opps being grateful for not being further humiliated.)
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#7 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 16:21

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

(I know, it's not bridge-related, but it IS my favorite, and it IS the Water Cooler).


More in keeping with the original post:

When Chuck Norris leads out of turn, you don't have 5 options; you have 1: You WILL accept it.
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#8 User is offline   pclayton 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 16:33

When you play against Chuck, your double cards shrivel up.

The five level belongs to the opponents. ALL bidding levels belong to Chuck.
"Phil" on BBO
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#9 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 19:38

Chuck brings a whole new meaning to a vice squeeze.
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#10 User is offline   y66 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 19:54

No one makes snide remarks when Chuck Norris posts on this forum.
If you lose all hope, you can always find it again -- Richard Ford in The Sportswriter
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#11 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 20:16

There is no doubt, Chuck Norris wins the post mortem.
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#12 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 20:20

When Chuck Norris says "WTP? This should be unanimous," it IS unanimous.
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#13 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 20:30

When Chuck Norris posts a defensive problem, people answer.
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#14 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 21:28

matmat, on Nov 6 2008, 09:16 PM, said:

There is no doubt, Chuck Norris wins the post mortem.

Judging from the dead bodies, you don't want to be in a post mortem with Chuck Norris.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#15 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 21:30

Chuck Norris gives new meaning to the term "slam".
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#16 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 21:31

When Chuck Norris cuts the deck, you have to get a new one.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#17 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 21:58

Al_U_Card, on Nov 6 2008, 11:31 PM, said:

When Chuck Norris cuts the deck, you have to get a new one.

He does it lengthwise, with a karate chop.

#18 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-November-06, 22:01

when chuck norris uses the stop card, the other players cease breathing.
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#19 User is offline   dicklont 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 03:22

When Chuck Norris executes a throw in, you hear breaking glass
(if you didn´t disappear in the elimination play).
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Finding your own mistakes is more productive than looking for partner's. It improves your game and is good for your soul. (Nige1)
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#20 User is online   helene_t 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 04:30

han, on Nov 7 2008, 03:30 AM, said:

When Chuck Norris posts a defensive problem, people answer.

This was when I realized that you guys are joking.
The world would be such a happy place, if only everyone played Acol :) --- TramTicket
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