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Most hopeless / clueless comment? Post hand chit-chat

#21 User is offline   olegru 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 07:31

Long ago. One of my first tournaments and the first tournament for my partner.
I open 4.
Opp: "How strong is it?"
Partner: "Should be strong. He wants to play game."
Opp: "Do you have any stronger opening bids?"
Partner: "Yes, of cause. 6 and 7."
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#22 User is offline   Trinidad 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 08:32

I declared one hand in the 28 board tournament that my friend (from #18) and I played. He declared two. (You can imagine that I was pretty tired after defending 25 boards with a partner who doesn't have a clue ;) )

This hand was one that he declared:

We had agreed to play everything natural (except 2) with weak two openings: 6-10 HCPs and a good six card suit. My friend in the West seat certainly had 6-10 HCPs and a good six card suit, so he knew what to do. When I saw him open 2, I knew that we were going to have a good board. After all, a weak 2 in diamonds is practically extinct in The Netherlands. I would just raise to game and the opponents would not be able to find their double fit in the majors... (LOL).

My friend played it well and claimed in trick 10. ;)

Rik
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#23 User is offline   Free 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 08:44

View Postmanudude03, on 2011-November-03, 05:25, said:

Seems a little familiar to Free's last comment :) (quote was edited purely for formatting issues)

Well yeah, it's a classic ofcourse ;)
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#24 User is offline   Free 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 08:49

One you only encounter online. You're declaring a hopeless contract, your opps blunder multiple times and as a result you make it. Partner is the first to react with the most unapplicable 3 letters: "WDP"... :rolleyes:
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#25 User is offline   Zelandakh 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 08:53

In the Acol club this is usually written as "vwpp". I really hate this when I am one of the hapless defenders´... :blink: ;)
(-: Zel :-)
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#26 User is online   helene_t 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 09:01

I have had this discussion with some people in the acol club. I think that the fact that everyone says positive things all the time dilutes the value of compliments. I like 1eyedjack's profile text: "If I say WDP I mean it". But most people in the acol club see it differently.

This is not to say that I think that even beginners should only receive praise when they execute a viena coup or similar. For most players, it is already an achievement to play an entire hand without making multiple unforced errors, and if so they deserve praise for that. But saying "wdp" automatically whenever a contract makes, is silly imho.
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#27 User is offline   olegru 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 09:03

Very recent online comments I receive from my partner after winning impossible contract with a huge help from defenders.
“Do not expect wdp, Partner. With 3 declarers this contract was easy to make.”
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#28 User is offline   billw55 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 09:32

In fairness, on some hopeless contracts, it may be possible to play in a way that gives defenders opportunities to make errors, and other ways to play so that the defenders cannot screw up. In such a case, wdp could be true, in a way.

That said, I sometimes respond "typ, lucky" or something similar. Or maybe "typ, was cold" if the play was simple.


Recently I played one of those oh-so-common hands on BBO where my partner bid 4NT as blackwood, when I thought it should be quantitative. So I bid 6NT .. and when dummy appeared it was obvious we should be in 6, which was cold, while 6NT needed some help. A very fortunate lie of the minors allowed a squeeze to develop for my 12th trick - no swing.

After the board, the ops (both alleged experts) had a brief exchange. LHO (not squeezed) blamed RHO (squeezed) for 6NT making. RHO naturally protested, and LHO promptly replied "there was no squeeze". Which was funny since he has the whole hand record right there as soon as the play is over.
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#29 User is offline   phil_20686 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 11:33

In one bridge club where I used to play there was a pair who were somewhat famous for playing a precision very badly.

One auction went 1C*-6N, dummy hits with AQx - AKJxx KJxxx* and this quietly drifted 3 off. Dummy suggested that there was little point playing a strong club system if one was going to bid this way, but declarer, with an air of authority, replied that the real problem was that openers hand was "a clear downgrade".

*This was many years ago before I had the knack for remembering hands, so no promises, but there was a heart void.
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#30 User is offline   EricK 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 12:54

View PostZelandakh, on 2011-November-03, 08:53, said:

In the Acol club this is usually written as "vwpp". I really hate this when I am one of the hapless defenders´... :blink: ;)

Surely there should be a distinction between "wdp" and "wpp" (or even "vwpp")? The former ("well done, partner") being used for when the contract makes, the latter ("(very) well played, partner") for when partner has played (very) well.
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#31 User is offline   RMB1 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 12:58

View PostEricK, on 2011-November-03, 12:54, said:

The former ("well done, partner") being used for when the contract makes, ...

... when partner's best efforts to go down were unequal to the defenders' efforts to let it through.
Robin

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#32 User is offline   tolvyrj 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 13:50

Some 20 years ago in a pairs competition. Two quite well seasoned guys, friends with each other. I have no recall what the auction has been, but one of them launched Blackwood on the road and the other decide to make a "master" bid and response 6Nt. After a long silence everybody passess and the lead came into the board. Declarer had like 15 tricks on the top.
A very loud voice asked from his partner why the hell after he asks how many aces u have, u told me that bananas r on sale in local market.
I took a while before we stopped laughing.
Personally one of the most memorable moments was when i said that im sry after i had plundered perfectly easy game. His response was npp prd im sure u tried u best :rolleyes:
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#33 User is offline   Cyberyeti 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 13:53

Partner (who was a pretty dozy sort) passed a 14 count, RHO opened 1 so I looked at my not much and found a pretty horrible jump overcall of 2 off Jxxxx, LHO passed (alerted as forcing) and we duly played 2X. The defence failed to lead trumps at any point so I made 5 trump tricks off Ax/Jxxxx and scored +470, then the nonsense started.

