[42]

Hi!
I am posting because I am interested whether others had this feeling before. I am so tired of all that working on a system, on technics, on partnership understanding, on everything. That what started as a pleasant hobby and then becoming sports is at the moment a kind of duty. We (me too!) want to play in a big event (one time in life...) and therefore it is natural to work, being last is neither a goal nor a thrill. BUT as it turned out I have not much time for relaxing (only 2 or so hours in the evening), the rest is filled with work: uni, house, BRIDGE --> partnership bidding, being killed by the GIBs in matchpoint scoring (weird scores from others, and the GIBs are most of the time hard opps, they play well imo: find the right switch, give ruffs, declare well). My partner has more time than me and expects the same enthusiasm (I had this, of course, and suggested working, so he did nothing wrong! But after 6 months I feel I am done, my head is full). Since it is a gift to have a partner, I don't want to disappoint him (I never want to disappoint ANYone), I don't take the break which I would need, also because time runs out. A real dilemma.
When I read what other members of the forum play and know, what and how many books they read, which programs they use to improve and so on, I feel like being the most stupid mouse on earth. Better to go back into my hole... *piep*

[hotShot]

Dear Caren,
don't put to much pressure on yourself. It kills the fun and worst of all, it reduces your effectiveness. You are overtrained.
What you need is partnership practice, both bidding and playing. Try to get your partner to play with you and drop everything else. If the time runs out so be it, all the work you have done already was not wasted. Only if you know very little, learning the last days and hours will make a significant difference. The purpose of last minute learning is mainly to fight "stage fright". It only fills your short term memory and will be gone a few hours later.
I guess you are starting to get nervous, mainly because you don't want to disappoint anyone, including yourself. Fred said in another thread that one of the most important skills of a good bridge player is to focus on the actual board. Especially don't whine about finished board and don't think about those boards that are yet to come.
Focussing on what you are doing right now, is training for bridge too and you can do it all day.

Good luck!

[luke warm]

hi caren

i don't know where you and partner are in your preparations, but i'd suggest taking some time off from playing/practicing (at least the way i think you're doing it) and kib some of the really great matches bbo has every day/evening... kib with your partner and bid the hands in your system, via private chat... have fun with it, save the hands where misunderstandings occurred so you can look at them together later...

i've really found that this helps, both in the bidding and play (for example, when you see fantoni make a great defensive switch, discuss with partner how he *knew* to do that)

[han]

It is rare for partners to be exactly the same. Usually one partner has more time, or is more ambitious, motivated, etc. I suggest that you just tell your partner that right now it is a bit too much for you, he will understand.

I've been on both sides of this several times with different partners and these roles can change over time. I feel very strongly that it shouldn't be such a problem if you are honest about it. If it turns out that it is a problem, well then you should perhaps both find someone else to play with, but I would be very surprised if this is the case for you.

[Gerben42]

Hi Caren, I found that when you are stuck in heat 3 for a longer period just stay away from bridge for a week or so. I know this is hard but I've been there also. Everything I touched was wrong, couldn't concentrate because of that, etc. Relax. Verona will be a LOT of fun and your life won't depend on it. Of course it would be nice to get a good result there, but staying in the non-working routine won't get you that.

I know that you are a good player and I guess you have a good chance to make the mixed qualification round in Verona if you get your act together.

[FrancesHinden]

Caren,

If you aren't a pro, then bridge is supposed to be fun. If it isn't fun, you should be doing something else. There are ways to have fun with bridge without it being so intense - if being killed at matchpoints by the GIBs is no fun, have an evening out at your local club (if that's possible), or watch a bit of vugraph, or think about the play and defense problems posted here or elsewhere. Or have some time off.

I didn't know it was Verona you were working up to, but if I were you I would try not to take it too seriously. We're playing in the mixed pairs there as well, but we look on it as a holiday. You can't expect to travel (I don't know how far for you) a long way and then do well in a tournament if you are working full time as well. We played in Tenerife (European Open) last year and Ostend (Euro mixed) a few years before and in both of them we did very badly on the final day, partly because we ran out of stamina. Also, I don't know if you have played many (any) big international pairs tournaments, but it is a bit of a shock playing against so many people whose methods you don't understand. It's definitely harder work to get your head round everyone else's system inferences, not your own and also more tiring.

