[brianshark]

The girl is either genuinely just passing throguh looking for a catch-up, or she still has lingering feelings and is curious about whether they might make another go of things. If it's the latter, then she will be worrying every bit as much as he is and he needs to 'man up' and be the one to make the decision, for both of their peace of mind.

My advice to your friend is:

1. Accept that they won't get back together, that the relationship ran it's course and they are both better off moving on.

2. If, at any point in the meeting, she asks (most likely indirectly) whether they might possibly get back together, then he should answer a clear no.

Example:

Her: "I wonder what it would be like if we both got into <Ivy League College>... we might still be together now."
Him: "Yeah, it's funny the way things work out, but maybe it was for the best."

[hotShot]

It is her hometown too and if they had a relation over 3 years, they will have a lot of common friends.
So even if she's there only for a holiday, there is a good chance they will meet accidentally or that they will be asked about each other by those friends.
The best way to avoid awkward situations is to arrange a meeting.

[han]

I would probably go and meet her. It may hurt a bit but it will likely be worth it. What she is thinking is irrelevant, he should have no hopes of getting back together.

If he doesn't want to then he shouldn't feel obligated to meet her, he should only do it if he thinks it would be good for himself. Ditto for her.

[goobers]

Why are people being so harsh to the girl?

We can conjecture all we want, but basically he can't know until he meets her. Even then, he may not know afterward, but if your friend is emotionally able to meet her in person, well then he hasn't lost anything.

All that matters is whether he wants to meet her or not, and whether or not he is stable enough.

[han]

Yep, well said goobers.

[goobers]

mike777, on Jan 23 2008, 06:49 PM, said:

pclayton, on Jan 23 2008, 05:54 PM, said:

Jlall, on Jan 23 2008, 01:43 PM, said:

it's just like peyton and lucas on one tree hill

or Bo and Hope on Days of our Lives.

Sorry, showing my age.

I think he meant to write Luke and Laura
http://en.wikipedia....nd_Laura_Webber

I have no idea what a one tree hill is.

It's a teenie bopper tv show. I think you're better off not knowing.

[luke warm]

i was alright
for awhile
i could smile for awhile
~~~
you couldn't know
that i was cry i i ing over you
cry i i ing
over you

i prefer rebekah del rio's version (one of the best performances i've ever heard) even though i can't speak spanish

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=oddg6dCB7FE

[Fluffy]

helene_t, on Jan 24 2008, 12:12 AM, said:

I see nothing abnormally (female or otherwise) in her behavior, the story sounds quite common.

Yeah, quite common, he wants something more, but she wants them to only be friends, somehow she always wins this game getting what she wants and he will be tortured forever

[goobers]

Jlall, on Jan 27 2008, 05:08 AM, said:

For the record, my post was a joke which was meant to insinuate something.. hope this was obvious enough

I failed to pick up on that; I assumed you were serious because you actually knew the names of people on the show