jeremy69, on Apr 20 2010, 04:47 PM, said:
Quote
Score adjusted so that everyone gets a bottom, and as many players as possible get fined.
Finally he is worth his place on the Laws and Ethics Committee.
Finally?
Almost the first ruling I gave as chair of an Appeals Committee, having recently been appointed to the L&E, occurred at the Brighton Pairs weekend during a century that was probably the twentieth, but these days I find it hard to tell.
North had cheated by removing a slow penalty double of 2
♠ to 3
♣, which was doubled by East-West who defended ridiculously to allow it to make. Both sides were awarded minus 670 (not surprisingly a bottom for all concerned), and the question of the deposit was resolved as follows:
AC Chair "What about the deposit?"
AC member 1 (a strong, not to say headstrong, player) "Was there one?"
AC member 2 (an equally strong player, but a more equable sort) "Well, there's a five pound note on the table."
AC member 1 "Who was appealing, anyway?"
AC Chair "Not sure - better have a look at the form."
AC members 1 and 2 in unison "Don't bother. Just keep it."
But that was then, and this is now. Since East-West didn't actually revoke in the course of the worst defence ever seen, they would not only have been awarded a lot of matchpoints instead of none, they would have been entitled to six months' worth of counselling by the EBU Advisory Committee on People Traumatised by Having to Play Bridge Despite An Opponent's Putative Infraction.
North-South, instead of forking out a fiver (a lot of money in those days, let me tell you) would have been awarded a grant of several thousand pounds by the "There, There, We're Sure You're Not Actually A Pair Of Cheating Bastards" sub-committee, in order that they might develop methods that could not be foisted upon them by bullies such as myself.
Twisted? Dead right. Bitter? Thanks very much - I'll have a pint.
.P..2♣(1)..P..2♦(2)
.P...2NT....P..3♥(3)
.P...4♥.....P...4♠
.P.....P.....P