Posted 2012-March-13, 09:06
Fred, if you look at the Memphis agenda, I believe that the District 11 Director, Mr. Wesley Mouch, is proposing the following ACBL legislation:
A Bridge to Peace
Bridge in its purist form is a social game meant to be played by humans against humans for the advancement of human understanding. Winning does not mean defeating other people, but rather winning means those persons that exemplify the true spirit of the game.
With this in mind, the following changes are made, effective immediately:
A. All sanctions for games involving mechanical devices such as robots, toasters and hedge-trimmers are hereby cancelled.
B. Bridge is a game meant to be played at a leisurely pace. Part of its enjoyment is the social aspect. Therefore, all Speedball games must have a minimum of 12, and a maximum of 18 minutes for a two-board round. This gives the participants ample time to catch up with each other with their views of "Dancing with the Stars", gives the participants enough time to read the paper travelers, and a quick tinkle.
C. An exemption shall be made to Item "B" above for any vugraph events of ACBL tournaments such as the Vanderbilt and the Spingold. Vugraph is community theater, and is for the benefit of the vugraph audience, not the players. A pace of five minutes per board shall be strictly enforced, and unplayed boards will be played out by GIB like those funny money bridge online contests.
Furthermore, then there is an 'obvious' claim (i.e., GIB says that at least 70% of the cards left will result in making the contract), the DIC shall step in and deem the hand complete. This especially applies to those slow foreign players such as the Dutch with their funny shoes, and to those surly Polish players who were mean to us last year in the regional swiss teams at Paducah.
Transcript from kibbing a (famous) match on BBO:
Me: "Maybe he should have checked for the ♠K before he jumped to the grand slam that luckily made.
Ex-Bermuda Bowl Player: "He did check for the ♠K - he saw it in his opponent's hand!"