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So many rude players on BBO nowadays if you play with strangers

#1 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-November-14, 10:00

Hi all,

Having been back to BBO for a while, I just want to share my recent experience playing with random strangers on BBO.
The probability to meet either a teacher or rude player ( or both) is clearly much higher than 10 years ago.
If you have a group of friends who are often online, would be great. But I don't see BBO as a comfortable platform for playing with strangers any more.

[removed links with usernames]

Cheers,
Ying

This post has been edited by diana_eva: 2022-November-15, 03:45

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#2 User is offline   diana_eva 

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Posted 2022-November-15, 03:46

 myc0627, on 2022-November-14, 10:00, said:

Hi all,

Having been back to BBO for a while, I just want to share my recent experience playing with random strangers on BBO.
The probability to meet either a teacher or rude player ( or both) is clearly much higher than 10 years ago.
If you have a group of friends who are often online, would be great. But I don't see BBO as a comfortable platform for playing with strangers any more.

[removed links with usernames]

Cheers,
Ying


I've forwarded the screenshots to Abuse.

#3 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-November-17, 08:27

 diana_eva, on 2022-November-15, 03:46, said:

I've forwarded the screenshots to Abuse.


Thanks, but to be honest I don't really think this could help. The frequency to meet uncomfortable players is terribly high than before.
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#4 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2022-November-18, 14:58

Complaints about rudeness on BBO have been going on forever. I doubt it's really more prevalent now than before, except that more people have been playing on BBO since the pandemic.

#5 User is online   mycroft 

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Posted 2022-November-18, 16:08

The last time someone was rude to me on BBO (not the Forums, but I do tend to attract, shall we say "strong opinions"? And given my, hopefully rarely actually rude, "strong opinions", I feel that's Only To Be Expected) was 18 months ago when I was directing an ACBL Regional At Home.

But that's because I've got well away from the Permanent Floating Pickup Pool (and because I avoid all-comers games). And I recommend that (at least getting out of the PFPP) to everybody. Unfortunately, the problem with the PFPP, as I've mentioned many times, is that the players who are both nice and reasonably skilled get regular partners and self-select out of the pool - thus, like reverse osmosis, concentrating the ones that can't get and keep a partner far beyond their occurrence in the general population.
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#6 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-November-19, 12:07

 barmar, on 2022-November-18, 14:58, said:

Complaints about rudeness on BBO have been going on forever. I doubt it's really more prevalent now than before, except that more people have been playing on BBO since the pandemic.


I know it is nothing new. But what I have been experiencing again on BBO was really more terrible than about 10 years ago. It is of course possible because of the pandemic, either people
might have stress, depression, or I am having it and have been more sensitive :(
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#7 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-November-19, 12:09

 mycroft, on 2022-November-18, 16:08, said:

The last time someone was rude to me on BBO (not the Forums, but I do tend to attract, shall we say "strong opinions"? And given my, hopefully rarely actually rude, "strong opinions", I feel that's Only To Be Expected) was 18 months ago when I was directing an ACBL Regional At Home.

But that's because I've got well away from the Permanent Floating Pickup Pool (and because I avoid all-comers games). And I recommend that (at least getting out of the PFPP) to everybody. Unfortunately, the problem with the PFPP, as I've mentioned many times, is that the players who are both nice and reasonably skilled get regular partners and self-select out of the pool - thus, like reverse osmosis, concentrating the ones that can't get and keep a partner far beyond their occurrence in the general population.


I totally agree that. But a new account would need time to get that many good players. I forgot my old account and don't have that much time as before.. :(
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#8 User is online   pescetom 

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Posted 2022-November-19, 12:20

 myc0627, on 2022-November-19, 12:07, said:

It is of course possible because of the pandemic, either people
might have stress, depression, or I am having it and have been more sensitive :(


On your now removed screenshots your own language did look a little aggressive to me.
Even when insulted it's important to remain calm and choose words carefully, especially in text chat.
But easier to say than do, I know.
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#9 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-November-21, 11:45

 pescetom, on 2022-November-19, 12:20, said:

On your now removed screenshots your own language did look a little aggressive to me.
Even when insulted it's important to remain calm and choose words carefully, especially in text chat.
But easier to say than do, I know.


In my card on BBO i wrote "NO NEED LESSONS FROM RANDOMS".

Here i really mean any kind of lessons, it can be how to bid / how to play of bridge, it also can be some "ethic" suggestion.

No need lessons, thanks!
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#10 User is offline   thesidster 

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Posted 2022-December-09, 00:16

 myc0627, on 2022-November-14, 10:00, said:

Hi all,

Having been back to BBO for a while, I just want to share my recent experience playing with random strangers on BBO.
The probability to meet either a teacher or rude player ( or both) is clearly much higher than 10 years ago.
If you have a group of friends who are often online, would be great. But I don't see BBO as a comfortable platform for playing with strangers any more.

[removed links with usernames]

Cheers,
Ying


I have requested many times on this forum to add a option to stop
receiving direct messages from people you have not followed. IT would
go a LONG way to solve this problem.

You can still message friends, and can use table chat. It is the
anonymity of direct messaging that encourages such behavior.
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#11 User is offline   pigpenz 

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Posted 2022-December-09, 12:33

Best thing to do is to take your mouse and minimize the chat windows so you dont have to see it,
if you dont see it, it never happened!
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#12 User is online   mycroft 

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Posted 2022-December-09, 13:49

So, we're going to expect a rash of "he wouldn't bid and wouldn't bid and then just left the table", are we?

Either that, or "don't ask questions in public chat, your partner shouldn't know you were asking"

or "I keep asking the question but I don't get a response" (because it's coming in private).

