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How do you cope with defeat?

#21 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2007-November-06, 15:03

this thread reminds me that i need a new punching bag...
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#22 User is offline   MFA 

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Posted 2007-November-06, 15:36

Jlall, on Nov 6 2007, 12:23 PM, said:

Hanoi5, on Nov 6 2007, 12:13 PM, said:

Yesterday I was playing this 4♥ contract and I miscounted the trumps which in the end resulted in going down in an easy contract and losing 14 imps! This is the kind of mistakes I want to overcome.

So overcome them. IMO these mistakes should NEVER happen if you are a serious player. They should not be hard to cut out, just play slower and maintain your focus. Online these mistakes will happen if you're not taking it too seriously which is fine, but again if you are taking it seriously it should not happen.

This is SO important! Never is the right word here.
As an aspiring bridge player, I read Hamman's book, and this is one of two lessons I will never forget. Don't blow up the easy ones, just don't. Is ok to go astray in a hard problem, but the easy ones...

(The second lesson: Move on to the next board)

When I lose, I tend to evaluate my own performance. Take a hard look, did you do ok? Board by board. Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no. But in a sense I need to know to be able to move on to the next tournament (or session).
Michael Askgaard
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#23 User is offline   kenrexford 

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Posted 2007-November-06, 20:06

ArtK78, on Nov 6 2007, 10:24 AM, said:

I guess, Ken, that it all comes down to how we define "losing."

You appear to be using a variant of the old George Burns method. I believe it was George Burns who said that he started each day by turning to the obituaries column in the newspaper. If his name was not listed, he got out of bed.

:)
"Gibberish in, gibberish out. A trial judge, three sets of lawyers, and now three appellate judges cannot agree on what this law means. And we ask police officers, prosecutors, defense lawyers, and citizens to enforce or abide by it? The legislature continues to write unreadable statutes. Gibberish should not be enforced as law."

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#24 User is offline   blackshoe 

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Posted 2007-November-06, 21:02

pclayton, on Nov 6 2007, 12:33 PM, said:

Us catholics have used a cilice and a hair shirt for centuries :)

I was familiar with the term "hair shirt", but I hadn't heard "cilice" before. I looked it up on Merriam-Webster Online, but they tried to extort money from me, so I turned to Wikipedia. That source claims that a cilice is a hair shirt. :)
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#25 User is offline   Impact 

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Posted 2007-November-06, 21:41

Well , on Monday we played against the team which finished 5th in BB last month and on the 3rd board I went off in a game where I thought I could have made on a slightly better line, and one opponent smirked.

I hunkered down and played error -free tiger bridge for the remainder of the night.

result: 48 imps to 3 in our favour.

PS I think the alternative line is better but Deep Finesses says I should still have failed...

Go over the hands win lose or draw to see what else could be done.

If I think that with the information available I would make the same bids/plays again, I have played as well as it is possible for me...but even recognition of potential double-dummy positions and/or additional chances to give the opponents room to go wrong are worthy of consideration for the (continual) learning curve...

NB we criticised our teammate in game who failed to take a safety play to cater for trumps 4-0 offside AND a sidesuit breaking 4-1 (even more so as the initial safety play does NOT cost a trick on the actual lie of the cards: trumps 2-2 and sidesuit 3-2), so it is well to be brutal to yourselves on analysis...

I think it is very rare to have a session where you can say it was truly error-free : MAYBE ONCE A YEAR AFTER CLOSE ANALYSIS IF REALLY ON-SONG based on this style (and at MP pairs it is almost impossible).

What happens is that most of us focus on the matches we lose where we actually played pretty well and the cards & opponents "conspired to beat us" eg you bid 3 good (better than 60%) slams all of which fail and your opponents bid none of them OR system plays a part in dictating declarer and the killing lead comes from one side etc

These things happen - but then so do the hands where system /luck favours you in similar dollops: it is just that you don't tend to recognise that for what it is!

My partner loves to win, whereas I look for something akin to practical perfection for satisfaction.....

regards
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#26 Guest_Jlall_*

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Posted 2007-November-06, 21:44

Just lost to Passell/Wold Landen/Pratap in finals of KO, and thus lost my bonus...... UBER TILT. JUST NEVER LOSE. EVER. OR ELSE YOU WILL FEEL LIKE CRAP.
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#27 User is offline   the hog 

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Posted 2007-November-06, 23:06

No, a cilice is in fact a device for self mutilation, usually strapped to your arm or leg. I guess you are not a Catholic.

Btw in answer to the question of how do you cope - "Badly."
"The King of Hearts a broadsword bears, the Queen of Hearts a rose." W. H. Auden.
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#28 User is offline   P_Marlowe 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 02:11

Hanoi5, on Nov 6 2007, 12:30 PM, said:

Exactly. I need to be more serious. Any way I can do that? Do I flail myself after a mistake? How do I conquer my will?

It can only be done to a certain degree, but
to get serious you need to play for something,
which is important for you.

#1 get a partner, who wants to win
#2 make yourself a realistic plan, what you want to achieve,
e.g. play a league with some friends, getting to the next
higher league
#3 you may try playing for money, one option would
be BBO

With kind regards
Marlowe
With kind regards
Uwe Gebhardt (P_Marlowe)
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#29 User is offline   skjaeran 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 04:34

pclayton, on Nov 6 2007, 06:04 PM, said:

The other thing to realize is that as a developing player you will make at least several mistakes a session, probably more.

