[dogsbreath]

hi
Saturday night at our tourneys is typically reserved for Mixed pairs.
We are playing at a new venue in the City of Londonderry (also known as Derry ). The new venue has attracted a much larger than usual entry many of which are 'scratch' pairings..

Midway through this one-session event. . new opps arrive at the table. LHO is wearing a DJ, the legendary open-toed sandals and hair and beard down to waist. His lady partener appears to have mislaid her drink, her jacket and her handbag. She is concerned about the whereabouts of her drink. LHO announces 12-14NT, 4-card Major and the bidding goes p-p-p to you. As you contemplate action on a ropey 2-3-5-3 15 count with ♦AK234 .. LHO suddenly says 'I've only got 11 cards' a few seconds later RHO lady perks up and admits 15 cards ... director summoned

Harrassed TD arrives and takes board away to be fixed. Returns quickly and starts to announce penalties, options etc.. I suggest we just pretend nothing happened and restart the auction.. no objections and TD allows. (possibly this is incorrect procedure but we try keep mixed pairs events as uncomplicated as possible!)

Bidding now goes p-p-1nt ??

..YES the lady who couldnt open with 15 cards now has an opener with 2 fewer cards ..it's your turn ....

more later... Rgds Dog

[Kalvan14]

I suppose the first action would be to order a drink myself

The second action would be a double. i assume you are not playing any sophisticated method.
I always enjoy playing against 1NX when declarer is tipsy

[Rebound]

I would say that's whatcha get for tryin' to be nice ;-)
Not much you can do but ignore as much as possible what came before and get the hand over with IMO.

[Walddk]

dogsbreath, on Nov 11 2005, 03:16 AM, said:

His lady partener appears to have mislaid her drink, her jacket and her handbag.

A woman's handbag is remarkable for two reasons:

It's the only place where you can find everything .... and nothing!

Roland

[GeeGee]

Kalvan14, on Nov 10 2005, 11:05 PM, said:

I suppose the first action would be to order a drink myself

The second action would be a double.

Double whiskey, perhap?

[42]

*hehe* That sounds funny, I'd like to come over, only problem is perhaps to find a partner... My handbag is full of nice things (men often ask for something like an aspirin, handkerchief, chocolate, chewing gum, a pen, a piece of paper, need a place to put their purse or keys into, etc.). And a drink from time to time is nothing I would refuse (...after the tourney...).
♣(with 4 leaves)
Caren

[Walddk]

42, on Nov 11 2005, 12:03 PM, said:

My handbag is full of nice things (men often ask for something like an aspirin, handkerchief, chocolate, chewing gum, a pen, a piece of paper, need a place to put their purse or keys into, etc.)

No wonder that women can't find anything. It's quite funny to watch them trying to dig something out of the handbag. Eventually they succeed, and everything is displayed to the public.

Roland

[42]

Walddk, on Nov 11 2005, 12:08 PM, said:

No wonder that women can't find anything. It's quite funny to watch them trying to dig something out of the handbag. Eventually they succeed, and everything is displayed to the public.

Roland

Nonono, I have a handbag with many fans And would men carry all those things themselves..........

[FrancesHinden]

Walddk, on Nov 11 2005, 04:36 AM, said:

dogsbreath, on Nov 11 2005, 03:16 AM, said:

His lady partener appears to have mislaid her drink, her jacket and her handbag.

A woman's handbag is remarkable for two reasons:

It's the only place where you can find everything .... and nothing!

Roland

I once recovered a lost convention card from the handbag of a spectator. I never thought our system was quite that interesting!

Anyway, I've just done an inventory and my handbag contains

1 passport
1 mobile phone (turned off, as is usual)
1 purse containing money (2 currencies), credit/bank cards (2 currencies)
1 Oyster card (London public transport)
1 strippenkart (dutch public transport)
1 book of stamps
membership cards for various organisations that i need frequently
1 bunch of keys
1 USB memory stick
2 taxi receipts, 2 used boarding passes (needed for an expense claim next time I'm in the office) & details of my next flight
1 business card with the phone number of the taxi firm meeting me on Sunday evening
10 pens
1 handkerchief

The only non-useful things are about 7 of the pens, but they will all get borrowed/used/stolen as I'm playing bridge at the weekend.

All useful stuff that needs carrying around. Isn't it more convenient to have one handbag than to keep transferring things between pockets?

[Walddk]

FrancesHinden, on Nov 11 2005, 12:47 PM, said:

1 passport
1 mobile phone (turned off, as is usual)
1 purse containing money (2 currencies), credit/bank cards (2 currencies)
1 Oyster card (London public transport)
1 strippenkart (dutch public transport)
1 book of stamps
membership cards for various organisations that i need frequently
1 bunch of keys
1 USB memory stick
2 taxi receipts, 2 used boarding passes (needed for an expense claim next time I'm in the office) & details of my next flight
1 business card with the phone number of the taxi firm meeting me on Sunday evening
10 pens
1 handkerchief

The only non-useful things are about 7 of the pens, but they will all get borrowed/used/stolen as I'm playing bridge at the weekend.

