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Why am I being shunned? Always rejected

#21 User is offline   Caitlynne 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 08:34

Unfortunately, when someone is new to the BBO site, it can take a while before friendships are formed. What's more, if you really are advanced, change it to expert. Most experts on BBO are intermediate to advanced (in my estimation). As one of my friends, a Ph.D. psychologist, explained, BBO is a laboratory for viewing the Dunning-Kruger Effect whereby people overestimate their own abilities because they lack the expertise to recognize their own limitations and the superiority of others who are truly superior.

My suggestion is to join ad hoc team games - which you can put yourself on the list to be informed of when they are organized - and then soon enough you will click with a few other BBO players. And then the site will be fun for you.

Or, if you prefer, follow me and message me when you see me online. I'll play with you for a bit.
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#22 User is offline   GrahamJson 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 10:25

As others have suggested, there probably isn't anything sinister in your predicament, there just happens to be several reasons why a table request might be denied. From personal experience, which is fairly limited, I can only recall having a request accepted on one occasion. Every other time that I have played it has been because I have a prearranged partner keeping a seat for me or because I have gone to the first available seat.

For what it is worth, my observation is that the more conventions someone lists on their profile the weaker player they are. As for self rating as an "expert", I think I have yet to come across a real expert on BBO except of course on view graph. I rather suspect that true experts and WC players have better things to do than slum it on BBO.
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#23 User is offline   zillahandp 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 11:12

My suggestion would be have a regular p or three and arrange to play with em, set up your own table and if you want enter a competition with one of your p's
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#24 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 13:44

Longer-serving members of BBO can access the playing site via a downloaded windows program which is gradually being sidelined in favour of the web browser based access route powered by Flash.

The reason that I mention it, for the benefit of the OP, who likely cannot use the windows client, is that changes in the seat availability (such as when vacant seats get filled) are updated instantly in the windows client. By contrast, the Flash interface only gets updated on the earlier of the user clicking refresh, and a fixed but significant delay. If there is a significant delay between the screen refreshing, whether automatically or forced by clicking on refresh, and an attempt to join an apparently available seat, then there is a risk that the seat has by then been filled or table closed. Experience of using the windows client, and benefitting from the automated instant screen refresh, tells us that in the main club the life span of vacant seats is usually very short, and considerably shorter than the Flash auto-refresh rate . So the presented list of vacant seats is unreliable unless you habitually click refresh immediately prior to joining a seat

Unfortunately the message sent to you on unsuccessfully trying to sit is uninformative on this point.
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"

"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
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#25 User is offline   Kaitlyn S 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 14:35

[

 The_Badger, on 2016-August-12, 02:27, said:

When you find many players with their main systems as SEF or Polish Club, I am making an assumption that you are trying to find a partner in prime European time, as opposed to prime USA time.
Very good point.

 nekthen, on 2016-August-12, 03:54, said:

I think that making yourself an expert would be a mistake. There are two types of expert on BBO those that are a pleasure to play with and those that are completely useless bridge players.
I am holding off on the 'expert' a bit. This comment made me laugh, because it reminds me of a player I played with here that said "Nobody that plays here is any good anymore" right before he didn't cover an honor to cost a trick (but it was worth it because the opponents who were getting annoyed at him were so delighted.)

My guess is that we have a different definition of a "useless bridge player". If someone is fun, lack of skill won't detract from my enjoyment much.

 dave251164, on 2016-August-12, 05:48, said:

Hi Kaitlyn

You might like to try Robot World - especially the Bingo Races and Robot Reward Best Hands. The Instant Tournaments (choose MP or IMPS)are also very convenient. None require any human partners. I play loads and I haven't played with a human partner in many years!
And miss out on the sociability? The people are the most fun part of the game! (BTW, I appreciate your reply, it's just not for me. It might be for someone else that sees it though :) )

 billw55, on 2016-August-12, 06:27, said:

Maybe Acol club is different, but my experience in the MBC is that "intermediate" almost always indicates a weak player. There are a few good ones but the success rate is very low.
The level of play might be lower but in my limited experience the success rate is higher - because an intermediate partner also seems to attract intermediate opponents. That being said, if you expect little from an intermediate partner, you won't be disappointed, and they tend to be a lot more sociable. Oddly enough, I find that my intermediate partners consistently play much better than my intermediate opponents. I wonder if there is any correlation with the discussions after the hands :D

 rcarle, on 2016-August-12, 08:22, said:

But you are obsessing on this, not good.
Agreed, and I have since stopped. Since my OP, now that I have an idea what's going on, I've had nothing but pleasant experiences.

 helene_t, on 2016-August-12, 08:33, said:

When I am host I reject well above 99% of requests so your 1/500 success rate is probably normal.

