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Manners, please

#1 User is offline   chrisapp 

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Posted 2015-February-02, 10:59

Just got started with BBO. I find it cool to be able to play bridge with people all over the world. At six in the morning, if I wish. I am an intermediate player, but not a very good one. Earlier today I played a few hands with someone on the other side of the globe. I tend to get a little nervous as declarer; my pulse quickens, blood rushes to the head and I can make mistakes (as anyone). A slight slip-up by me cost us the contract, whereby my partner responded BAD! and promptly disappeared.
The other day one of my opponents got some serious lip from his or her partner. A somewhat bigger mistake lost them a perfectly good 4 H contract. The poor player was inundated with degrading comments in the chat! I was too shocked to reply, and quickly "left the room". Seriously, folks - after all, this was the relaxed bridge club! Why the anger?
It is also nice to be greeted at the table, get responses to your greetings, and also to get the thumbs up if you play well (it happens).
Had to get this off my chest. Ty - and cu out there.
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#2 User is offline   whereagles 

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Posted 2015-February-02, 11:06

People are very stressed all over the world. It's the crisis. No wait it's the injustice.
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#3 User is offline   Trinidad 

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Posted 2015-February-02, 11:31

Hi Chrisapp,

Welcome to BBO.

... And welcome to the real world... :(

As you have experienced, not everybody (mild understatement) out there is nice and polite. In some cases, language may lead to misunderstandings (which should be forgiven). But in most cases, bridge players (particularly the poor ones) have big egos. And when they can see all four hands as dummy, it is very easy to spot mistakes by declarer that they would have never made... when they see all four hands.

On the other hand, there are also nice people on BBO, actually lots of them. I suggest that you put those players that you like on your friends list. At the same time, remain polite yourself (of course), so other people will put you on their friends list.

You might find someone with whom you can have a standing partnership for a specific time slot. It will take some time and patience, but then you can find some nice players. And then you can truly enjoy the great service of BBO.

I hope you can understand that BBO only provides the service. They cannot take care of the proper upbringing of all BBO members, nor can they enforce the "golden rule". That was the job of the members' parents. If you find that the abuse is going overboard, you can send a report to abuse@bridgebase.com, providing details. BBO will take action, even if you might not see the effect immediately (or ever).

Best regards,

Rik
I want my opponents to leave my table with a smile on their face and without matchpoints on their score card - in that order.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!), but “That’s funny…” – Isaac Asimov
The only reason God did not put "Thou shalt mind thine own business" in the Ten Commandments was that He thought that it was too obvious to need stating. - Kenberg
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#4 User is offline   chrisapp 

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Posted 2015-February-02, 12:43

Thanks, Rik. Yes, mostly people are very nice. :)
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#5 User is offline   mr1303 

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Posted 2015-February-04, 03:54

Look at the comments of just about any youtube video and you'll see how people can be on the internet. Sadly.
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#6 User is offline   IHeartYou 

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Posted 2019-January-26, 11:07

I came here to find something about manners. Well, it's not going to do any good on Forums, where not that many people are looking at it. I wish they (BBO) would put something on the site about it. #1 My pet peeve is getting booted from CASUAL tables by "better" players with no warning. It's easy to make a mistake (for me, usually on the first hand of the day), and people without any consideration pulling the plug so quickly is extremely annoying. At the old ZONE bridge, no one would boot without asking someone to leave first. DO THAT. Just ask, I'll leave. Don't play CASUAL if you aren't. Go play in the competitive rooms. #2 Don't complain during a hand about your partner's bid or play. Just wait until after the hand, PLEASE. It's confusing enough playing a hand without someone chipping during it. OK, thanks for letting me vent, but, again, this is useless in this forum unless BBO monitors this and considers actually putting it on the main site.
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#7 User is offline   pescetom 

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Posted 2019-January-26, 14:21

View PostIHeartYou, on 2019-January-26, 11:07, said:

I came here to find something about manners. Well, it's not going to do any good on Forums, where not that many people are looking at it. I wish they (BBO) would put something on the site about it. #1 My pet peeve is getting booted from CASUAL tables by "better" players with no warning. It's easy to make a mistake (for me, usually on the first hand of the day), and people without any consideration pulling the plug so quickly is extremely annoying. At the old ZONE bridge, no one would boot without asking someone to leave first. DO THAT. Just ask, I'll leave. Don't play CASUAL if you aren't. Go play in the competitive rooms. #2 Don't complain during a hand about your partner's bid or play. Just wait until after the hand, PLEASE. It's confusing enough playing a hand without someone chipping during it. OK, thanks for letting me vent, but, again, this is useless in this forum unless BBO monitors this and considers actually putting it on the main site.


I'm not sure why you are so disdaining about a forum (which allows thorough and democratic discussion and leaves a permanent trace) rather than the main site, which is presumably more institutional than discussional and unlikely to give much room to complaints. That aside, I agree with most of your comments.
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