[inquiry]

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."

The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

[cherdano]

While we are at it, I learnt this orchestra joke today:
Q: What is the difference between god and a conductor?
A:

Spoiler

God knows he is not a conductor.

[Winstonm]

The optimist believes the glass is half full.
The pessimist believes the glass is half empty.

The engineer is certain the glass is too big.

[Elianna]

I may have posted this before but it fits the theme:

An engineer walks by a burning house, grabs a firehose, and puts the fire out.

A physicist walks by a burning house, sees the houses next to it aren't on fire, decides on average there isn't a fire, and walks on by.

A mathematician sees a house NOT on fire, and so sets it on fire reducing to an already solved problem

[irdoz]

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were each given the following problem to solve.

A school dance floor included a straight line down the middle dividing the floor in two equal halves. Boys were lined up against one wall and girls against the opposite wall, each facing the centre line. They were instructed to advance in stages towards the centre line every ten seconds, where the distance from the person to the centre line at each stage is equal to one-half the distance at the past stage.

i.e.: If the starting distance from the wall to centre line was D, the progressive series of distances at t = 0, 10 seconds, 20 seconds...10n seconds to the centre line is (D, D/2, D/4, D/8, .....D/2n)

The question is, when will they meet at the middle?

The mathematician said that they would never meet.
The physicist said they would meet when time equals infinity.
The engineer said that in one minute they would be close enough for all practical purposes.

[kenberg]

Two guys in a balloon (well, in the carriage below the balloon) realize they are lost, but the spot a man on the ground They shout down:

Riders: Hellooo

man on ground: Hellooo

Rs: Where are we?

Mog: What did you ask?

Rs: Where are we?

Mog, after a bit: You are in a balloon.

One rider observed to the other that the man on the ground was a mathematician. "How do you know?" "The man was very pleasant and he was very careful. He took the time to be sure he understood the question, he gave it careful consideration, he arrived at a correct answer, his answer was useless."

Of course this is a calumny.

[Feegle]

Four graduates observe a device/contraption.
The enginneering graduate thinks: I wonder how that works.
The physics graduate thinks: I wonder why that works.
The accountancy graduate thinks: I wonder how much profit there is in that.
The media studies graduate thinks:

Spoiler

I wonder if you get fries with that.

(hidden text, though maybe a complete blank is better )

[1eyedjack]

Two engineering students chatting:

Eng 1: "You know what those artist students have been saying about us?"
Eng 2: "No, what?"
Eng 1: "They've been saying that we engineers go around screwing sheep, and chickens, and dogs, and snakes."
Eng 2: "SNAKES?????"

[jkljkl]

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=BMzfgnTted0

[FrancesHinden]

kenberg, on Mar 9 2008, 04:00 AM, said:

Two guys in a balloon (well, in the carriage below the balloon) realize they are lost, but the spot a man on the ground They shout down:

Riders: Hellooo

man on ground: Hellooo

Rs: Where are we?

Mog: What did you ask?

Rs: Where are we?

Mog, after a bit: You are in a balloon.

One rider observed to the other that the man on the ground was a mathematician. "How do you know?" "The man was very pleasant and he was very careful. He took the time to be sure he understood the question, he gave it careful consideration, he arrived at a correct answer, his answer was useless."

Of course this is a calumny.

replace "mathematician" with "economist" and continue...

MoG: "I bet you are all senior managers"
Riders: "Yes, how did you know?"
MoG: "You don't know where you are, how you got there or where you are going but you expect a consultant to answer all your questions"

[kenberg]

As a mathematician I far prefer this updated version. My daughter is something of a senior manager and her husband an economist, however. We shall have a discussion!

[mycroft]

I've heard it as the pilot of an aircraft asking a gentleman in a tall building. After the answer, he makes a hard right, and behold - there's the landing strip.

"How did you know where you were?" "The gentleman gave me an answer that was absolutely correct, complete, and of no practical use whatever. That means he works for Microsoft, and SEA-TAC's just a right turn away from Redmond."

Of course, before Kai Tak got decommissioned, pilots could really do that on final...see Checkerboard landing.

[han]

To defend the mathematicians some more:

Three professors ask the Dean for more money. The chemist wants a new lab, new glasses and a new white suit. The mathematician only asks for lots of paper, a pencil and a new wastebasket. The philosopher just asks for paper and a pencil.

[matmat]

han, on Mar 10 2008, 07:16 PM, said:

To defend the mathematicians some more:

Three professors ask the Dean for more money. The chemist wants a new lab, new glasses and a new white suit. The mathematician only asks for lots of paper, a pencil and a new wastebasket. The philosopher just asks for paper and a pencil.

the athletic scholarship students just ask for some paper and a wastebasket.

[Elianna]

I thought that I was defending mathematicians.

[Al_U_Card]

I had heard that, on average, mathematicians are mean...

[matmat]

Al_U_Card, on Mar 11 2008, 11:23 AM, said:

I had heard that, on average, mathematicians are mean...

better than the standard economists, who are deviants.

[Al_U_Card]

At least the females have nice curves.