Reasons for rejecting requests:

- I planed to play with three robots as I only have a few minutes before the next meeting. I just didn't get the robots seated yet. During the 5 secs it takes to seat three robots (a lot more if I need to purchase bbo dollars first or if my connection is very slow) I often get a handful of requests.

- I am waiting for a regular partner to arrive.

- A player left and I want to ask his partner about preferences first before I look for a partner for him.

- I get a bunch of requests, accept one, reject the rest.

- We just stopped playing. I will typically get a handful of requests before I get through the "thanks opps and merry christsmas" ritual and get the table closed.

When I actually take the effort to look at the profile of the requester, I accept most of the time. I would only reject people that I have a "rude and clueless" player note on, or who has some completely obscene things in his profile. That happens very rarely.
Very enlightening.

 helene_t, on 2016-August-12, 08:33, said:

Given the choice I would avoid "experts" unless they are gold stars or have a name I recognize from the bridge literature.
I think it's a lot like finding a partner in real life - you have to try a lot of them before you find one that clicks. Fortunately, here you don't have that awkward break-up conversation.

Thanks for all the replies everyone, and I'll respond to the rest later :)
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#26 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 14:49

 GrahamJson, on 2016-August-12, 10:25, said:

For what it is worth, my observation is that the more conventions someone lists on their profile the weaker player they are.


I suspect that this is true. I know that when I play with a real-life pickup partner I prefer to play rubber-bridge methods if they agree. Few conventions can be played with no discussion at all. And with a pickup partner, real or online, there is little time for discussion.

But barring that, it must surely be best to play one of BBO's preloaded convention cards, since hopefully these are reasonably well thought out systems rather than a hodgepodge of favourite toys.

Failing that too, I would, if I played with online pickups, put nothing on my profile and just play what they have in theirs.

OP, I wonder if you are being a little inflexible? You might find an otherwise compatible partner who prefers a different discard system than you do. And as mentioned above, you can always ask to play a different system. No two profiles are likely to be identical, so there has to be some degree of compromise.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#27 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 14:51

 zillahandp, on 2016-August-12, 11:12, said:

My suggestion would be have a regular p or three and arrange to play with em, set up your own table and if you want enter a competition with one of your p's


And if none of your regular partners plays online?
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#28 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 15:03

Listing a lot of conventions in your profile does not imply that you would be playing them all by default in a pick-up. It is just a menu. Unclear to me why that would be a disincentive to sit.

On the contrary there are a lot of players who will not sit opposite an empty profile (an equally absurd stance to take)
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"

"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
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#29 User is offline   Kaitlyn S 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 15:10

 Caitlynne, on 2016-August-12, 08:34, said:

Or, if you prefer, follow me and message me when you see me online. I'll play with you for a bit.
Cool! We can be Caitlynne & Kaitlyn! :D

 GrahamJson, on 2016-August-12, 10:25, said:

For what it is worth, my observation is that the more conventions someone lists on their profile the weaker player they are.
How interesting! I listed quite a few things simply because most 2/1 players play them and rather than wonder if partner plays something, if he says my profile is good, I know we play it. I would have assumed that others would have listed a lot for the same reason.

I know that when a partner fills a seat that has nothing listed and won't talk (or may not speak English), and the opponents open 1C and he bids 2C, I am clueless whether he thinks it's a monster, or showing clubs, or showing the majors. If someone says my profile is OK except support doubles, I know exactly what it means when he bids 2C, and he knows that I know what it means because I put it in my profile. (Incidentally, someone said she couldn't see more than 3 lines of my profile. Is that true or was she missing the scroll bar?)

 1eyedjack, on 2016-August-12, 13:44, said:

Longer-serving members of BBO can access the playing site via a downloaded windows program which is gradually being sidelined in favour of the web browser based access route powered by Flash.

The reason that I mention it, for the benefit of the OP, who likely cannot use the windows client, is that changes in the seat availability (such as when vacant seats get filled) are updated instantly in the windows client. By contrast, the Flash interface only gets updated on the earlier of the user clicking refresh, and a fixed but significant delay. If there is a significant delay between the screen refreshing, whether automatically or forced by clicking on refresh, and an attempt to join an apparently available seat, then there is a risk that the seat has by then been filled or table closed. Experience of using the windows client, and benefitting from the automated instant screen refresh, tells us that in the main club the life span of vacant seats is usually very short, and considerably shorter than the Flash auto-refresh rate . So the presented list of vacant seats is unreliable unless you habitually click refresh immediately prior to joining a seat

Unfortunately the message sent to you on unsuccessfully trying to sit is uninformative on this point.
A friend told me of that old client. They said they would set up chats in it and I don't think we can join them.