Opponents claimed psyche opposite psyche (when neither bid was a psyche, partner's was an error and mine was in system). Director ruled in their favour! and adjusted the score to 2 undoubled for 110 (where the auction could not possibly have ended as LHO's pass was forcing).

Opps couldn't see that the last thing I wanted partner to table was a 14 count here (so their game might not be on), and that they should have taken 500 on a trump lead, 300 on any half competent defence.

If I'm going to give the director any credit at all, he could see the scores on the other boards, and would have known that we still got a maximum VP win in the match even with this adjustment.
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#34 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 14:09

View Postolegru, on 2011-November-03, 07:31, said:

Long ago. One of my first tournaments and the first tournament for my partner.
I open 4.
Opp: "How strong is it?"
Partner: "Should be strong. He wants to play game."
Opp: "Do you have any stronger opening bids?"
Partner: "Yes, of cause. 6 and 7."

That's a bit like the story narrated by Sontag in Power Precision, of an opponent from Yorkshire who opened 3C against him on what later turned out to be about a 19 count. When after the hand it was suggested that he was a bit strong for opening 3C he replied words to the effect "If I 'ave an 'opening 'and I open 1 Cloob. If I 'ave a strong 'and I open 2 Cloobs. If I 'ave a VERY strong 'and I open 3 Cloobs. ONCE, I opened 4 Cloobs."

Many years ago I played in the Portland Pairs - a national mixed pairs event in the UK. As we were about to play the first hand of a set, several rounds into the event, the piercing shriek of Richard Fleet was to be heard throughout the room ...
"DIRRRECTORRRR!"
"Er, yes?"
"Would you be so kind as to tell me which of these two gentlemen is the lady?"
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).
Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.

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#35 User is offline   Free 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 14:58

Many years ago an older friend of mine played an international tournament, but didn't know any of the opponents. They had some weird auction starting with 1-1M (he doesn't remember the exact auction) and his screen mate asked information. My friend explained it short as "Walsh". His screen mate shakes his head and said: "Impossible, I'm Walsh and I don't know this sequence". :)
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#36 User is offline   mikeh 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 17:45

View PostFree, on 2011-November-03, 14:58, said:

Many years ago an older friend of mine played an international tournament, but didn't know any of the opponents. They had some weird auction starting with 1-1M (he doesn't remember the exact auction) and his screen mate asked information. My friend explained it short as "Walsh". His screen mate shakes his head and said: "Impossible, I'm Walsh and I don't know this sequence". :)

In our neck of the woods, we sometimes play that when the auction starts 1m (1N) 2 of opener's minor is weak takeout for the majors. We call it Kokish.

A number of years ago, at a Vancouver Nationals, two friends of mine played against Eric and their favourite device came up. Opener duly alerted and was surprised when Kokish asked for an explanation.

'It's Kokish, of course....weak with both majors'

Eric laughed....he'd never heard of this usage let alone that he had invented it.
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#37 User is offline   cloa513 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 18:35

That last post needs a little edit.
http://www.pattayabr...eJokes_main.htm
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#38 User is offline   manudude03 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 18:45

I had one case tonight. The bidding goes (1S)-X-(2D)-P-(P)-2H-(3D). I have a close decision as to whether to double 3D or raise. I decide to double it being nv vs vul and we take it for 500. This ends up being a fairly average board with most pairs in some number of diamonds doubled. Further down the scores, there is a 2H+3. My partner says "Partner, why didn't you raise? We could have had 450 in 4H"
Wayne Somerville
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#39 User is offline   blackshoe 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 19:35

View PostCyberyeti, on 2011-November-03, 13:53, said:

If I'm going to give the director any credit at all, he could see the scores on the other boards, and would have known that we still got a maximum VP win in the match even with this adjustment.


I really hate it when people praise directors, even faintly, for making an incompetent ruling "because it didn't matter". It always matters. :(
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#40 User is offline   the hog 

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Posted 2011-November-03, 22:37

For those who enjoy David Bird's Monk books, Bro Hermann is based on a real character, a very fine but erratic Australian player. "Hermann", not his real name, was playing in a serious event with a well known Australian Bridge author and very good player, (not rdk), whom I shall call Tim.
Hermann is on lead against 6NT, which he doubled, holding 2 Aces. He leads one Ace and then goes into the tank and switches to a low card. Declarer plays the hand well and and Tim has to discard from K Jxxx in the endgame and defends correctly in discarding the K. His J of Hearts takes the setting trick. He gathers up his cards and throws them in Hermann's face. Hermann merely laughs and replies, "Well, I thought we might get it 2 off".

Another one. I was playing in a National event against Stephen Burgess, an extremely good NZ international, and his terrible, but very wealthy client. The client, (whom I shall call E), puts down a dummy that does not even remotely resemble his bidding. Burgess takes one look at dummy and comes out with, "E get your f*****g ugly face to the bar, order everyone at the table a drink and don't come back until the hand is over." The client is still around by the way and these days hires top Polish internationals to play with him.
On another occasion, Burgess, playing with the same client was defending a contract. He turned his seat around and played his cards by throwing them over his shoulder. The director was called and Burgess commented, "This is the only way I don't get to look at him botch another defence."

A good friend of mine was playing against an very strong female player, who later went on to play for Australia. This young lady had a habit of wering very low cut, sheer bouses and a black leather micro mini. She was also very well endowed. Sh also used to lean forward so that everyone always got a great view. my friend was more interested in doing well rather than enjoying the sights, so this was too much for him and he came out with this line, "Would you please remove your tits from the table unless you intend to play them to this trick."
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