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"Yes, yes. This is a very serious charge, I know. But, as a general rule, it does not seem that we want to put innocent people in jail, or to sentence them for 13 counts if they only did one."
Scary that this needed to be stated.
And now for something completely different...
My favorite quote to three judges of an appellate panel, at oral argument:
"Let me as@-fu!$ you. It will be over in a minute."
Yes, I actually had the opportunity to say this very thing to three judges in a public hearing. Better yet -- I was able to do this with a number of newspaper reporters and concerned citizens listening in.
The context? My client was accused of doing the Senator trick in a Cleveland restroom. The Ohio law he was charged with seemed discriminatory, as he could not be convicted of as serious an offense had he done the exact same thing in the women's restroom, same-gender-solicitation being required. So, I took the prosecutors very eloquent statement of facts and changed the he's him's and his' to she's, her's, and hers' to illustrate that the "outrageous nature of his conduct" was irrelevant.
The bonus was no contempt charge for saying to three judges, in court, in front of reporters, "Let me @ss &#ck you. It will be over in a minute" and then finish my oral argument "in a minute."
BTW -- We won the case.
