BBO Discussion Forums: Bridge and Sex Comparison - BBO Discussion Forums

Jump to content

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Bridge and Sex Comparison

#1 User is offline   MrAce 

  • VIP Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 6,659
  • Joined: 2009-November-14
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Houston, TX

Posted 2016-December-22, 07:58

There are many things that makes Bridge more appealing than "sex". I found this post by Andrew Winock on his FB profile and added some more to his list. Please add if you can think of other funny comparisons.

  • You do not have to hide your magazines,
  • It is OK to hire a pro.
  • It is Ok to be a pro.
  • You can play with strangers
  • There is no bridge transmitted diseases
  • It is OK to change your partners
  • You can still do it in your 90's
  • Having something short can be a good thing.
  • Playing two over one is appropriate.
  • You will have fun and will be respected for squeezing others.
  • 'Fast arrival' is not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Everyone goes down sometimes!
  • Lying to your pd is OK.
  • You are allowed to ruff your or other people's Queen!
  • You are allowed to watch other pairs.
  • Your age or your gender does not necessarily make you vulnerable.
  • Being partner with same gender is OK regardless of your religion.
  • No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.
  • No one will shoot you for squeezing their spouse!

"Genius has its own limitations, however stupidity has no such boundaries!"
"It's only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence!"





2

#2 User is offline   nige1 

  • 5-level belongs to me
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 7,011
  • Joined: 2004-August-30
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Glasgow Scotland
  • Interests:Poems Computers

Posted 2016-December-22, 08:45

According to his biographers, Ely Culbertson promoted Bridge on the basis of Sex, Snobbery and Women's Liberation. e.g. he encouraged suggestive terminology, especially about end-plays, for example entry squeeze strip.

0

#3 User is offline   Cyberyeti 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 8,461
  • Joined: 2009-July-13
  • Location:England

Posted 2016-December-22, 08:59

To rehash an old joke:

If you don't have a good partner you need a good hand :)
1

#4 User is offline   Winstonm 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 11,904
  • Joined: 2005-January-08
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tulsa, Oklahoma
  • Interests:Art, music

Posted 2016-December-22, 09:06

Because Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice are teammates.
If something cannot go on forever, it will stop. - Herb Stein
0

#5 User is offline   kenberg 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 8,883
  • Joined: 2004-September-22
  • Location:Northern Maryland

Posted 2016-December-22, 09:58

I have Kelsey's book Strip Squeezes.
I sometimes wonder what people think I am reading about when I bring it to Starbucks. So far no one has come over to my table and suggested that we give it a try.
Ken
2

#6 User is offline   masse24 

  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Full Members
  • Posts: 286
  • Joined: 2009-April-01
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Chicago Suburbs

Posted 2016-December-22, 10:33

It's a good thing when your partner "makes some noise."
“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” George Carlin
1

#7 User is offline   helene_t 

  • The Abbess
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 15,213
  • Joined: 2004-April-22
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Hamilton, New Zealand

Posted 2016-December-22, 10:52

View PostMrAce, on 2016-December-22, 07:58, said:

No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.

Not sure about that one ...
Friends don't let friends post while drunk. --- Vampyr
0

#8 User is offline   billw55 

  • enigmatic
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 4,756
  • Joined: 2009-July-31
  • Gender:Male

Posted 2016-December-22, 11:13

View PostMrAce, on 2016-December-22, 07:58, said:

  • There is no bridge transmitted diseases

Hmm, does Gerber count?
Life is long and beautiful, if bad things happen, good things will follow.
-gwnn
2

#9 User is offline   Winstonm 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 11,904
  • Joined: 2005-January-08
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tulsa, Oklahoma
  • Interests:Art, music

Posted 2016-December-22, 11:19

View Postbillw55, on 2016-December-22, 11:13, said:

Hmm, does Gerber count?


No diaper fetishes, please. :blink:
If something cannot go on forever, it will stop. - Herb Stein
1

#10 User is offline   Phil 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 9,903
  • Joined: 2008-December-11
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:North Texas, USA
  • Interests:Getting back into golf after a very long layoff.

Posted 2016-December-22, 12:20

Ely was a marketing genius.
Winner - BBO Challenge bracket #6 - February, 2017.
0

#11 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 5,662
  • Joined: 2005-May-16
  • Gender:Male

Posted 2016-December-22, 13:16

Pretty much equivalent as far as relationships are concerned...

