Posted 2008-July-18, 14:37
I think what we saw here is an example, all too easy to occur by e-mail, of people "talking past" each other. On one of the rare occasions I submitted a complaint to abuse, I too was a little taken aback by the stock reply - at first. But you have to try and make allowances, I have no idea how many (and what quality) complaints these guys get in a given day.
As is my wont, I'll make a few oblique comments:
- Fred's response is, as usual, awesome, and a credit to him and the site. It also demonstrates the great advantage (and substantially greater effort) of a personalized reply. The person felt listened to by Fred, and they probably didn't feel listened to before then - which I say not to criticize the original response.
- We have an expression out my way which goes like this: "opinions are like (insert anatomical word here), everyone has one and everyone thinks theirs doesn't stink." A little harsh yes but one of things you do find (especially when people are working in a second language) is that standards of what should be said and how vary from culture to culture (e.g. see above simile). So misunderstandings are easy.
- While I agree that the BBO folks have a role in all this, they can't be and we wouldn't them to be Big Brother. At the end of the day, the community has to be SELF-POLICING. It also has to recognize that you aren't gonna get along with everyone, and that's OK. Let people find a game.
- I came back today and TD'd after some time away, got called to a table that was in full flight, one side calling the other cheaters, and before we were done (I was firing the sub requests out like cruise missiles) we managed three or four expletives (including the delightful referring to someone's mother as the c-word) and of course, a racial slur. And me watching it all unfold, praying for subs, and trying to ignore the other TD calls coming in. What can I say, I guess I just got lucky, but bottom line, nothing to do with me, I'll never know and can only guess at what was said before I showed up. The point being, the players themselves have to own the game. If they are going to go crazy, there's little I can do except get there after I'm called, boot and ban, get subs, and try not to let the fact that three people lost it ruin the experience for the other 73 playing. I may the all-powerful TD but at the end of the day, the players actually own the game as much as I do. My responsibility is to encourage and back their best instincts, to set a tone, to try and create a space where it is clear rudeness and intolerance aren't going to be allowed to stay. But, you know, there's thousands of them and one of me, and if I had to guess, I'd say the guys I booted and banned are probably mad at me, because how dare I when it was clearly all the other guys' fault etc etc. And this is for a fun game with no money on the table. Huh?
- So while I continue to empathize with people who have bad TD experiences, try being a TD sometimes, which typically requires you to give up your time to be subject to abuse, make substitutions for the guys who redouble the last contract in any series of boards because they've had a bad round, then leave when it's clear it won't make, try to explain to people that precision auctions aren't illegal, I turn the barometer off because when it's on deletions triple etc etc ad nauseum. 76 people played in the 9 board tourney I hosted for free today, and at the end? You guessed it. Not one said thanks.
- Finally, much as I know it's problematic, I still think that when a tourney ends, players should be allowed to "rate the TD". What you measure, you achieve. If we allow players to give feedback on the TD, I suspect TDs would improve. I realize this suggestion is not without its problems.
- What, still reading my rant? Well, god bless you. I'm done for now.
Help
).