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Funny or/and stupid bridge tips don't take this one serious

#41 User is offline   Double ! 

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Posted 2005-October-10, 13:46

42, on Oct 9 2005, 05:25 AM, said:

Double !, on Oct 9 2005, 02:31 AM, said:

42, on Oct 6 2005, 02:54 AM, said:

The Q is always over the J

Do you mean to say that the queen is not always over the jack? Are you sure?

*hehe* That is of course the place where she belongs, but what in life is certain?

And sometimes the king is over the queen, and sometimes not and he needs to be handled with finesse. Queen over Jack, vice versa, King over Queen and vice versa. Sort of makes for flexibility (physical and otherwise) and intrigue. LOL Reminds me of a player at a club at which I used to play (when I used to play) who seemed to enjoy telling his partner/ dummy to "Mount that Queen" when lho played the Queen and dummy had the King. Tsk Tsk....Bridge Players..........................................................................

DHL
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#42 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2005-October-11, 13:27

The 7 is often a singleton and the Q is often accompanied by the 8. (from my 1st real pard who was also about 82 at the time)
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#43 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2005-October-11, 13:28

Whenever you table a dummy with 3 jacks, describe the hand as a "jack-off" :o
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#44 Guest_Jlall_*

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Posted 2005-October-11, 13:56

On that note, if you are playing a jack from dummy say "jack off the dummy." :o
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#45 User is offline   mycroft 

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Posted 2005-October-12, 12:12

Always say "duck it" when calling for a singleton Ace off dummy.
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#46 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2005-October-12, 12:16

Much better is a simple "play low please".
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#47 User is offline   GeeGee 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 09:11

FrancesHinden, on Oct 10 2005, 02:27 PM, said:

If you're playing a match against a team who have full-time day jobs, arrange it for late on a Thursday or Friday evening.

Disagree. As someone who does have a full-time day job, the worst night of all for anything, let alone teams bridge, is Tuesday. Don't know why.
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#48 User is offline   luke warm 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 18:39

Hannie, on Oct 12 2005, 01:16 PM, said:

Much better is a simple "play low please".

i love it
"Paul Krugman is a stupid person's idea of what a smart person sounds like." Newt Gingrich (paraphrased)
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#49 User is offline   JSilver 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 22:33

pclayton, on Oct 6 2005, 08:47 AM, said:

4 is always Gerber.

Wathcing a vugraph once, I saw one of the commentators (I forget whom) say, "If I had 10 secods to fill out a convention card, I would write on it '4 is never Gerber."
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent." --Isaac Asimov
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#50 User is offline   JSilver 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 22:49

dogsbreath, on Oct 7 2005, 05:57 PM, said:

..
The most useful convention in a new partnership is NMF (Not my fault).

Rgds Dog :D

My favorite convention in a new partenrship is ASBAF (all strange bids are forcing).
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent." --Isaac Asimov
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#51 User is offline   kenrexford 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 23:25

Maxim #1. Insanity breeds insanity. In other words, do something insane if you need the opponents to do something insane.

An example. I once held KJ109xxx on dummy in a side suit, suit contract. I was in dummy with only one more entry. I held a void in that long suit.

The King looked nice, as a smother of the Queen to the left, possibly. Or, perhaps small, trumping a stiff Ace? Better yet, the Jack, looking like a tricky play to get RHO to hop his Ace (thinking I held stiff Queen), possibly even catching Qx crashing to the left. So, I elected the 10.

Why? Weird begets weird, insanity breeds insanity, odd makes odd. RHO hopped the Ace. He turned up with AQxx. I have no explanation for the hop of the Ace (after great thought by RHO, too), except this maxim.

Several other examples I have seen.
"Gibberish in, gibberish out. A trial judge, three sets of lawyers, and now three appellate judges cannot agree on what this law means. And we ask police officers, prosecutors, defense lawyers, and citizens to enforce or abide by it? The legislature continues to write unreadable statutes. Gibberish should not be enforced as law."

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#52 User is offline   kenrexford 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 23:30

Maxim #2. When desperate, dazzle them with your b.s.

I have many times seen this maneuver work. You need an error from the opponents. So, come up with a sexy-looking play. They become amazed by this and forget anything else.

Unblock the Jack from Jx opposite xxx, for example. Play high from xxx. If the opponents lead the Ace, call for the Queen if KQJ tight is in dummy. Ruff high if you have AK tight in dummy in trumps. Whatever. The opponents love this stuff and reward you with a trick somewhere.
"Gibberish in, gibberish out. A trial judge, three sets of lawyers, and now three appellate judges cannot agree on what this law means. And we ask police officers, prosecutors, defense lawyers, and citizens to enforce or abide by it? The legislature continues to write unreadable statutes. Gibberish should not be enforced as law."

-P.J. Painter.
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#53 User is offline   kenrexford 

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Posted 2005-October-14, 23:33

Maxim #3. (Last one) Bid 1NT if three suits have been bid, no matter what you have.

For example, if the auction is one banana, one grape, one apple (or double), to you, bid 1NT no matter what you have. Long trumps? Sure. Short trumps? Sure. No trumps? Sure. It works.

Or, one banana-P-one grape-P-one heart. Overcall 1NT no matter what you have. This works too.
"Gibberish in, gibberish out. A trial judge, three sets of lawyers, and now three appellate judges cannot agree on what this law means. And we ask police officers, prosecutors, defense lawyers, and citizens to enforce or abide by it? The legislature continues to write unreadable statutes. Gibberish should not be enforced as law."

-P.J. Painter.
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#54 User is offline   farfie 

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Posted 2005-October-15, 01:23

when i went to a bridge table for the first time my part told me 3 important rules:
clubs are always 3/3
queen follows jack except in heart for queen of heart is loyal
queen/10 stiff always together
and for what i can read here these rules seem universal hehe.
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#55 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2005-October-17, 13:15

The longer you take to play, the better your choice will be.......or rather, the faster you play, the less likely you will think up something stupid to do....lol
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#56 User is offline   helene_t 

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Posted 2005-October-18, 00:33

We can learn a lot from football players: Don't blame bad results on partner. Blame them on the director.
The world would be such a happy place, if only everyone played Acol :) --- TramTicket
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