That's putting it mildly. I've seen a quote by a World Class player saying he'd love to be able to play 3 consecutive boards without making a single error.
Kind regards,
Harald
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#30 User is offline   y66 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 08:31

Impact, on Nov 6 2007, 10:41 PM, said:

Well , on Monday we played against the team which finished 5th in BB last month and on the 3rd board I went off in a game where I thought I could have made on a slightly better line, and one opponent smirked.

I hunkered down and played error -free tiger bridge for the remainder of the night.

result: 48 imps to 3 in our favour.


Hunkering down and kicking a** after opponent smirks ... how did that feel? <_< Nice going.
If you lose all hope, you can always find it again -- Richard Ford in The Sportswriter
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#31 User is offline   Rossoneri 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 18:54

MickyB, on Nov 7 2007, 04:48 AM, said:

Jlall, on Nov 6 2007, 06:23 PM, said:

So overcome them. IMO these mistakes should NEVER happen if you are a serious player. They should not be hard to cut out, just play slower and maintain your focus. Online these mistakes will happen if you're not taking it too seriously which is fine, but again if you are taking it seriously it should not happen.

I find it impossible to avoid these mistakes online, even if I'm taking the game fairly seriously. Don't know why - guess I'm distracted by simple things like checking my email...plus it feels less acceptable to think for a while when playing online.

MSN is worse.
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Unless explicitly stated, none of my views here can be taken to represent SCBA or any other organizations.
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#32 User is offline   Hanoi5 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 19:43

I ended up winning the tournament. Of course I had to botch one more hand...



I got to 5♠ after my LHO preempted showing 6♣. I got a small heart lead. I blew this hand, how would you play it?

View Postwyman, on 2012-May-04, 09:48, said:

Also, he rates to not have a heart void when he leads the ♥3.


View Postrbforster, on 2012-May-20, 21:04, said:

Besides playing for fun, most people also like to play bridge to win


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#33 User is offline   glen 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 21:06

hrothgar, on Nov 6 2007, 02:55 PM, said:

Odor eaters and clean socks

Forget clean socks, for defeet just have lots and lots of safe socks

On the above hand, do I know that LHO has exactly 6♣s, or has 6+♣s?
'I hit my peak at seven' Taylor Swift
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#34 User is offline   Hanoi5 

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Posted 2007-November-07, 22:28

Should be exactly 6. I opened 1♠ and she overcalled 3♣.

View Postwyman, on 2012-May-04, 09:48, said:

Also, he rates to not have a heart void when he leads the ♥3.


View Postrbforster, on 2012-May-20, 21:04, said:

Besides playing for fun, most people also like to play bridge to win


My YouTube Channel
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#35 User is offline   guggie 

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Posted 2007-November-08, 02:21

could be 7 too than?
If exactly 6, t would take the a, club a, ruff club, cross to sp a, ruff last club, draw trumps, eventually concede trump Q and di ace.
But if east has only 2 clubs and 4 trumps some more thinking is required.
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#36 User is offline   SoTired 

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Posted 2007-November-08, 14:04

God forbid I should ever learn to "cope" with defeat. NOT EVER. I don't ever want it to happen again. I want it to hurt.

I will laugh with the opps and be polite, but when the cards are withdrawn from the tray, I will attempt to crush them and show no mercy while doing it.

Like Justine I just lost a knockout (but at a lower level) when my partner reverted to a novice for 3 hands.

I went to a convenience store, bought 2 Butterfingers and a box of Good & Plenty, went back to the hotel, turned on an old movie, and ate candy until my stomach hurt.
It costs nothing to be nice -- my better half
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#37 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2007-November-08, 16:15

A great contemporary philosopher had the ideal one word reply to defeat.....

(hidden below)

Spoiler

The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#38 User is offline   MFA 

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Posted 2007-November-08, 17:39

@ SoTired

Blaming your partner is IMO the worst possible way to react to a defeat.
Michael Askgaard
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#39 User is offline   Yogeshdg 

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Posted 2007-November-08, 19:41

You drink a bottle of wine,go to bed and wake up the next morning for a fresh start.
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#40 User is offline   Free 

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Posted 2007-November-08, 20:23

You're only defeated after playing all the boards. So until that's the case, just move on, don't care about anything you do! Sometimes your opponents do even worse things and you win on such awful boards... As long as you don't know the final result, don't care about anything good or bad you do. Yes the good to, because if you get too hung up about how well it's going, you can get hit back hard if you have one lousy board. Just play your hands, ignore the results, do what you're supposed to do, and keep the analyzes for later.

Ofcourse, after you lose it's time to reflect on what went wrong. :P But even if I win I tend to analyze the hands and try to see what I did well and what I did wrong. Learning from mistakes is one thing, learning from the good things is also quite valuable imo. For example a nice falsecard or misleading line of play that worked: ask yourself WHY it worked!
"It may be rude to leave to go to the bathroom, but it's downright stupid to sit there and piss yourself" - blackshoe
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