 Vampyr, on 2016-August-12, 14:49, said:

OP, I wonder if you are being a little inflexible? You might find an otherwise compatible partner who prefers a different discard system than you do. And as mentioned above, you can always ask to play a different system. No two profiles are likely to be identical, so there has to be some degree of compromise.
That's something to think about.

Again, thank you all for your well thought out responses. When I first posted some friends said this was a great site but I just wasn't seeing it. Now I am seeing just what an awesome community you have here. I'll probably be replying a lot less in this thread but to anybody that wants to comment, thank you in advance.
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#30 User is offline   fourdad 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 15:56

a lot of people just hesitate to play with new members....simple as that.
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#31 User is offline   StevenG 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 16:00

 Kaitlyn S, on 2016-August-12, 15:10, said:

(Incidentally, someone said she couldn't see more than 3 lines of my profile. Is that true or was she missing the scroll bar?)

If you use the old Windows client, you can't see always someone's full profile. The web version allows for longer profiles.
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#32 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 16:32

 StevenG, on 2016-August-12, 16:00, said:

If you use the old Windows client, you can't see always someone's full profile. The web version allows for longer profiles.

I confirm Kaitlyn S's experience. If I try to view his/her profile using IE11 on a Windows 8.1 machine, using the Flash interface, I can see only 3 lines of the profile, plus the top edge of some text indicating at least one further (hidden) row of text, but no scroll bar to access it.

This is not unique - I have observed this on many occasions.

With the Android mobile skin we get to see the full profile (again with no scroll bar - the whole profile is in this case presented in the initial view).
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

"Gentlemen, when the barrage lifts." 9th battalion, King's own Yorkshire light infantry,
2000 years earlier: "morituri te salutant"

"I will be with you, whatever". Blair to Bush, precursor to invasion of Iraq
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#33 User is offline   shyams 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 16:50

@Kaitlyn S

Don't worry. There are 100s who are happy to play with you.
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#34 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 17:42

 1eyedjack, on 2016-August-12, 15:03, said:

Listing a lot of conventions in your profile does not imply that you would be playing them all by default in a pick-up. It is just a menu. Unclear to me why that would be a disincentive to sit.


So what does the list mean? I will play any of these conventions that you want, but no others? Is there usually a lot of choosing from the "menu" before a pair begin to play? I get the impression that there is not.

Quote

On the contrary there are a lot of players who will not sit opposite an empty profile (an equally absurd stance to take)


Is it absurd? It seems to me that it would show a willingness to play what partner wants. Though I suppose some basic systems should be mentioned. For example there are so many Precision variants that I would hesitate to try it with an nine pickup.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#35 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 17:45

 Kaitlyn S, on 2016-August-12, 15:10, said:

Again, thank you all for your well thought out responses. When I first posted some friends said this was a great site but I just wasn't seeing it. Now I am seeing just what an awesome community you have here. I'll probably be replying a lot less in this thread but to anybody that wants to comment, thank you in advance.


Can you not arrange to play with those friends and forget about randoms?
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#36 User is offline   gfroeli 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 18:10

Holy Cow! It seems you think a lot of your skills and knowledge. Just play and have fun! I've played with various partners with a wide level of skills and I just play my own game...it's not up to me to know every flippin' convention dreamed up out there. Almost all the time it depends on the cards you're dealt anyway. Find a friend, invite a friend for every know it all jerk out here there's at least 10 good people.
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#37 User is offline   Vampyr 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 18:16

I remember a poster once saying that she would not play with a person whose profil said "No Transfers", as that indicated a poor player. I think it indicates a sensible player. Are the transfers on after a double or a 2 overcall? What sort of super-accepts do we play? Do we bid at the three-level with four trumps and a minimum? Do these questions get answered before playing?
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones -- Albert Einstein
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#38 User is offline   Kaitlyn S 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 19:52

 Vampyr, on 2016-August-12, 18:16, said:

I remember a poster once saying that she would not play with a person whose profil said "No Transfers", as that indicated a poor player. I think it indicates a sensible player. Are the transfers on after a double or a 2 overcall? What sort of super-accepts do we play? Do we bid at the three-level with four trumps and a minimum? Do these questions get answered before playing?
If ever I needed a thumbs up emoticon, this would be the time.
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#39 User is offline   steve2005 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 21:36

 Kaitlyn S, on 2016-August-12, 19:52, said:

If ever I needed a thumbs up emoticon, this would be the time.

You could give a plus 1 to the reply. Near bottom right in green.
Sarcasm is a state of mind
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#40 User is offline   Kaitlyn S 

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Posted 2016-August-12, 23:32

 steve2005, on 2016-August-12, 21:36, said:

You could give a plus 1 to the reply. Near bottom right in green.
Guess not - I tried and it said I exceeded my quota of pluses for the day. The maximum for me is apparently zero.
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