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i dont play ...

#1 User is offline   dogsbreath 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 10:04

I don't play with Polish players ..'cos I'm too lazy to learn WJ2005

I don't play with USA players ..'cos lots of them are Yankee fans

I don't play with French players ..'cos one of them was rude to me in 1971

I don't play with Dutch players ..'cos one of them stole my bicycle

I don't play with Irish players ..'cos they cant count and they chat too much

I don't play with Turkish players ..'cos they always re-double

I don't play with Australians ..'cos they only want to play in the middle of the night

I don't play with Chinese ..'cos they write daft characters in my chat box

I don't play in Individual events ..'cos I get all the weak players

I don't play in Team events ..'cos I don't like the barometer

I don't play in Pay tourneys ..'cos I'm too mean

I don't play in MP tourneys ..'cos they're too slow


I havent played much lately .. has anyone got any suggestions?

Rgds Dogsbreath
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#2 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 10:27

Get over the bicylce. It happens, don't let it ruin your life.
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#3 User is offline   joker_gib 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 10:29

Watch vugraph ! ;) :lol:
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#4 User is offline   Gerben42 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 12:01

We play the Polish Club! <sing> ;)

P.S. If you have lost your bicycle, ask a nearby junkie if he will sell it back to you.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!
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#5 User is offline   Cascade 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 14:56

DrTodd13, on Mar 1 2008, 07:11 AM, said:

I thought the reason not to play with Turks is that none of them can figure out how to accurately self-rate.

Did they catch that off the Americans? :)
Wayne Burrows

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dunno how to play 4 card majors - JLOGIC
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#6 User is offline   helene_t 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 20:36

han, on Feb 29 2008, 05:27 PM, said:

Get over the bicylce. It happens, don't let it ruin your life.

Sr Han but this attitude drives me nuts. Bicycle theft is extremely annoying, I never understood why it is considered normal in the Netherlands.
The world would be such a happy place, if only everyone played Acol :) --- TramTicket
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#7 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 22:18

It was a joke. Hate to spell it out but I was suggesting that none of the things that dogsbreath mentioned were terrible but not playing with Dutch bridge players would ruin his life.

I did not mean that stealing bikes isn't bad, I hate it.
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#8 User is offline   kenrexford 

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Posted 2008-February-29, 22:37

Han, have you no shame? Did you not see what horror this caused Mr. Herman?
"Gibberish in, gibberish out. A trial judge, three sets of lawyers, and now three appellate judges cannot agree on what this law means. And we ask police officers, prosecutors, defense lawyers, and citizens to enforce or abide by it? The legislature continues to write unreadable statutes. Gibberish should not be enforced as law."

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#9 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 01:15

han, on Feb 29 2008, 11:18 PM, said:

It was a joke. Hate to spell it out but I was suggesting that none of the things that dogsbreath mentioned were terrible but not playing with Dutch bridge players would ruin his life.

I did not mean that stealing bikes isn't bad, I hate it.

you hate it, but you do it anyway?!
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#10 User is offline   Gerben42 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 05:31

At some point one of my bicycles was quite broken and I wanted to "give it up" so I just parked it somewhere, expecting it to be stolen :) This worked.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!
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#11 User is offline   dicklont 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 07:20

Gerben42, on Mar 1 2008, 06:31 AM, said:

At some point one of my bicycles was quite broken and I wanted to "give it up" so I just parked it somewhere, expecting it to be stolen :) This worked.

Two wrongs don't make a right...
Haha! Never seen a more appropriate signature!

You could just buy a new (or second hand) bike and trade in the old one.
You might not get a discount for it but the shop will know how to dispose of it properly.
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Finding your own mistakes is more productive than looking for partner's. It improves your game and is good for your soul. (Nige1)
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#12 User is offline   Fluffy 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 10:20

You can play spannish tournamets, but I'm afraid you won't understand a word of what they say. And no, nobody counts there.
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#13 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 10:28

Fluffy, on Mar 1 2008, 11:20 AM, said:

You can play spannish tournamets, but I'm afraid you won't understand a word of what they say. And no, nobody counts there.

You dont need to understand anything Martin.....

just watch out for the jajajajajajaja bit..it means someone said something funny

(or, as is more likely the case, they were ridiculing your declarer play).


May i suggest you play against Tibetan players.....they are very honest and good company...

The only thing is on the 2 occasions i did play against them they made a rather protracted brb as they had to go throw some more yak dung on the (eco-friendly) stove in the corner of the yurt :)

On one occasion, i made the comment, ' I smell a rat' after he made a rather curious discard....his reply was that i must have a sixth sense to know what he had just thrown on the stove :*
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#14 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 10:46

Perhaps you could take up the cello?
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#15 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 10:49

Winstonm, on Mar 1 2008, 11:46 AM, said:

Perhaps you could take up the cello?

was that a typo Winston

Did you mean to say Jello?
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#16 User is offline   JanM 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 12:01

Gerben42, on Mar 1 2008, 06:31 AM, said:

At some point one of my bicycles was quite broken and I wanted to "give it up" so I just parked it somewhere, expecting it to be stolen :) This worked.

Chip refused to give up the bike he'd had since college because it was so old that no-one would steal it. It finally got so old that the repair shop told him it was dangerous and he had to get a new one and a good lock!
Jan Martel, who should probably state that she is not speaking on behalf of the USBF, the ACBL, the WBF Systems Committee, or any member of any Systems Committee or Laws Commission.
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#17 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2008-March-01, 14:57

slothy, on Mar 1 2008, 11:49 AM, said:

Winstonm, on Mar 1 2008, 11:46 AM, said:

Perhaps you could take up the cello?

was that a typo Winston

Did you mean to say Jello?

No, statistics verify that less than 1% of the world's population rides a cello to work' however, cello theft may rise drmatically in the future due to rising fuel costs.

But, hey, you got to take some risks in life.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#18 User is offline   mr1303 

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Posted 2008-March-02, 04:02

Riding a cello?

Where I come from the cello is essentially a big violin!

Or was I missing something there?
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#19 User is offline   Rossoneri 

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Posted 2008-March-02, 10:46

Someone could be the next YoYoMa!

Or you could play with Singaporeans. We look like we are speaking English, but you will realise that you don't understand after a few sentences. =)
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#20 User is offline   zasanya 

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Posted 2008-March-02, 11:10

Play with the Indians.Very soon you will convince yourself that you are 'real expert'.
Aniruddha
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