Private chat at the table has a very important purpose. Yes, it also allows opponents to be rude "in safety", but that's what abuse@ (and mark enemy, which will stop it for that person) is for.
When I go to sea, don't fear for me, Fear For The Storm -- Birdie and the Swansong (tSCoSI)
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#13 User is offline   msheald 

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Posted 2022-December-10, 07:17

Hello! I agree. Another rude encounter. This is especially puzzling to me when it occurs in a free, 6-deal game when one has a different partner each hand. If such players cannot control themselves in such a game, I shudder to think how they act in other games!

To be fair to the other player, I was likely more aggressive than I should have been given the deal and never having played together, but that does not excuse abuse.

I put all such players on my ignore list and then reported them to BBO. It does not seem to help - a lot of abusive players out there. I used to just put them on my "ignore " list, but now I also report them to BBO in the hope that BBO might give them effective feedback so that such players might start to learn to control their comments and make BBO a pleasant experience for all of us.

I like the idea of minimizing the chat window in such games since I would likely never play with the same partner in the future. Best regards.

Mike
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#14 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-December-12, 02:04

 thesidster, on 2022-December-09, 00:16, said:

I have requested many times on this forum to add a option to stop
receiving direct messages from people you have not followed. IT would
go a LONG way to solve this problem.

You can still message friends, and can use table chat. It is the
anonymity of direct messaging that encourages such behavior.


well actually you can ignore the player to stop receiving their private messages. But you can see how fast your black list grows :)
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#15 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-December-12, 02:06

 pigpenz, on 2022-December-09, 12:33, said:

Best thing to do is to take your mouse and minimize the chat windows so you dont have to see it,
if you dont see it, it never happened!


Thanks for sharing this idea, but i would not stop communication with possible new partner and other nice players just because of some random rude IDs.
That would be a penalty for me and a victory of those rats.
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#16 User is offline   myc0627 

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Posted 2022-December-12, 02:15

 msheald, on 2022-December-10, 07:17, said:

Hello! I agree. Another rude encounter. This is especially puzzling to me when it occurs in a free, 6-deal game when one has a different partner each hand. If such players cannot control themselves in such a game, I shudder to think how they act in other games!

To be fair to the other player, I was likely more aggressive than I should have been given the deal and never having played together, but that does not excuse abuse.

I put all such players on my ignore list and then reported them to BBO. It does not seem to help - a lot of abusive players out there. I used to just put them on my "ignore " list, but now I also report them to BBO in the hope that BBO might give them effective feedback so that such players might start to learn to control their comments and make BBO a pleasant experience for all of us.

I like the idea of minimizing the chat window in such games since I would likely never play with the same partner in the future. Best regards.

Mike


Thanks for your input. I also agree that the report does not really help. The only thing you can do is to watch your black list growing fast.

I would prefer that every IDs get a "politeness" rating which is visible for all. Each valid report of abuse will decrease that rating. However, this would be an exhausting work for admins.
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#17 User is online   mycroft 

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Posted 2022-December-12, 09:11

But the thing is that that politeness rating would be "zero" for almost everybody, and "one" for 90+% of the rest. What does that get you?

Because in fact, "valid reports of abuse" do cause suspensions and bans. Most of the people who are habitually rude have not been reported yet (because people don't bother, or they put the person on ignore, or they boot the player from the table, or they leave if it's someone else's table). Or the banned player came back with a new nick, and hasn't been IP-banned yet (or has learned her lesson from the banning, and in the new nick tones it down to acceptable levels).

And people's rudeness quotient vary. What I would consider rude enough to report might be well beyond what you consider. And it could be both ways! For instance, my "issue with names" is something that, if pushed, would be an auto-pitch (but not, likely, a report to abuse); maybe one in ten thousand would even notice it? But I probably don't even notice (and don't ever get) sexually-, racially-, or religiously-coded abuse [*] and so many people who would be perfectly friendly to me would be casually rude to Sandra[***], or Pradnya, or Abdul. And some, frankly, consider "anything even vaguely resembling criticism" to be abuse, because bridge players, as I've said before, are petty entitled [--]s (NOTE: I am not suggesting OP, or anyone else in this thread, is at that level. But we all know that person, don't we?) What is considered "valid"?

If you try automating it, you get the problem with my "ex-university drunk and foul-mouthed game". Or the Czech or Turkish equivalent (good luck with that). I still remember the procedural penalty I gave out in Penticton where the person tried to minimize the issue because he used the British "two finger" rather then the North American "middle finger".

I am not meaning to minimize the problem; frankly I have not played in "open entry games" online for over a decade. I found a good partner or six, played in local clubs or in games set up with invited players from one of those trusted users, and added more people to my "trustworthy" list. There's a reason for that, and there's a reason it's what I recommend to others. Yes, I know it kills "push cards for 30 minutes at lunch" and "play individuals" as strategies; for me it's worth it.

I also understand Allan Simon's "can't play levels", and that I'm pretty high on that list (even if one level below "Canadian national champion", which is probably about one level below "World Champion"); and as a result, I am both less likely to *get* "when did you learn to play? I mean, I know it was today, but what time today?" and more capable of either ignoring it or being able to respond with a correct analysis when I do than less experienced players.

And, as I say "the only bad way to play bridge is to stop playing, or convince someone else to stop playing"; so I actually would like to have a better answer. Because this does stop people playing.

* well, okay, the Mexican equivalent of "mauditeanglais"[**] that translates to "He thinks he's a mexican director, but doesn't understand enough Spanish to get the insult". Which, you know, is a valid criticism. I'm working on it.
** "I lived in Montréal for 6 years before I found out 'maudite anglais' was two words." - Bowser and Blue.
[***] Note: It doesn't have to be overt. "You can't -ing play", to Sandra, can be sexually-coded.
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