Some people don't get the idea that on-line bridge with pick up (impromptu) partners is quite different from real world bridge. For one thing, hammering out a list of agreements can be very time consuming considering the typing and potential language problems. So I totally favor allow exchanges such as "do you play DONT or Cappelletti" before you bid over their opening bid of 1NT on the second hand played. Or a person responding to an obvious 4NT Blackwood saying "03, 14,... " or "14,03..." or even "standard BW." To be fair to all tables (read the people holding your cards at the other tables), you have to allow this reasonable accommodation to your impromptu partnership opponents.
There are things we can all do to assist in this situation.
- Fill out several different basic convention cards and try to get your partner to agree to one of them, listing the conventions you like. If everyone had a partnership CC filled out, such table talk would of course not be necessary.
- If your partner opens 1NT and your right hand opponent in a very impromptu partnership bids 2H, ask him PUBLICALLY if that is natural or some convention. This provides information to his partner (This could be ackward if you happen to hold long Hearts as you may accused of providing illegal information to your partner... try to use this type of action only to help prevent confusion by your impromptu opponents).
- Try to create an environment where your opponents feel comfortable straightening out clear mistakes. For instance, if the bidding goes 1NT-P-2H-P-P-? to you, before you pass, ask your RHO if 2H was jacoby, and if it was, ask LHO if he would like to take his pass back. I want to take advantage of my opponents bad play and bad bids to get a good score, but not on a systemic confusion like this last auction... this is the type of thing take the table talk and your own actions should try to prevent. What fun is it to play against opponents sitting in a 3-1 Heart fit at the two level with 4S cold? Sure you get a good result but is that bridge?
- Never, every use table talk to change the meaning of your bids. If you would bid 2NT as unusual, don't now bid 2NT and say "Natural" when you have a huge balanced hand, then "unusual" the next time when you have a minor two suiter. Or make a jump overcall and say "weak" one time and "strong" the next. That is, don't take advantage of the liberty to straighten out possible new partnership confusion using table talk to change your agreements based upon the hand you are holding.
The people upset about table talk are simply applying the ethics they learned at the real world table to on-line bridge. I understand, and appreciate their concerns, which is why I don't actually use table talk even with impromptu partners. The reason, is I agree to some specific basic bidding method (2/1, BBO basic/advanced, SAYC, precision, KS, etc) and assume every bid has it normal natural meaning if not SPECIFICALLY discussed. And, I try to post a convention card before the first hand... if at all possible, and get my partner to agree to what is on it, or to tell me what not to play.