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Lighten things up a bit thank you Mr. Norris

#41 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 13:32

When partner makes a grand slam try, Chuck Norris kicks it in.
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#42 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 13:35

Lobowolf, on Nov 6 2008, 05:21 PM, said:

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

(I know, it's not bridge-related, but it IS my favorite, and it IS the Water Cooler).


More in keeping with the original post:

When Chuck Norris leads out of turn, you don't have 5 options; you have 1: You WILL accept it.

Kudos to the author, I missed that post.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#43 User is offline   pclayton 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 13:47

Al_U_Card, on Nov 7 2008, 11:27 AM, said:

Chuck Norris' partners never have to use key-card because Chuck ALWAYS has all 5 aces (and they are real aces......no kings for Chuck)

Um, Chuck's partners never use key card. Chuck is always captain.
"Phil" on BBO
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#44 User is offline   keylime 

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  Posted 2008-November-07, 13:53

When Chuck Norris plays a strong club, his partner wears football padding to minimialize the forcing nature of the bid.
"Champions aren't made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. " - M. Ali
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#45 User is offline   keylime 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 14:00

When Chuck Norris preempts, the world stops in awe of his bridge skill. When Chuck Norris responds to a a preempt, partner will become dummy to keep living. When Chuck Norris overcalls a preempt, LHO will never use a cuebid out of fear that Chuck Norris will kill him with the card of the overcall only.
"Champions aren't made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. " - M. Ali
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#46 User is offline   pclayton 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 14:31

Chuck's Double card is a lethal weapon in 38 states and it cannot be carried on airplanes.

I cannot even discuss the redouble card for fear that my keyboard will catch on fire.
"Phil" on BBO
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#47 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 14:48

Chuck Norris' favorite ace-ask is kickback, and he knows how to use it.
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#48 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 15:00

The last time Chuck Norris executed a trump coup, three South American governments fell.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#49 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 15:01

When Chuck Norris endplays you, your game is finished.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#50 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 15:03

pclayton, on Nov 7 2008, 02:47 PM, said:

Al_U_Card, on Nov 7 2008, 11:27 AM, said:

Chuck Norris' partners never have to use key-card because Chuck ALWAYS has all 5 aces (and they are real aces......no kings for Chuck)

Um, Chuck's partners never use key card. Chuck is always captain.

My new favorite.
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C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

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#51 User is offline   Al_U_Card 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 15:05

At the last tournament he entered, Chuck Norris won the Knock-outs by acclamation.
The Grand Design, reflected in the face of Chaos...it's a fluke!
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#52 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 16:00

When Chuck Norris directs the game, there are NO irregularities.
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#53 User is offline   y66 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 16:41

Every level belongs to Chuck Norris.

Edit: Chuck Norris never makes redundant posts.
"If you lose all hope, you can always find it again." ― Richard Ford, The Sportswriter
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#54 User is offline   pclayton 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 17:13

y66, on Nov 7 2008, 02:41 PM, said:

Every level belongs to Chuck Norris.

Yellow card on the IP....
"Phil" on BBO
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#55 User is offline   keylime 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 17:19

Chuck Norris' skill at executing a squeeze instills instant submission to his line of play.
"Champions aren't made in gyms, champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill. " - M. Ali
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#56 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 17:43

Chuck Norris once executed a non-simultaneous double squeeze simultaneously. Without a threat card in any of the suits.
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Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#57 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 18:20

Don't worry about what the auction:

1 - 2;
3

means. 3 is natural. Chuck Norris never needs "help."
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#58 User is offline   Lobowolf 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 18:30

Due to an error on his partner's part, Chuck Norris once found himself declaring a grand slam without the ace of trump. After briefly considering killing his partner, he instead intimidated his RHO, who had the ace of trump, and induced a revoke, thereby making 7; however, the director ruled that one trick did not restore equity to Chuck. So, lacking the ace of trump, Chuck Norris became the first player in recorded history to make an overtrick in a grand slam, scoring up 1540. Not 2240. Chuck Norris is NEVER vulnerable.
1. LSAT tutor for rent.

Call me Desdinova...Eternal Light

C. It's the nexus of the crisis and the origin of storms.

IV: ace 333: pot should be game, idk

e: "Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."
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#59 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 18:52

chuck norris never miscounts, sometimes there are 14 cards in a suit.
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#60 User is offline   Trumpace 

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Posted 2008-November-07, 19:05

When Chuck Norris defends, ice cold contracts vaporize.
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