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Rubbish Conventions

#1 User is offline   pasker 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 12:27

Hi all. For a joke a friend and I decided we would play a night of bridge using the worst system and conventions that we could find.
Any Suggestions? By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

Thanks Ben Paske
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#2 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 12:38

Ever try playing with NO conventions? :o Not stayman nor blackwood just all natural bids.....it is a hoot :P and quite confusing to the opps (if not to yourselves as well) B) and you don't have to spend any time learning anything that might contribute to the debacle due to not playing the "convention" properly.... :rolleyes:
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#3 User is offline   AlexOgan 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 13:13

pasker, on Jun 9 2006, 01:27 PM, said:

Hi all. For a joke a friend and I decided we would play a night of bridge using the worst system and conventions that we could find.
Any Suggestions? By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

Thanks Ben Paske

"Stolen bid" doubles at all levels after we open 1NT and they overcall?
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#4 User is offline   kenrexford 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 13:15

I cannot remember the name of the convention, but there is a convention where a 4D response to a 1NT opening asks for exact strength, up the line. 4H = 15, 4S = 16, and 4NT = 17. Extrapolating, I like, as an idiot convention, using this always. Thus, a jump to 4D always asks for strength, in HCP's, up the line, starting with the minimum. E.g., 1S-P-4D!-P-? 4H = 11, 4S = 12, 4NT = 13, 5C = 14, 5D = 15, and so on.

If you really want to make best use of this nonsense, I'd suggest that the bid of 5D be a "Queen ask." Why not???
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#5 User is offline   EricK 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 13:30

Is this actually legal? Doesn't one have to play to win?
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#6 User is offline   Walddk 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 13:34

kenrexford, on Jun 9 2006, 09:15 PM, said:

I cannot remember the name of the convention, but there is a convention where a 4D response to a 1NT opening asks for exact strength, up the line.  4H = 15, 4S = 16, and 4NT = 17.

Tarp's 4♦. Invented by Kaj Tarp of Århus, Denmark.

4♦ is range asking right enough. 4♥ minimum, 4♠ medium, 4NT maximum. 4NT over 4♥ and 4♠ are sign-offs.

If responder has enough for slam, he will now bid his 4-card suits up-the-line at the 6-level (even 7-level). If opener has 4 cards in the suit, he passes; if not they bid 4-card suits in turn until a fit has been found or 6NT (7NT) has been reached.

I don't think any sensible person in Denmark plays this, excuse me, nonsense convention these days, but I know that a few did 30 years ago (no, I was not among them).

Roland
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#7 User is offline   awm 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 13:42

At some point a friend and I devised a card like this. Basically the constraint was that every convention on the card had to be one we'd actually seen someone play in an acbl event (so we can't just make up total nonsense). A few of the features I can remember:

(1) 16-18 notrumps at NV, 10-12 notrumps at V.
(2) "Could be short" in both minors, open balanced hands 1♣/1♦ based on strength.
(3) 2♦ mini-roman, 2♥ flannery
(4) CAPP vs strong notrumps, DONT vs weak notrumps
(5) 2♣ strong with step responses showing "points."
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#8 User is offline   ArcLight 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 13:55

Strong 1NT Response structure

1NT - 2♦ or 2♥ (transfer)
2NT = maximum

Now opposite pards weak hand you can go down a few doubled at the 3 level when he was trying to help you.

AND

1NT - 2♣
2NT = maximum

Now you have succeeeded in using up a level of bidding for little gain.
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#9 User is offline   SoTired 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 14:32

The All Psyche System (may be illegal)

0-3 = Open 1N
4-10 = Open in best suit and make non-jump, non-reverse, non-NT rebid
11-14 = Open in worst suit and make jump, reverse, or NT rebid
15+ = pass
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#10 User is offline   kfgauss 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 15:08

pasker, on Jun 9 2006, 06:27 PM, said:

By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

Very good. Make sure all 4♣ bids are Gerber. (And personally, I think straight gerber would be even more useless than actually having it be RKC gerber.)

Might as well have all 5♣ bids be super gerber while you're at it.

Andy
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#11 User is offline   Walddk 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 15:21

kfgauss, on Jun 9 2006, 11:08 PM, said:

pasker, on Jun 9 2006, 06:27 PM, said:

By the way I have already got Roman Key Card Gerber on the card

Very good. Make sure all 4♣ bids are Gerber.

