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Lighten things up a bit thank you Mr. Norris

#61 User is offline   ron 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 22:08

There are no prime numbers-- only numbers Chuck Norris hasn't factored yet.
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#62 User is offline   pclayton 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 22:34

Al_U_Card, on Nov 7 2008, 01:00 PM, said:

The last time Chuck Norris executed a trump coup, three South American governments fell.

Easily my favorite.
"Phil" on BBO
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#63 User is offline   crazy4hoop 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 22:43

When Gee plays with Chuck Norris, he automatically assumes the role of "crew."
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#64 User is offline   barmar 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 10:46

When Chuck Norris executes a squeeze, every card in his hand is a threat card.

#65 User is offline   jtfanclub 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 11:51

Chuck Norris always declares...because nobody has the courage to tell Chuck Norris that he's the dummy.
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#66 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 13:06

When Chuck Norris plays odd-even signals, all of your signals have to be odd.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#67 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 13:10

Al_U_Card, on Nov 11 2008, 02:06 PM, said:

When Chuck Norris plays odd-even signals, all of your signals have to be odd.

When Chuck signals, odd demands; even forbids. Chuck doesn't "encourage."
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#68 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 13:18

Finesse is an alien concept to Chuck Norris
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).

Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.
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#69 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 13:28

1eyedjack, on Nov 11 2008, 02:18 PM, said:

Finesse is an alien concept to Chuck Norris

And why would he? He once dropped a doubleton king offside.
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#70 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 13:58

If you look closely at this face-card, you will see that the "Man with the axe" is based on Chuck Norris.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#71 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 15:01

Playing against Chuck Norris gives new meaning to the term "post-mortem".
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#72 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 15:02

Never be surprised to hear Chuck Norris opponents referring to the fact that they just got "clobbered".
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#73 User is offline   y66 

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Posted 2008-November-11, 23:29

All shifts are obvious to Chuck Norris.
"If you lose all hope, you can always find it again." ― Richard Ford, The Sportswriter
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#74 User is offline   1eyedjack 

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Posted 2008-November-12, 02:33

Lobowolf, on Nov 11 2008, 08:28 PM, said:

1eyedjack, on Nov 11 2008, 02:18 PM, said:

Finesse is an alien concept to Chuck Norris

And why would he? He once dropped a doubleton king offside.

You are right. For us mortals, we have to rely on dropping a singleton King offside. But when Chuck Norris plays the Ace, the next hand with Kx naturally sacrifices the King.
Psych (pron. saik): A gross and deliberate misstatement of honour strength and/or suit length. Expressly permitted under Law 73E but forbidden contrary to that law by Acol club tourneys.

Psyche (pron. sahy-kee): The human soul, spirit or mind (derived, personification thereof, beloved of Eros, Greek myth).

Masterminding (pron. mPosted ImagesPosted ImagetPosted Imager-mPosted ImagendPosted Imageing) tr. v. - Any bid made by bridge player with which partner disagrees.
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#75 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-12, 06:25

1eyedjack, on Nov 12 2008, 03:33 AM, said:

Lobowolf, on Nov 11 2008, 08:28 PM, said:

1eyedjack, on Nov 11 2008, 02:18 PM, said:

Finesse is an alien concept to Chuck Norris

And why would he? He once dropped a doubleton king offside.

You are right. For us mortals, we have to rely on dropping a singleton King offside. But when Chuck Norris plays the Ace, the next hand with Kx naturally sacrifices the King.

Ahhhh, THAT is the Norris unblock!
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#76 User is offline   keylime 

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  Posted 2008-November-12, 08:23

Norris' defensive technique is purely offensive in nature.
"Champions aren't made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. " - M. Ali
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#77 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-13, 12:40

All redoubles are to play. Chuck doesn't need "rescuing." And if his partner does, he doesn't need to tell him; Chuck will rescue him.
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#78 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-13, 15:33

When Chuck Norris executes a smother play, the opp has to be resuscitated.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#79 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-14, 11:11

When you play with Chuck Norris, his hand is referred to as a "fist".
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#80 User is offline   y66 

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Posted 2008-November-15, 10:13

Nobody burgles Chuck Norris.
"If you lose all hope, you can always find it again." ― Richard Ford, The Sportswriter
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