[geofspa]

Last evening Katherine's, our youngest daughter, boyfriend came to see us and to ask for permission to ask Katherine if they might get engaged to be married. It was a very polite gesture on his part and, of course, I asked if he could keep her in the custom to which she has been accustomed. Well to cut a long story short the question was asked and the last of our fledglings is preparing to fly the nest.

It does make me wonder though what makes you realise you are getting older ,,,, other than the aching bones.

Geof

[kenberg]

Age markers sneak up on you. I prepared myself for turning 30. My daughter turning 30 just sort of declared itself all sudden like. I was at the high school graduation of my oldest grandchild recently.

When you start enjoying hearing Maurice Chevalier sing "I'm glad i'm not young anymore" you know that you are in deep stuff.

Anyway, congratulations to all. And the gesture of asking for your permission is charming. Even if it is something like the Prime Minister presenting his credentials to the Queen for approval.

[jdonn]

Speaking as someone young, the last 3 events that I recall making me feel old:
- My sister and her husband getting a dog (they were now officially "settled down" and so I should be as well).
- More and more people thinking the way I styled my hair was making it look like it was falling out, when it wasn't the style at all but I was just really losing it.
- (upcoming soon) my father turning 60.

[geofspa]

Listening to Radio2 (UK) and realising that the Wings song playing is really quite good is another of my markers

[hrothgar]

geofspa, on Jul 3 2010, 05:07 PM, said:

Last evening Katherine's, our youngest daughter, boyfriend came to see us and to ask for permission to ask Katherine if they might get engaged to be married. It was a very polite gesture on his part and, of course, I asked if he

Sounds like a keeper...

[MarkDean]

I feel old when I realize that not only do I not do the things I used to (i.e. staying out late drinking etc.), but that I also have no desire to do such things any more. Get me in bed by 10 PM on a Friday night and I am happy.

[hanp]

I feel alien when I read this thread.

Was the guy serious about asking you, or is this tradition and are you required to say yes? Or both?

[Phil]

hanp, on Jul 3 2010, 05:37 PM, said:

I feel alien when I read this thread.

Was the guy serious about asking you, or is this tradition and are you required to say yes? Or both?

I don't know if such a practice is common, but I asked my father-in-law permission before I proposed. Not sure why I did; at the time I thought this was the way it was done.

I would feel honored if a young man who wanted to propose to my daughter asked for her hand.

[gwnn]

But would you ever say no?

[paulg]

gwnn, on Jul 4 2010, 12:37 AM, said:

But would you ever say no?

That's not the reason he asked.

He just wanted to know how keen Geof was to get rid of her!

[OleBerg]

My financial problems has gone from "constant" to "occasionally".

[hanp]

It all sounds like a bit of pride and prejudice to me. I can imagine the future wife to be quite insulted. We don't still live in the days where the parents found a husband for their daughters, or do we?

Quote

I asked if he could keep her in the custom to which she has been accustomed.

What does this mean exactly? Does the guy provide bank account statements and pay-checks, as he might have in the world that Jane Austen wrote about?

[MickyB]

I did a quick google search on this - it was suggested to ask for her parents' blessing, rather than their permission, and to judge it on how close your potential fiancée is to them. One site said to make sure both parents were present when you asked (unless they were separated/divorced), the other said to have a "man-to-man" chat.

I should probably delete my browsing history in case my girlfriend gets the wrong idea!

Oh, and Pride and Prejudice [BBC TV series, I can't claim to have read the book] is amazing, although that's mainly due to the way Mr Bennett winds up his wife.

[OleBerg]

On the other matter:

Knock 'em up. Problem solved.

[hrothgar]

hanp, on Jul 4 2010, 01:37 AM, said:

I feel alien when I read this thread.

Was the guy serious about asking you, or is this tradition and are you required to say yes? Or both?

This is often considered to be polite and it shows respect for your future in-laws.

[hanp]

hrothgar, on Jul 4 2010, 06:32 AM, said:

hanp, on Jul 4 2010, 01:37 AM, said:

I feel alien when I read this thread.

Was the guy serious about asking you, or is this tradition and are you required to say yes? Or both?

This is often considered to be polite and it shows respect for your future in-laws.

Just to get this straight, I have nothing against sexist traditions. The more the merrier.

[jocdelevat]

Quote

I have nothing against sexist traditions. The more the merrier.

bingo expect female bbo posters to complain and write to abuse@bbo.com about your statement lol

[jandrew]

hrothgar, on Jul 4 2010, 12:32 PM, said:

hanp, on Jul 4 2010, 01:37 AM, said:

I feel alien when I read this thread.

Was the guy serious about asking you, or is this tradition and are you required to say yes? Or both?

This is often considered to be polite and it shows respect for your future in-laws.

I'm old-fashioned enough and sufficiently a traditionalist to expect a visit from the prospective fiance (a bit of cringing wont come amiss either).

If I'm expected to pay all or most of the wedding costs - I'd like to get my opinions aired fairly early on.

jandrew


PS - The answer is always "Yes".

[NickRW]

hanp, on Jul 4 2010, 10:30 AM, said:

What does this mean exactly? Does the guy provide bank account statements and pay-checks, as he might have in the world that Jane Austen wrote about?

Erm. I remember one girlfriend - lovely thighs... (but I mustn't think too much about that) Her father was a tax inspector. On only the second date I think it was I had to pick her up from her parents place - talk about grilling - one on one - what were my prospects and that stuff. Hell I was only 18 and still studying for my A levels.

That was over 30 years ago though - but certainly not in the Jane Austen era.

[y66]

I doubt many young women's parents expect to be consulted these days. Definitely good form though.