it went
p-p-p-2NT
p-3♥-p-3♠
p-3NT-end
♦3 lead. I ask RHO what their leads are, she answers "2/4", I ask for the jack quickly, she covers and then I think for about 10 or 15 seconds before playing the ace (mental blockage). King of clubs, taken, diamond return to the ten and ace, club to jack and small, LHO leads another diamond, taken by my nine, and after seeing that hearts break, I claim +2.
RHO asks for the ref, and explains to him "I think declarer just did something very unfair", that my hesitation suggested diamond weakness and that her pd would have shifted to a spade to keep me to 9 tricks. The kib, who's RHO's mentor, nods and tells the ref "of course, she's obviously right." I turn to him and politely ask him not to interfere.
He then starts to yell at me, something along the lines of "just who do you think you are? you're but a simple player here, you brat. I am the secretary of the federation, I can talk to any ref whenever I please. You can cheat as much as you like but I can't talk? What exactly do you think you're doing here? I can disqualify you if you don't shut up." I tell the ref that I really didn't know what to do, but I of course admitted that it wasn't normal to ask for a card instantly. When the TD later told RHO that her pd should have known I had the 9 of diamonds from her ten, she said "as I recall, the rules forbid declarer to intentionally mislead his opponents with his tempo".
I realize it was not nice what I did. I would like to ask you if a player has or has not the right to ask a kibitzer not to talk to the TD. And your opinion about this thing in general.

Help
