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Duplicate players tend to be rude! Rude players

#1 User is offline   toastlots 

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Posted 2017-September-24, 15:19

I started on the old BBO site years ago.
I play on this newer version for tournaments now and then
I play the majority on the older version as it still has rubber and for me thankfully that is still the case.
I tried duplicate tonight on the old version and within 15 minutes i had to boot a player because they were so rude.
I now remember the past years playing duplicate on both the old and this newer site and the days I got so fed up with rude players.
Why does duplicate bridge attract so many nasty players?
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#2 User is offline   661_Pete 

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Posted 2017-September-24, 15:48

I don't necessarily find that this is always the case. I've had a lot of good friendly sessions on BBO - in the Acol Club on the pick-up tables, and also in the AcolatBBO tourneys. All right, you're always going to get the occasional rotten egg or two in any bridge-playing community (see the thread I recently started on this subject).

Perhaps you could quantify what sort of 'rudeness' you are getting. Is it, constantly criticising your bidding or play, or is it more serious personal abuse?
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#3 User is offline   toastlots 

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Posted 2017-September-25, 01:50

Hi Pete
I have in the past experienced personal abuse yes, especially when I used to play a lot in the tournaments, and I did on a few occasions report the worst of those players.
I now only play the all day long tournaments as it is with GIBS not humans.
However, it is the other more common general rudeness of players that irritates me more.
Not saying hello when I welcome a player to my table, never saying a word throughout the session, moaning about the pace of play, their partners bidding or playing, just general lack of any social manners at all.
I have now been playing rubber only for some months and I have to say I have rarely come across a rude player.
I think that is why when I attempted duplicate yesterday for just a few hands and we got a rude player almost immediately on my table it brought back those memories of previous duplicate bridge.
It seems with some players than when they join someone else's table it becomes their table and they can act as they wish.
I do not care how good a bridge player they are, there are general standards of human behaviour, respect for others etc that seems very lacking in some people.
I will stick to Rubber for as long as I am able, it is far more relaxing which is why it still amazes me why it is not more popular, most seem to love the stress of duplicate, but why!
Thank you for replying.
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#4 User is offline   nige1 

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Posted 2017-September-25, 06:13

As Victor Mollo illustrated in his hilarious Menagerie books, Bridge players are a microcosm of the outside world. They are just as prone to ordinary human foibles (rudeness, lack of consideration, cheating, rationalisation, and so on). The internet renders offenders relatively immune to physical retaliation, which makes them braver. For example, read BBO discussions, especially in the Water Cooler.
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#5 User is offline   661_Pete 

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Posted 2017-September-25, 06:34

View Posttoastlots, on 2017-September-25, 01:50, said:

Not saying hello when I welcome a player to my table, never saying a word throughout the session

Ah, the 'silent player' syndrome. I must confess, I now and again lapse into 'silent' mode - usually because, instead of paying attention, I'm agonising with myself how I managed to make an utter cock-up of the previous hand! :unsure:

But I have to say, I really don't mind if players shun the chatline entirely. I recognise that there are some who need to devote all their energy to focussing on the bridge, rather than the chat. Perhaps you should have a re-think about this. I have had others complain to me (privately) about 'silent' players, and I've said the same to them. Chill out!

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moaning about the pace of play, their partners bidding or playing
This is more understandably annoying. I must admit, when it appears that a player has 'gone to sleep', I will come up with a remark like "are you there West?" or whatever. I hope that doesn't sound rude. And if the play is too slow (happens often enough!) I'll wait for a suitable break and then leave. Only in timed tourneys will I mention, as politely as I can, that "there is a time limit, you know"....

Hope this helps. As I said, try to live with people's little quirks!
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#6 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2017-September-25, 08:24

View Posttoastlots, on 2017-September-24, 15:19, said:

Why does duplicate bridge attract so many nasty players?

Duplicate bridge in general, or just online?

Face-to-face bridge used to have a similar reputation, but Zero Tolerance policies have improved behavior at clubs and tournaments. But there's no TD in the Main Bridge Club to enforce this. And people online tend to be more rude than they are in person -- the anonymity and lack of immediate feedback from body language lessens inhibitions.

#7 User is offline   LBengtsson 

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Posted 2017-September-25, 11:30

experts who are not expert need rude. byfċnen
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#8 User is offline   GrahamJson 

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Posted 2017-September-26, 02:39

I would be wary of considering silent players as being rude. I only play occasionally but when I do it's either with an iPad or on a Windows 8 pc. In both cases it can be difficult to play and chat at the same time. With the iPad the chat box almost completely covers the screen, making it impossible to see what is going on. With the PC the chat box is right at the bottom edge and can be off screen, making it impossible to access. In the latter case it is possible to get around this by reformatting the screen, but players may not have discovered this.
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#9 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2017-September-26, 07:31

Recently played in a team event (not online). The tables were pretty far apart, and my partner was not passing particularly far. When the player from the next table came near us to collect a board, he could have asked if pd could pass them a bit further. Instead he said,"could you put them further away?" Teammates said mypartner should have answered "yes" and proceeded to do so.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#10 User is offline   billyjef 

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Posted 2017-September-26, 08:29

Bridge, the social game that attracts the antisocial. As someone on the antisocial spectrum, I am attracted to the game because it allows me some connection with others that feels safe due to the structured form of interaction. That said, before I added a mindful practice to my life, I was baffled by how often I became angry playing a game that I loved and allowed me a safe form of connection. Now I see how many people like me are attracted to the game, many of them very good players, the only difference is their level of awareness of what drives their behavior; usually satisfied with post rationalizations and justifications for their rudeness.
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#11 User is offline   The_Badger 

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Posted 2017-September-26, 09:35

 billyjef, on 2017-September-26, 08:29, said:

Bridge, the social game that attracts the antisocial. As someone on the antisocial spectrum, I am attracted to the game because it allows me some connection with others that feels safe due to the structured form of interaction. That said, before I added a mindful practice to my life, I was baffled by how often I became angry playing a game that I loved and allowed me a safe form of connection. Now I see how many people like me are attracted to the game, many of them very good players, the only difference is their level of awareness of what drives their behavior; usually satisfied with post rationalizations and justifications for their rudeness.


Now that's what I call analysis :)
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#12 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2017-September-26, 09:47

 billyjef, on 2017-September-26, 08:29, said:

Bridge, the social game that attracts the antisocial. As someone on the antisocial spectrum, I am attracted to the game because it allows me some connection with others that feels safe due to the structured form of interaction. That said, before I added a mindful practice to my life, I was baffled by how often I became angry playing a game that I loved and allowed me a safe form of connection. Now I see how many people like me are attracted to the game, many of them very good players, the only difference is their level of awareness of what drives their behavior; usually satisfied with post rationalizations and justifications for their rudeness.


Yes, I can imagine that people with Aspergers may feel very anxious when social interaction is expected and may react negatively. But some people are just rude.

At the weekend I played in a team event, and during one match my partner was not passing the boards particularly well. The player at the other table came near us to collect a board and instead of making a polite request, muttered , "Could you put them any further away?" Teammates said my partner should have answered "yes" and proceed to do so!
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#13 User is offline   jaqban 

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Posted 2017-September-26, 11:14

I agree totally about how rude people can be on this site. I go in to play a relaxed game and partners make unnecessary comments and criticism even though I am clear that I am intermediate. I play at a club where we endeavour always to respect bridge etiquette but players on this site seem totally unaware of it.
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#14 User is offline   blackshoe 

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Posted 2017-October-01, 13:49

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