[slothy]

DOPI (abbr.)

An acronym that transforms into an adjective that your partner calls you when you pass an opponents bid with an Ace.

[slothy]

Field (n. v.)

1. Size of a tourney.
2. Being aware that partner has psyched in the absence of a call that reveals the psyche.
3. Where you will dump your partners body after he continuously perpetrates 2.

[slothy]

Flat (adj.)

Antonym of Double Squeeze (see Double Squeeze)

[slothy]

odd (adj.)

1. a pip card that has a modulus of 1 when divided by 2.
2. the character of the players who you always seem to pick to play with from the Partnership Desk.

[helene_t]

Cascade, on Jun 13 2009, 07:40 AM, said:

symmetric relay (n.)

Method for two players equally without judgement.

Tarzan Precision (n.)
System in which a 1♣ opening means "me Tarzan, you Jane". If you want the roles to be reversed, you open something else.

[slothy]

False Claim (n.)

What you believe your pick-up partner has done after 3 hands of bridge and you look at his profile and he has put expert as his Skill Level.

[aisha]

DONT (int.)

With regard to bidding, what one shouldn't do over NT.

[slothy]

Hesitation (n.)

A period of time shorter than a huddle (see huddle) and always 25 times longer than the time it takes ones opponents to inform one that one has taken it.

[slothy]

Pass Out Seat (n.)

When you are dealer, the empty seat on your right previously occupied by the diabetic opponent who had forgotten to take his insulin shot.

[slothy]

Partner (n.)

One of the three opponents sat at your table who just happens to be sat diametrically opposite you.

[slothy]

Pull (v.)

The one conciliatory action one can do to one's female partner if her looks are a damn sight better than her bridge ability.

[Aberlour10]

Brown Sticker

Not Highly but still very Unamerican Methods.

[slothy]

Brown Sticker (n.)

alt. a phrase used to describe the adhesive quality of one's underwear after one reaches a small slam in a suit you had not bid until the 6 level, when you suddenly realise that you have to play it.

[slothy]

Huddle (n.)

A period of time equal in length to 2 hesitations (SI Unit) ; the first hesitation being a mental equivalent to a dog-paddle as your thoughts scurry around to understand what partner's bid meant and the second a mental equivalent to a nose-dive as you try and conjure up a least lame as possible excuse to justify the first.

[slothy]

Mirror (n.)

A distribution of 2 hands that makes you reflect you should have bid NT instead of settle for a suit contract.

[mtvesuvius]

Responsive (n.)

Partner often lacks this charactaristic after you put him in 2 contracts in a row that go for a 4 digit number.

[slothy]

Distributional Points (n.)

A recently rediscovered system of arithmetic originally used by Mayan real estate accountants and readopted by certain types of bridge players.

Although intensely complicated to master (Teochitataul The Elder from Acapulco was the most successful exponent in his day) once understood it is exceptionally accurate.

Adapted for bridge, the process is as follows :-

1) add together the length of your longest suits.
2) To this add a weighted sum of your high card points in your longer suits
3) Subtract mercy points for honours in short suits
4) Subtract the number of times you thought during the session that you wish you never opened your bludy hand

Once you have finished the above arithmetic calculation, it astonishingly always equals -800.

[slothy]

Discussion (n.)

Vocalised partnership interaction. If made after a board has been played it is normally heated, if made before a board has been played it is normally cool.

[slothy]

Insufficient Bid (n.)

Phrase adequately describing partners raise to the 2 level with a 14 count and trump support.

[slothy]

Onside / Offside (.adj)

Onside : The placing of a critical honour card when you are defending.
Offside : The placing of a critical honour card when you are declaring.