[ynrobinson]

Scoring: IMPs

The bidding:
E - S - W - N
P - 3NT - P - 4♣
P - 4♦ - P - 6♠
P - 6NT! - P - P
X - P - P - 7C
X - AP

---

I played this hand a few hours ago on BBO. See handviewer: http://www.bridgebase.com/tools/handviewer...KH9D5HTSAHJDJHK

I sat north. I assumed partner's 3NT was gambling but didn't know. Whatever it was, I wanted slam. 4 clubs was either Gerber or "pass-or-correct". 4 diamonds showed partner's suit. Hoping for partner to have either the spade queen or heart ace, I bid 6 spades. Partner, bless him, raises to 6NT, and I decide to pass and let him go down one or two undoubled, but then it gets doubled and I think it's better to go down one in a suit than four or five if they can run hearts. So I bid seven clubs, that gets doubled too, and all pass.

I can't recommend partner's bidding -- a dubious usage of gambling 3NT and a ridiculous takeout of 6 spades when he had plenty of spade support.

East leads a small diamond and I think there's no way he underled the king (or I can't risk that he did) so I put up the ace. Then a spectacular "poorbridge" moment: I lead the queen of diamonds, planning to discard a spade from hand if west plays a low diamond!

I didn't ponder how incredibly stupid this was: if clubs break in my favor, I have 13 top tricks. But before I had the chance to whack myself in the head, west made an even stupider play: he ruffed low!! Apparently he didn't think east would underlead the king of diamonds either. I overruffed, and with the diamond distribution known, I cashed the club ace and returned to dummy with a heart to finesse in clubs. I drew trumps and ran the spades for +1630 and 14 imps.

Of the 15 other pairs, 8 played in 6 spades, 2 in 4 spades, 1 in 7 spades, 1 EW in 7 hearts doubled, one in 4 hearts doubled, and...one NS in 3 clubs, down one!

6 spades is easy to make if you want only 6. The logical play for 7 spades, taking AK of clubs and ruffing a club with dummy's 8, falls to the adverse break of clubs.

GIB shows that east can defeat 7 clubs double dummy only by leading a spade. I analyzed that dummy wins the spade queen, leads a club and west covers, so south wins and returns a heart to dummy to lead another club. This time west does not cover, and declarer is busted. If he wins in hand, he loses a trump later. If not, he cannot return safely to hand because west will ruff a spade.

The poor fellow who went down in 3 clubs won a diamond lead with the jack, led trumps to his AK, then gave up on drawing trumps. He played a spade to the queen, and the diamond ace was ruffed and overruffed with the club five. At this moment declarer can win the jack of trumps, throw west in with the ten, win the heart return and run spades for 12 tricks. Even if he doesn't know the distribution he could win a spade return too, no problem. Instead he puts down the queen of hearts...and loses to west's king! Now a heart return to the ace, diamond ruff by declarer, ace of spades ruffed by west, heart ruffed by declarer, another spade ruffed by west, and finishing with two good hearts for the defense. Oh dear.
Handviewer link: http://www.bridgebase.com/tools/handviewer...TSTHJD4DKDQH5SJ

[olliebol]

Well after the 4♦ bid by partner i would have bid 6♦.Not much better. You have my sympathy.

[jjbrr]

How long would it take 1000 monkeys at 1000 typewriters to duplicate this auction?

[matmat]

jjbrr, on Feb 7 2010, 03:46 PM, said:

How long would it take 1000 monkeys at 1000 typewriters to duplicate this auction?

yes, but how long would it take 1000 cats in hats?

[jjbrr]

wat?

[wank]

this is absurd. how can poorbridge be in inverted commas?

[ynrobinson]

"Poorbridge" refers to a website by that name, which collected funny bridge deals from Durham (UK) but has not been updated recently.

I scored up another "poorbridge" 7♣ contract minutes ago on BBO. I won't type out the hand because it's too time consuming for too little benefit. Here is the Handviewer link: http://www.bridgebase.com/tools/handviewer...4DKHQDTSTHAHKDQ

A10xx
--
x
AQJ98xxx

My hand seems to come right from a solver's club puzzle. One reason I bid weirdly on BBO is that I'm afraid partner will pass my forcing bids, so without the confidence to take it slow, I'll blast into games and slams. Opponents pass. 1♣ - 1♥ - 1♠. So far so good; it makes sense to show the spades then jump in clubs on my third turn, for example if partner says 2♦ I'll move to 4♣ and I think (I hope?) that's game forcing. Partner, also apparently fearing that I'll pass his forcing bid, goes straight to 4NT! I decided I'm not waiting for partner to make the decisions, so if 2 aces and a void isn't good enough I don't know what is. I bid 7♣ straightaway!

QJ9
KQ10xxxx
Ax
K

Defender leads a diamond, which theoretically is the only way to beat the slam because it forces my ace to destroy the entry. Now I must cash the club king and finesse in spades without drawing trumps first. I put down the queen of spades, and RHO covers with the king. Yes! I win the ace, draw trumps, and play off my winners, too giddy to claim. A look at the scoreboard shows one pair at 7♣ doubled, three at 6♣ (one of them doubled), and three at 5♣ -- all but one of them making 13 tricks. (Other pairs played heart or notrump contracts, or defended EW's 10-card diamond fit.)

RHO had Kxxxx of spades. From the fact that I bid 1 spade showing four cards, and dummy has three cards, and he himself has five cards, he should deduce that partner has just one spade (or maybe none). Therefore he cannot possibly benefit by covering the king. I was fortunate not only that RHO had the king (a 50-50 chance) but that he played it.