All useful stuff that needs carrying around. Isn't it more convenient to have one handbag than to keep transferring things between pockets?

1 passport (blame it on Blair who chose to stay out of the Schengen agreement)
1 mobile phone (absolutely useless, throw it away)
1 purse containing money (some use pockets or, naively, a wallet)
1 Oyster card (take a taxi; Shell should pay for it)
1 strippenkart (take a dutch taxi. Shell pays for it)
1 book of stamps (use e-mail)
membership cards for various organisations that i need frequently (wallet)
1 bunch of keys (put them in your coat pocket)
1 USB memory stick (borrow one when you need it)
2 taxi receipts, 2 used boarding passes (there is more room in the wallet)
1 business card with the phone number of the taxi firm meeting me on Sunday evening (book with a reliable taxi company)
10 pens (9 too many)
1 handkerchief (stop crying and be happy )

Conclusion: who needs a handbag?

Roland

[guggie]

My handbag contains various systemcards for various players, the ususal quite essential stuff as Frances mentioned, but above all all the spare sugar bags & lumps I come across. I am very popular with people who need extra sugar. Paula, my partner for the ladies pairs regularly asks me for spare sugar in my Bermuda Triangle (as her nickname for my handbag is) and she is seldom disappointed.
Not to forget paperclips, lots and lots of pens for all male bridgeplayers fulminating about handbags, aspirin, chewing gum, tooth picks....
The all time favourite is the moment when i sat in the airplane with my 3 ladies-bridge-friends for a 2 weeks all female bridge holiday in Rumania, and I fumbled in my handbag looking for my reading glasses and opened the little black box with... the radiofront of my car.

Never ever go on a holiday without yr radiofront!

(dont know if radiofront the proper english term, we use it in dutch for the removable part of yr autoradio)

[sceptic]

Quote

My handbag is full of nice things (men often ask for something like an aspirin, handkerchief, chocolate, chewing gum, a pen, a piece of paper, need a place to put their purse or keys into, etc.). And a drink from time to time is nothing I would refuse (...after the tourney...).

I have a similar item to hold all of those items caren, I call it my house and I would hate to have to carry it around with me

[sceptic]

I have just gone through my wifes handbag, while she is out and I can't believe what I found

A biscuit
A mascara with the top missing
A key she told me I lost last year
An assortment of reciepts for items that appear in the house on occasions and I assumed the fairies brought them as no one admits to buying them
A Lipstick
A sachet of hand cream
more keys
A condom (interestingly I had a vasectomy 15 years ago)
£22.81 in 1, 2, 5, 10 pence pieces
A raffle ticket
3 lottery tickets all old and all losers
A biro
several scraps of paper with various writtings on them
A visa card
A Barclays card
A John Lewis card
A tesco points card
A Debenhams card
A Barclaycard
A American express card
A Nectar card
3 library tickets
2 small plastic balls attached to each other with a piece of string (??????) anyone knows what this is I would love to know (they are pink if thats any help)
A diary
and a few hotel reciepts

anyway, I prefer being a man, all I need to carry in my trousers is my meat and two veg and some spending money

[guggie]

NEVER EVER look in anyones handbag, it is sacred!!!
Teh 2 plastic balls with the string can be used for hairdo, if the string is elastic
the condom hehe yr wife put it there to scare you if you ever tried to pry in her handbag

[Echognome]

ROFL Wayne. Brilliant.

[dogsbreath]

hi ..
thanks for your interest ..especially in the area of handbags! .. now a little more of the tale...

My LHO is well-known 'personailty' in N.Ireland bridge .. a capable player but with his own distinctive 'style'. My partener is N.Ireland's best lady player .. LHO is keenly attuned to such factors.

..So i decide to bide my time here .. it's been unusual so far.. so lets 'psyche' a pass..

LHO bids 3NT P P ?? your turn again

Rgds Dog

[Echognome]

Now I'm regretting not taking my average plus on the board as the hands have now been bid differently. Both players have UI about their cards. I obviously have no idea what's going on. But, since I allowed this mess, I pass and lead a small diamond.

[dogsbreath]

...
sensible move ... LHO tables 13 count with Kjxxx ♣ .. declarer wraps up 10 tricks for a near avg... any other action and y get tapped for a duck

the end Rgds Dog

[rayos]

Let's get back to handbags.
My wife doesnt use one, says men are good for 2 things lifting and carrying heavy things. So i have to carry her stuff.
What's the other thing i'm good for?

[Walddk]

rayos, on Nov 12 2005, 01:58 PM, said:

What's the other thing i'm good for?

Walking the dog I suppose.

Roland