I look on a tournament like Verona as a chance to meet & play against lots of people I've only heard of, and to see a bit of Verona itself. We'll play the best we can, and it would be nice to do well, but in all seriousness it's better to do the hard work and preparation for something you have a reasonable chance of winning.

[42]

I thank you very much for your replies!! I think I come out of my hole again and am happy that I did not write a "goodbye-thread" , but I know myself: the world looks deep black when I am tired, next day it is usually better and I have most of the time a solution or way to handle the situation. My partner and me talked about that all today (he knows already that I panic before a bigger event). We decided to stop "working on bridge" at the end of this week and think that our system is ok so far. Today we compared sheets on which we both bid 180 given hands for varied bidding situations, there were only 5 different answers (but not lightyears between the decisions) in difficult hands!
Yes, Verona will mainly be holiday But I cannot deny to be ambitious... With what I also stressed myself was that I feel shy to play in a WC, I hate self-overrating and sometimes do the opposite. Pony Nehmert told me today that many bridge tourists will also play, so....
♥!
Caren

[FrancesHinden]

42, on May 29 2006, 04:29 PM, said:

Pony Nehmert told me today that many bridge tourists will also play, so....
♥!
Caren

You can see the list of who has entered so far at

EcatsBridge webpage. (Are you Caren Grenz?)

The EBU also has a list of those entered from England, for example. Looking at the English pairs there are some pairs whom I know don't do very well at their local club duplicate never mind a world championship.

What's more, most of the top players aren't playing in their regular partnerships because there aren't enough good women to go round, so if you have sound partnership understanding you already have an advantage.

[42]

Back home now I am glad that I played in Verona, it was a real good experience.
Working on the system payed because we had no misunderstandings, bad results were caused by bad play / defense / judgement. In the beginning I made myself "small" when facing "famous" people, later I noticed that ALL have problems from time to time and grew
The atmosphere was nice, playing with screens is comfortable. Meeting friends was important, too, I love that; especially talking some words with Fred, Sheri and Brad was something that I don't want to miss!
For what it's worth, I found it remarkable having played against Bill Gates. I am usually not after famous people (and I don't want to be in his skin, I love to have my personal freedom and peace), but still... My partner was excited and wanted to take pictures. I hate being on pictures and found the whole situation embarrassing, so I ran to the toilet. He borrowed a camera and was proud of having taken 10 fotos. In the end he had forgotten to open the lense.....
One night when I returned from a nice Tango event and waited for a taxi, a crowd of bridgeplayers arrived, among them Michael and Debbie Rosenberg and some other wellknown players; similar situations happened also when sitting in a restaurant: you could see for example the Hacketts or Bob Hamman sitting there or passing by. That is special, isn't it?
During the tournament I swore never to touch any card anymore in future, but now I would do it all again
I thank all who answered here or in private for the support and use Michael Jackson's sentence: I love you all!

[the hog]

Hi Caren, come and join me in Thailand. You'll get over the Blues quickly.
Ron

[42]

The_Hog, on Jun 21 2006, 10:11 AM, said:

Hi Caren, come and join me in Thailand. You'll get over the Blues quickly.
Ron

Thx for the offer! The landscape seems to be very nice! And I also like those crazy things like tooting while passing Buddha who is watching videos for not being bored! But although I LOVE motocycling I think I would be scared to do there. What the hell is a Durian? I know that one of the dishes here in the BBF is/was a Durian cake.
Do people play bridge where you are right now? Did you during the last months?
Unfortunately I must work....
Best wishes, Ron!!!
Caren

[the hog]

Hi Caren,
A durian is an exotic fruit that stinks like crap but tastes nice. Many hotels have banned guests bringing it in. No, I have not played Bridge since I left, sorry to say.
Cheers
ron

[paulg]

Like hotels, most airlines prohibit taking the durian fruit on flights as it seems impossible to remove the smell from the airconditioning.

I came across it in Borneo where the taxi driver insisted on it being held outside the car after we'd purchased one. Nice taste but I'm not sure it's worth the hassle

Paul