Why of course ("selbstverständlich", as they would say south of the border), what else can 4♣ be?

Roland
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#12 User is offline   CarlRitner 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 15:44

Al_U_Card, on Jun 9 2006, 02:38 PM, said:

Ever try playing with NO conventions? :o Not stayman nor blackwood just all natural bids.....

No, but I have tried the "Nothing But Pass" system and it's almost amazing how well it works, depending of course on how quickly the opps catch on.

Carl
Cheers,
Carl
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#13 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 16:33

Remember, if you're playing 4C always Gerber, that even (3S)-4C is Gerber. Note - this was thrown and caught by one pair I directed recently. No Alert, of course.

This beats my previous record of 1C-1S; 2C-2S; 3S-4C; 4S AP. Yes, 4C was Gerber. No, they didn't think this was unusual enough to let us know about, either.

Michael.
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#14 User is offline   jdonn 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 16:36

My favorite was opponents
1♠ 4♣ 4♦ 5♣ 5♠
It is not just the fact that 4♣ and 5♣ were gerber, but they bid 5♣ despite being off two aces hehe.

I did not ask questions as we cashed our ace and ace king.
Please let me know about any questions or interest or bug reports about GIB.
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#15 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 16:37

I once played:

2C minor-suit Flannery
2D mini-Roman
2H Major-suit Flannery
2S Strong

- just because it's GCC legal. We did something else warped, I believe, but I can't remember what it was - strong 3s or something.

We played 5-rule Club once;
1) 1C 16+ any.
2) 1C-1D shows a non-GF.
3) 1M is 8-12, 4+M
4) 1NT is 12-15 balanced
5) 1D is 12-15 unbalanced.

We were playing standard weak 2s (1-7 HCP), but were told that in this club it had to be "5&5". So we filled a hole in our system - 2x became 13-16, 5+. That, actually, caused more trouble than the insanely weak 2s.

Michael.
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#16 User is offline   Echognome 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 18:13

Quite a common system here at the bad clubs is:

1NT (12-14) - ?

2♠ - 10 hcp
2NT - 11 hcp

I also remember playing a pair where 1-level overcalls showed 10-14 hcp and 2-level overcalls showed 15+. We played against them for 12 boards at teams. The one hand where they had a 2-level overcall, it worked out ok for them. Needless to say our bidding was great that set as we had the auction to ourselves for most of it.

I think one must add the old direct cuebid shows a strong hand with first round control.

Of course playing all these conventions means you won't be bidding that often.
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#17 User is offline   MickyB 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 18:22

Echognome, on Jun 10 2006, 01:13 AM, said:

Quite a common system here at the bad clubs is:

1NT (12-14) - ?

2♠ - 10 hcp
2NT - 11 hcp

Think it is 11 hcp and 12 hcp, you wouldn't want to be in 3NT with fewer than 25 points.

Remember to use (this) system on over a 1NT overcall.
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#18 User is offline   david_c 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 18:24

Defence to a weak NT: 2♣ overcall shows a weak NT hand. (Yes, there really are people that play this.)
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#19 User is offline   kfgauss 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 18:31

MickyB, on Jun 10 2006, 12:22 AM, said:

Echognome, on Jun 10 2006, 01:13 AM, said:

Quite a common system here at the bad clubs is:

1NT (12-14) - ?

2♠ - 10 hcp
2NT - 11 hcp

Think it is 11 hcp and 12 hcp, you wouldn't want to be in 3NT with fewer than 25 points.

Remember to use (this) system on over a 1NT overcall.

As long as this isn't used in a Walter the Walrus sort of way, the thought of having a mild invite and a strong invite really isn't so bad. In fact, with some partners I use 4♠ as a strong invite to 6NT (as well as for hands in search of suit fits to play instead) and 4NT as a mild invite to 6NT.

Perhaps the point is that 2♠ has significantly better uses, while 4♠ may not.

Andy
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#20 User is offline   Double ! 

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Posted 2006-June-09, 21:59

I can think of two rubbish conventions:

1) "Garbage Stayman", and
2) "TRASH"



pardon the puns :o

DHL
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