"Putting your cards on the table makes you the dummy."
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
0

#12 User is offline   manudude03 

  • - - A AKQJT9876543
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 2,439
  • Joined: 2007-October-02
  • Gender:Male

Posted 2016-December-22, 14:58

You can elope without risking pregnancy.

You can have a permanent partner without paying thousands for marriage.

As an aside, when I was on npc duty earlier this year, I had in my profile "when he is not squeezing the ladies at the club" :)
Wayne Somerville
0

#13 User is offline   Cyberyeti 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 8,461
  • Joined: 2009-July-13
  • Location:England

Posted 2016-December-22, 15:42

View Postkenberg, on 2016-December-22, 09:58, said:

I have Kelsey's book Strip Squeezes.
I sometimes wonder what people think I am reading about when I bring it to Starbucks. So far no one has come over to my table and suggested that we give it a try.


50 shades of play ?
0

#14 User is offline   FelicityR 

  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Full Members
  • Posts: 82
  • Joined: 2012-October-26
  • Gender:Female

Posted 2016-December-23, 04:13

You don't have to worry about your 'love handles' (or your choice of lingerie)
Swapping partners is not frowned upon
You can have a 'stiff queen' in your hand without feeling embarrassed
Post mortems do not have involve people who have died [during the sexual act]
Simultaneous Pairs are not under any obligation to perform
No 'bottom' is going to be spanked
You can have a cup of tea and biscuits while playing bridge

but, on the flip side, playing bridge is more difficult than the Karma Sutra (so I've been told) :)
0

#15 User is offline   Cyberyeti 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 8,461
  • Joined: 2009-July-13
  • Location:England

Posted 2016-December-23, 08:37

You can talk to a man about the rubbers you got through with his wife and not have to dodge any bullets.
0

#16 User is offline   msjennifer 

  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Full Members
  • Posts: 506
  • Joined: 2013-August-03
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Variable private
  • Interests:Cricket,Photography,Paediatrics and Community Medicine.

Posted 2016-December-23, 15:13

You are forced to open your hand and expose what it holds when you are dummy. What you hold in your hand is yours and what you hold in your mind is partners.
0

#17 User is offline   iandayre 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 1,074
  • Joined: 2013-December-23
  • Gender:Male

Posted 2016-December-23, 17:50

View PostMrAce, on 2016-December-22, 07:58, said:

There are many things that makes Bridge more appealing than "sex". I found this post by Andrew Winock on his FB profile and added some more to his list. Please add if you can think of other funny comparisons.

  • You do not have to hide your magazines,
  • It is OK to hire a pro.
  • It is Ok to be a pro.
  • You can play with strangers
  • There is no bridge transmitted diseases
  • It is OK to change your partners
  • You can still do it in your 90's
  • Having something short can be a good thing.
  • Playing two over one is appropriate.
  • You will have fun and will be respected for squeezing others.
  • 'Fast arrival' is not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Everyone goes down sometimes!
  • Lying to your pd is OK.
  • You are allowed to ruff your or other people's Queen!
  • You are allowed to watch other pairs.
  • Your age or your gender does not necessarily make you vulnerable.
  • Being partner with same gender is OK regardless of your religion.
  • No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.
  • No one will shoot you for squeezing their spouse!


0

#18 User is offline   661_Pete 

  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Full Members
  • Posts: 206
  • Joined: 2016-May-01

Posted 2016-December-24, 11:45

I may be old-fashioned, but I still think 2 is the best contract....
....soon to be followed by 1 if things turn out well.
Whatever you do, however badly things go, please don't use 1!
And remember, at the end of the day, you'll have to dig spouse's grave with 1...
0

#19 User is offline   Winstonm 

  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Advanced Members
  • Posts: 11,904
  • Joined: 2005-January-08
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tulsa, Oklahoma
  • Interests:Art, music

Posted 2016-December-24, 13:11

View Post661_Pete, on 2016-December-24, 11:45, said:

I may be old-fashioned, but I still think 2 is the best contract....
....soon to be followed by 1 if things turn out well.
Whatever you do, however badly things go, please don't use 1!
And remember, at the end of the day, you'll have to dig spouse's grave with 1...


Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, she'll beat you if she's able
The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet
If something cannot go on forever, it will stop. - Herb Stein
0

Share this topic:


Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users